revenge

Joseph might be one of the greatest of the ancient stories. the thing I love about it how creative and, kind, revenge can be.

Let’s be real, Joseph was cool to his shithead brothers who sold him into slavery. And little did they know he would be accused of going full Jerry Falwell Jr. pool boy (OM if you haven’t seen God Forbid - you HAVE TO!) on a dude’s wife which would land him in jail and then he would interpret dreams and…. yeah… it’s quite a story.

But the best part is when he could wipe out his bros and really make them feel real bad for being assholes, he didn’t.

But, even better, he still came up with a really elaborate plan to hoodwink these dudes and really make them suffer for a bit. I mean he was still full of grace and love but also full of creativity and, you know, drawing this thing out a bit.

So… in the end, I think that’s why we love it. It shows a different way between full out “gonna kill you motherfucker” and “doