money.

A little boy used to love the color of the stones that would wash up on shore. He would go daily to collect the stones: yellow stones, blue stones, red stones, and green stones. He would bring them home and stack them in piles, according to size and color and smile at their unique shapes and intricate textures.

As the boy grew, he continued to love his stones. He continued to collect them, to stack them, to build with them, to find such pleasure in them.

The boy fell in love, the boy had children, and the man taught his family how to find the most colorful, the most unique, the most delicate and the strongest stones. His home, and the grasses surrounding it, were soon filled with all manner of stone and art forms built with them. People came from all over the country to see the stones, to marvel at them, and the man was proud and satisfied.

Eventually, the man grew sick, like many do before death. He found it hard to walk and he could no longer do his favorite thing. His children agreed to take him, one final time, to the shore to see what he could find.

After a long and tiring journey the old man finally arrived. Being as old as he was, he found it hard to bend over. Being as old as he was, he found it hard to move fast and they ended up staying much longer than usual, until the sun began to set and the air grow a bit colder.

It was then the man began to cry. Tears, like rivers, streamed down his cheeks, His children gasped and his wife tried to comfort him.

“Papa, what is the matter?”

Rarely had anyone seen him cry as he was.

Rarely had anyone seen him smile as he then did. “The sunset. The ocean. How could I have never seen such beauty until now?”

passion.

“How do I find my passion? How do I merge it with my career? How do I get out of bed—”

“Stop,” the master interrupted. “I’ve heard enough. Why don’t you ask the politician or the evangelist?”

“I’m asking you.”

“Well, the evangelist selling lies seems to have found more than I. The politician spouting empty promises, too. Yet, so has the blind woman I pass every morning smiling at the pigeons as though they were her children and the disabled man who sings all day while picking rice under the hot sun. You see, passion is only a horse. Or a violin. The more important question is where do you want to go? What song do you want to learn to play?”

“How do I do that?”

“Stop asking how to smile. Learn to be happy.”

cynicism.

“Tell me about cynicism,” I said to my teacher.

“Why do you want to know?” he asked.

“I don’t want to be known as a cynic. They say cynicism is a wound, not wisdom.”

“Hmm,” he whispered. “Tell me... is the free man a cynic when he mistrusts the invitation of the warden to live in his beautiful prison? Is the warden a cynic when he mistrusts the invitation of the free man to his woods of wild creatures and flowing rivers?”

“Yes?” I answered.

“Cynicism is an excuse to resist change. Always resist building bars and never resist tearing them down. Yes, the bars do wound. As they should. And that is wisdom. Do not worry what they call you, only if you are always becoming more free.” 

cool vs good

You know how the “bad boy” has historically been the “cool guy” and the “good guy” has generally been the one that the “cool girls” aren’t that interested in?

Movies and shows exaggerate it, of course, but I assume, we’ve all felt it at some time, (especially if you went to High School) the good vs cool polarization and opposite temptations. (And it extends to all kinds of aspects of life.)

I’ll be honest, if I look back on any parts of my past and feel shame or embarrassment or regret, or whatever, it’s usually around not coming off as, or not being, cool. It’s much more rarely about not being good - and the times it was not about being good, it was often about not being cool… (keep reading). I’d say that there’s still more of an emphasis circulating around me of being cool more than being good.

I’ll stop here for a second. But Ryan, you grew up in a world where you were supposed to be a good boy by not doing these things and doing these things. How can you even say that?

Both words are pretty subjective. And I’d say both are pretty dependent on some kind of tribe. And they aren’t diametrically opposed or antithetical to each other: it’s of course possible to be cool and good.

If I had to define them, in really general terms, I’d say cool seems to lean tribal, and good (at its best) seems to lean global and we’d all rather be in a smaller specific tribe than a bigger ambiguous one - they offer more safety.

So, how many of those times when I was told to be a good boy - if I look back - I was actually being told to be a cool boy. Yeah, don’t have sex that’s what good Christian boys do. (Or is it what cool Christian boys do?)

What’s any of this matter? Well, if you’re like me at all (and I know lots of people aren’t) it’s easy to get sucked into the cool vacuum. Buy this, wear this, do this, say this, post this… and of course, the “buy this” is different for every tribe… but the big capitalism tribe is more than fine with the smaller tribes that support it. It’s also easy to sometimes feel “not enough” not because you didn’t do the right thing for humanity but because you didn’t fit in somewhere at some time. It’s easy to be tempted to make sure that doesn’t happen again by being devoted to cool - according to some tribe.

Just to reiterate, get the old stereotypes of both words out of your system. “Cool Christians” might post Bible verses and “Cool Atheists” might post about the danger of religion and good Christians might lead civil rights movements in America and good Atheists might start homeless shelters. The cool versions may still be more accepted by the tribes than the good.

(Side note: interesting that the vast majority of the Christian councils over the centuries have been arguments over theological issues that have nothing to do with morality. In other words, they’ve been tribal “cool” definitions and not “good” definitions, which is probably why so many of them resulted in killing each other.)

Hopefully this makes some sense. Maybe I can say it this way: it’s easy to look to the past, be in the present, and think about the future with the “cool” lens. This can result in a variety of anxieties and stresses. (For me.) It’s harder to look to the past, be in the present, and think about the future with the “good” lens. And maybe it’s because we’ve been inundated with propaganda about cool and not as much about good.

All that to say, I think I need to spend more time on good and less on cool, even if I’m not sure exactly what that really means.

behind the shadows

Over at the Lights Like Us podcast I’ve been experimenting with some “small-ish, daily-ish thoughts about the world, light, and freedom” loosely based around some of the ideas I explore in the book Insipid.

If you’re interested check them out on iTunes or Spotify under “Behind the Shadows”.

celebrate good friday. don't repeat it.

It’s only Wednesday. This means there’s still time, to change history. Forever. There isn’t much time, but two days will have to do.

Let me be honest. I’m good at sarcasm. I was once a pro at pessimism. It’s entertaining for me to throw out controversial phrases and thoughts, with a little more bite than necessary, even if I do believe in their core message, just to grab attention. I once made a living, literally, as a pastor (early on), out of being negative about the church.

I left all of that for something more along the lines of “better to light a candle than call out the darkness” way of life which I sometimes succeed at…

Lately though, I’ve been tempted to return to my roots, only because so many Christian leaders are making it way too easy for me by saying things like…

• President Donald Trump should launch military strikes on infectious disease research facilities in China.

• the fight against the COVID-19 coronavirus is “child’s play” and that America is really fighting against socialism.

• vaccines will kill more people than all the viruses put together …

• Dr. Anthony Fauci is limited in his perspective by his “narrow medical interests” and should be fired

• ”We still have faith in America and capitalism. We know God is still by our side. We still have faith in our G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time) President Donald J Trump. In Trump we trust. In America we trust. In God we trust.”

And that was all just yesterday. But, again, that’s the easy stuff in our world of extreme polarization and cutting remarks and biases that we now put on patches and wear on our jackets. I think we used to try and get rid of our blinding biases but it seems those days are long gone.

Anyway, my point is this: I actually believe something with every grain of my being. I used to be a pastor. I used to preach these sermons and I used to be friends with these people. Some family members are still part of the tribe. I get it. I really do. That’s why I feel it so strongly.

So, I want to be honest and heartfelt and try to avoid the snide remarks - though I can’t promise anything.

But we don’t have much time on our side so let me get right to it.

I’ve seen President Trump often compared to King Cyrus, the Persian ruler who liberated the Jews from Babylon. I’ve also seen Trump compared to King David. I’ve seen Trump compared to lots of leaders in the Bible. Good leaders, bad leaders, but leaders with a purpose that the writer and speakers of the comparison can rally behind as “God’s chosen leader”.

I mean this with all sincerity. Can I bring up another leader that it’s possible - just entertain the possibility for a second, please - that Trump is more like?

Julius Caesar.

Listen, I was a pastor for about 10 years but I’m not going sit here and pretend to be an expert in Cyrus and or Caesar. But I’ve never believed one needed to be an expert to get the message of the old stories… in fact, that might be one of the messages of the old stories - you don’t need to be an expert. Just a child.

So, if I may.

Caesar reigned over the largest and most powerful empire to ever exist up to that point in history. A booming economy and stock market. A military the world feared. Architecture, infrastructure, marvels, roads, order and peace.

If you’re not following… Rome was the America of the day and Caesar was its ruler.

Now, some will push back here. Whoa, whoa, the Jews were not free to worship their God under Roman rule and we need to be careful of preventing that from happening here. That’s the very thing we’re trying to fight!

Here’s the thing. They were, actually, free to worship. There were some rules, sure, some consolations they had to give up, but they were generally allowed to have their culture, their temple, and their faith… for the most part.

As long as they acknowledged that Caesar was the man, and Rome was their empire.

If you find that repulsive, again, just hear me out for a second: we do both of those things pretty voluntarily in America. No one needs to threaten us with death, we gladly pledge allegiance to our empire and, well… as I’ve already quoted, many Christians think pretty highly enough of Trump, without being forced to call him Lord.

So… if we want comparisons, we should compare Rome to America. (I’m not the first to say this - at all.)

If we need more proof, how about this line from the Jewish religious leaders (read that again - they were Jews and they were allowed to be religious leaders) of the time.

“What are we accomplishing?” they asked. “Here is this man performing many signs. If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away both our temple and our nation.”

So, just to be clear. They had a temple and a nation at the time and they were terrified of losing it. In case it’s not obvious, this is the exact same thing as saying we can’t lose the 10 commandments in our schools and god in our courts today. To some, the “Romans” these days are the “liberal Democrats” but let’s be careful with stretching the story where it shouldn’t go because really everything was working fine.

They had a nation. They had a temple and faith. And they had a powerful leader who was allowing them to have it with peace and prosperity. They had everything they wanted until this new guy came along. Not Caesar, not Rome, some new guy. Who was this guy?

Bernie Sanders?
No… it was Jesus.

Yeah he was the one who was performing many signs and the signs he was performing were somehow different enough that the religious leaders were worried that the Romans were going to be mad. Why would the Romans suddenly be mad? Everything was working great.

The only reason the Romans would be upset was if someone was calling out their beautiful empire… their military, their money, their power, their nationalism (group narcissism) and on and on it goes. And there’s a reason we know this is why they were mad.

This is why we get mad today. In fact, some of you (depending on where you’re at with your religion) got mad just reading that list. Please pay attention to that.

It’s all over the news today. It’s the same exact story. Don’t call out our military. Don’t call out our flag. Don’t call out our economic structure. Hell, there may be miracles but you… just… can’t… say… some… things. We might lose our temple and our nation and we can’t risky that.

(Which by the way, just a side note: what kind of shitty temple and nation can be taken by Rome? Or America? Or Bernie Sanders? I mean if that’s the best temple and nation and “kingdom” that your religion gives you, it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise that not many people are interested anymore. Okay, sorry, I was starting to get sarcastic again.)

Okay, it’s dragging on. Let me wrap this up.

It’s Wednesday.

Friday is two days away. What’s going to happen on Friday? Well, last time, it seems the religious leaders sided with Caesar and they chose to kill Jesus.

Please remember this. Caesar didn’t kill Jesus. Pilate didn’t. The religious people did. The “Christians” in today’s empire.

In case we need a reminder:

“Here is your king,” Pilate said to the Jews.
But they shouted, “Take him away! Take him away! Crucify him!”
“Shall I crucify your king?” Pilate asked.
“We have no king but Caesar,” the chief priests answered.
Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified.

We have no king but Caesar the religious people answered.
And the crowds chanted to crucify him!

Why the hell would religious leaders kill Jesus?

Jesus threatened to take away their nation and their temple. Jesus did? Would Jesus today? Why not?

So, I’m trying to be really kind here. I love all of the things Jesus stood for: he hung out with women who had abortions, porn stars, addicts, criminals, the LGBTQ community, socialists, and all of the other people that I mostly hear condemnation from our modern religious leaders about. And, this is important… he would have hung out with the religious leaders too but they didn’t want to.

The religious chose not to hang out with Jesus because they didn’t like the other people he hung with.

They preferred Caesar as their king because Caesar gave them the nation and temple they actually wanted - because he had the power to - even though this was not the nation and temple Jesus wanted.

Ok, I’ve got to wrap this up.

I don’t know what I think of many of the stories in the Bible anymore. Cyrus? I don’t know. Men shouldn’t cut their hair? Women shouldn’t wear jewelry? There’s some weird stuff in there. But when I pull way back from these stories, I mean way back, (like myth-way-back) I see the same stories living out toady. Every year.

Ironically, even as we celebrate them.

We would still choose a daily beating every day over freedom if we are guaranteed food. (Exodus story)
We would still choose a glass of merlot and a nice Ikea couch over justice. (Amos)

We would still choose our nation and our temple over Jesus and we’ll kill him all over again, even as we mourn his death, and wait for him to rise again on Sunday… so we can kill him again next year.

I’m using “we” here to try and be with you. But the truth is I don’t include myself in the “we” anymore. See, I’m choosing love and grace and kindness and compassion and, yes, even science this year over Caesar. I’m not chanting out “we have no king but Caesar” with you.

I can’t. I haven’t been able to for a long time. I’ve found much better kings.

And honestly, the more you chant it out, the further away from you I want to be, which makes me sad. And, again, sometimes I react to sadness with satire and sarcasm but this year I want to try something else.

Will you take a look at the Jesus you’re about to kill? I mean seriously take a look at him, compared to America and Trump and Caesar and Rome? I mean, honestly, try to tear off those bias badges and, this Good Friday, actually try not to live the story?

I promise to really think too. I mean it. I’ve got plenty of my own disdain for the past, and bias, and misguided perceptions, and anger, and fear, and sadness that often mask the mystery and life and liberation that (I think) Jesus came to show off - if we could get rid of all that other stuff.

This is my true and sincere hope for America and it’s Christians: Instead of burying Jesus, again, maybe try burying the Good Friday story you keep living every year, instead?

You’ve got two days to think about it.

(Feel free to share using the icons below.)

Coronavirus and Statistics II

Well 11 days ago I hoped this thing would remain small for us in the U.S. It would seem we are past that point, unfortunately. (I’ve eaten a bit of humble pie if I’m honest. I was probably a little too optimistic early on.)

So, there are all kinds of new stats now and none of them are very reassuring. 1.5 million deaths, up to 70% of America being infected… broken healthcare systems. Yeah… it’s time to be Optimistically Cautious. Anyone with half a brain (and our president) now know this. It’s time to error on the side of caution without falling off the cliff of fear and pessimism.

So stay safe. Stay optimistic. Stay careful. Stay love. And here are some of the best articles I’ve read recently in case you haven't had your fill. (is that possible?)

1. UCSF Excerpt Panel - great stuff.

2. Why You Must Act Now - and not tomorrow. (More stats than you can handle.)

3. Canlis. A fine dining restaurant in Seattle that has shut down to open three drive-thrus and keep staff employed. To more of this.

Coronavirus and Statistics

I’m not going to lie, it’s scary. It’s in our state, at one of my kids’ universities (or at least a connection) and seems to be getting worse and worse every day. When I (or those around me) start to panic I find it healthy to go to statistics. Not only does it assuage some fear, but it also reminds me of the things around the world that I don’t really give a damn about on most days, which does not assuage other feelings inside of me.

(None of these statistics are meant to make light of the disease or its potential for devastation - or those who have died already. Only to make us aware of numbers.)

As of this writing, 103 Americans have the virus. 6 have died and there are over 89,000 global cases with over 3,000 deaths worldwide.

1. Over 100 Americans die every day from gun violence.

2. Over 1,200 children under the age of 5 die from malaria every day.

3. It’s estimated over 10,000 people die every day from obesity related diseases.

4. Recent estimates say 25,000 people die of starvation every day.

5. It’s estimated the major news organizations will profit 3.3 million dollars a day in 2020.

And one more time, just to be clear, I hope coronavirus stays small and goes away quickly. It’s got amazing potential for tragedy that I hope we are able to avert. At the same time, there are many other tragedies happening that I wish I, and we, were able to pay as much attention to.

christianity is the big attachment.

According to Anthony de Mello, attachments are “an emotional state of clinging caused by the belief that without some particular thing or person you can not be happy.” (If you haven't heard of Anthony DeMello, google him right now, listen to whatever you can and buy one of his books (The Way to Love or Awareness) and then come back here.)

In other words, attachments are the belief that without something or some person, we can’t have what we really want: happiness.

de Mello, though, says that we are already happy. We can not attain happiness because we can not attain something we already have, it’s just that our mind is constantly creating unhappiness through its attachments. This follows most of good mystical teaching - we are good, the divine is here, we are free, we are light, etc… it’s not that there is something to find, it’s that there are things to unload to reveal the true state of ourselves and reality. Which is good. We don’t get to good, it is good (Julian of Norwich), and we have to unload the shit that hides it. (Also a great definition of sin.)

Side note: this is also the basis of meditation. Note your thoughts and feelings and let them go, coming back to the breath. We are not our thoughts and feelings and they are only distractions. You get it.

So, back to those attachments. They are the belief that without something we can’t be happy. Of course, the irony is that this belief causes us to not have the very thing that we are trying to get.

de Mello talks about two aspects to attachments: the positive and the negative. The positive is “the flash of pleasure and excitement - the thrill” - that comes when we get what we are attached to. Oh my god, I just got a thousand dollars! The negative is the sense of threat and tension that always accompanies the attachment. Oh shit what if I lose the money, don’t spend it correctly, someone takes it, or if I never make more money, or if…

These both, assume, that we actually get the attachment. Not getting the attachment of course has its own problems - we still want the thing that makes us happy and we can’t get it.

So to summarize. We’re already happy. But we have brains (and programming) that convince us that we need something to make us what we already are. We spend our lives desperate to get it/them and then if/when we do, it provides a temporary flash of pleasure and then the fear we will lose it…. not to mention that we usually have more than 1 of these - so just getting 1 isn’t enough. We need all kinds of them.

Struggle, fear, anxiety, unhappiness… all emerge from attachments.

So… how do we find true happiness? We drop the attachments. As de Mello says, again, “If you learn to enjoy the scent of a thousand flowers you will not cling to one or suffer when you can not get it. If you have a thousand favorite dishes the loss of one will go unnoticed and leave you happiness unimpaired. But it is precisely your attachments that prevent you from developing a wider and more varied taste for things and people.”

Now let’s bring this back around to Christianity… religion in general… but because I grew up in Christianity I can more safely talk about that one.

Christianity is the thing that blatantly says you can’t be happy without it. Not in this life or the next. Feel free to sub in Jesus and/or God and/or ““salvation” or whatever other words, but at its base, it says you can’t have the thing you are looking for until you get this thing or person or unless you walk with this thing or person. Now, as soon as you get this thing or person - assuming we can - we are instantly afraid of losing it. Oh crap, what if I piss off God? What if I lose Jesus? What if I don’t believe the right things? What if I don’t go to church?

We are also threatened by anyone or anything that might take our attachment and so like the man in the concentration camp who has just found food - another great de Mello example - he shoves the food in with one hand while holding out his other hand to prevent anyone from stealing his food. The image of most Christians - right? (especially evangelicals)

It makes so many things clear. If your god is an attachment then one will spend their whole life trying to find god, and when they do find god, will be terrified of losing god. Of course, most Christians don't talk this way blatantly but it’s in all the more subtle language… once saved always saved sounds good on paper but when “being saved” means acquiring something… well… you can always lose something that you’ve had to acquire, and thus, life becomes the fear and anxiety of losing it (careful of wrong belief) or someone taking it (careful of the world, the other religions, the enemy…) and it’s all such small thinking. One single flower.

Alright… so here’s where we’re at. We’re already happy. But, our mind tricks us (and has been programmed from years of propaganda) to make us believe we’re not but that we will be if we can get that thing or person. Unfortunately, this is the greatest trick the devil (or darkness or evil) ever played (it’s not convincing the world he/she doesn’t exist).

The greatest trick that darkness has ever pulled is convincing a bunch of people with 20/20 vision that they will never see unless they put on a blindfold and calling that blindfold Christianity.

So how do we find happiness? We drop attachments. We drop Christianity. As someone who has, let me tell you there’s a whole world of sight and freedom on the other side (along with more attachments but at least a big one is gone.)

When people continue to pull stats out about the “nones” - the nonreligious but spirtual - I get stoked. These are people who have dropped at least one major attachment.

All this to say. If you have family or friends who are still attached it helps to explain a lot of their behavior in regards to their faith. If you want to find freedom drop the Christianity thing. You’ll find Jesus and the other mystics with you.

And, most importantly, this is never some kind of brag thing - that’s the whole point in the beginning. We’re all the same, with all we need, it’s just that some of us have unloaded a bit more of the shit than others… help someone unload today… or you know… what’s that line… my burden is light (and always light)?

For more thoughts on the greatest trick the devil ever played read Insipid.

The top 10 books every none should read...

I haven’t seen many none lists so I made one. Here is my top 10 books every none should read - especially those that grew up Christian. Enjoy.

only love and fear.

So, if there is only love and fear - as Anthony deMello claims… i.e. all things boil down to it.

The crazy thing about that is this:

Fear is generally about something happening in the future.
Love is generally about something happening right now.

We don’t get giddy about the fact we might love someone/something, someday, or might experience love someday/somewhere.
We rarely get afraid about what is happening at the exact moment we are living in. It’s usually anticipatory.

So, once again, there is basically living in at some point, somewhere place of mind or a right here, right now place of mind..

Fear… or love…

All of this is sooo easy to write/talk about. It’s sooo hard to live.

Mediation, mediation, meditation. It’s where it’s at.

the only heaven.

If hell is living in the past and the future, then heaven is being fully present in the moment.

It’s also the only real gauge of true success: not money, not fame, not likes, not kudos, not even passion.

It was successful if we were fully present.

The irony in all of this is that many religious people spend their lives in guilt and regret for the past - or trying to forgive it - in anticipation of the future - when things will be great - and thus, living in hell, and completely missing the possibility of heaven.

This is, just to repeat, what I believe Jesus and the rest of the liberated crew always said and always says.

the only other hell.

Hell is also living in the future.

If you read yesterday’s post it was all about the past. For me, that somehow makes more sense. The future involves good planning, scheduling, vision, etc… but it’s still the same hell. It doesn’t exist either.

Hell is living in the future. The good things we want to do. The bad things we don’t want to do. It doesn’t matter. We can’t live there. It’s hell to try.

Yes, we can hope for it, think about it, even plan a bit. But we can’t live there.

Side note: living in the future is mostly where anxiety and worry come from. It’s rarely about the present.

There is a reason Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is now. There is a reason the mystics across every religion (or lack thereof) constantly encourage living in the present moment.

The next time you’re tempted to go and live in the future, it might be exactly that: a temptation.

And if there is an afterlife, it’s really going to suck for people who want to continually live in some kind of future.

I had a friend say it this way: if we’re living in the future or the past, we’re dead because neither of those things exist. We’re walking zombies. It’s that whole alive vs living thing. Life is only now.

(Read Insipid. It talks more about this.)

the only hell.

It’s no secret that I can be fairly jealous. Still, hear me out.

Hell is living in the past.

For a jealous person that can make sense. Yeah, it’s hell to keep going back.

But that’s not all jealousy is and that’s certainly not all the past is.

Like I said, hear me out.

Hell is living in the past. The good we want to live again. (we’ve been watching old home movies and there is a huge part of me that wants to go back in many ways and appreciate it more.) The bad we may want to redo. It doesn’t matter. We can’t live there. It’s hell to try.

Yes, we can learn from it.

Yes, we can appreciate it.

Yes, we can be grateful.

Yes, we should go to therapy if we need to in order to not live there.

Because we can’t.

There is a reason Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is now. There is a reason the mystics across every religion (or lack thereof) constantly encourage living in the present moment.

The next time you’re tempted to go and live in the past, it might be exactly that: a temptation.

And if there is an afterlife, it’s really going to suck for people who want to continually live in some kind of past.

(Read Insipid. It talks more about this.)

magic...

“I don’t believe in magic fairies and gold dust. Life isn’t like that.”

“That sunset was pure magic.”

“There are no magic fixes. There is no magic pill.”

“You and I are magic.”

“It’s time to put away your magical thoughts. Magic doesn’t exist.”

So… what does magic mean again?

the muse.

Since Sunday, the stories about Kobe keep coming - and I’m so grateful and sad and just torn up about the whole thing. Jason Witten (tight end for the Dallas Cowboys) recounting what he learned from Kobe - which was apparently his mantra - was “you can’t cheat the muse”. Kobe was known for his hard work, dedication, discipline, unrelenting competitive spirt and insistence on excellence and it’s all captured in that “you can’t cheat the muse” saying.

You can cheat yourself, your coach, your boss, your partner, your ego, but you can’t cheat the muse.

What is the muse?

Well, I go to Pressfield for that - which may not be what Kobe was thinking but I like it for myself.

“The Muse,” as I imagine her, is the collective identity of the nine goddesses, sisters, daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne (Memory), whose charge it is to inspire artists. Other names for this mysterious force might be the Unconscious, the Self, the Quantum Soup. Whatever it is, it represents the unseen dimension of Potentiality that is either within us or beyond us. It’s where ideas come from.

We can’t cheat the unseen dimension of potentially that is either within us or beyond us. We just can’t.

Shit, that’s good.

maybe it's this...

Okay I won’t keep talking about Pharisees vs Jesus but like I already said, this kind of stuff gets in my head pretty easily and I really want some kind of “grasp” on it.

Which I think I got while falling asleep last night.

Jesus judged “Pharisees” - not “Steve”, “Debbie,”, or “Justin”. It was a group, a system, a structure, a way of doing things.

The Pharisees judged Jesus, that woman caught in adultery, this tax collector,

I’m long past reading the Bible very literally (when I read it) so my take is this:

It’s much better to judge systems and structures and religions, rather than the people they make.

More empathy to individuals and more judgement for systems.

Tear down the systems, build up the human.

I can live with that.

(Comments are on now - sorry about that.)

Jesus vs Pharisees

The reason I asked the question yesterday was because it’s really important. Very important. If it can’t be answered, or even if it can, it not only excuses but encourages the judging kind of attitude that lots of us don’t like - even if we do it - in religious people.

So… why wasn’t Jesus a bit of a Pharisee? Or was he? And what the hell does it mean for followers of Jesus to “be perfect like Jesus”? Does that mean followers of Jesus have a holy book mandate to be a little bit of a Pharisee themselves and to judge people as long as they are judging the “right” people? I mean that would justify much of what is done (in their own heads) in the name of Jesus by many of his followers - which doesn’t make it right or wrong but damn, it makes it complicated when your holy teacher does the very thing you aren’t supposed to do - which means you can do it to certain people and are, actually, supposed to as long as it’s the right certain people. Which is complicated.

Which really got me thinking about the differences between Jesus and Pharisees because stuff like this bugs the hell out of me.

Here’s where I’m at. (Staying within the reason and world of most Christians - i.e. not just assuming it’s all made up or Jesus was a fraud, etc…)

1. Both judged people. So… judging is not as bad as it’s made out to be.

2. Pharisees judged people for not being “holy” enough or “good” or “in” or whatever label.

3. Jesus judged people for burdening others, for being hypocrites, fake, and for number 2 above.

4. Apparently, if you’re going to judge people, it’s better to go for no. 3 but not no. 2.

5. No. 3 and No. 2 are diametrically opposed and yet tied together and very subjective. Jesus and Pharisees tied “holy”, “good”, “burden”, and “hypocrite” to different things which justified them both even if for different reasons.

6. The evangelical feels they have every right to judge the pro-abortion person for being a hypocrite and evil and a burden on society.

7. The post-christian feels they have every right to judge the no. 6 evangelical for the same reasons.

8. We’re kinda screwed here.

So I might end it this way.

Making someone feel as though they don't measure up is risky business. It’s best to limit it to people who make others feel as though they don’t measure up. Which of course is an endless cycle that doesn’t get anyone anywhere because then we’re always judging on whether someone is making someone feel as though they don’t measure up and then making sure they know they don’t measure up we’re now the person making someone feel as though they don’t measure up.

So… maybe it’s this. Judging is always subjective. Always has been and always will be. If we’re going to do that, just know that. Jesus did it and knew it, Pharisees did it and knew it. Don’t use either group to justify or condemn anything.

I don’t know if that’s very satisfactory to me, to be honest. I’ll keep thinking. Thoughts?

An honest question...

From a conversation I recently had with my brother.

When Jesus said don’t judge, and then went on to judge - in very harsh words - the Pharisees, what, if anything, made him different than being a Pharisee himself?

the light and the dark.

THE DARKNESS IS FAR MORE CLEVER THAN THE EVIL WE’VE BEEN SOLD…
BECAUSE
THE LIGHT IS FAR MORE INSPIRING THAN THE LIES WE’VE BEEN TOLD.

I’ve been thinking on this… If the light isn’t very bright, we don’t need a darkness that is very bright either. It’s a little similar to what Brené Brown says in regards to emotions - we can’t just avoid negative emotions - we avoid them all or none of them. They go hand in hand. We don’t get to cherry pick.

I think our views of light and dark are similar.

So we shouldn’t  be afraid to believe in a real smart, real clever, real conniving darkness… one that is probably in our head, manipulating us, right now, even if we think it isn’t… it only means that the light is that much more inspiring, unifying, mysterious, present, and beautiful… and we have a fun journey ahead trying to see it, taste it, find it, and feel it through the shadows trying to mask it.

(Note: Most devils are pretty stupid and most gods are pretty uninspiring. which only affirms in some weird loop the original problem and seems to point to the fact that there is probably some kind of real clever darkness and… thus some kind of big cover-up going on because the light is way bigger than we even thought it could be… and… we’re back into to the loop of the original sentence… : )

Also this is the foundation of Insipid. I hope you read it if you haven’t already. www.insipidbook.com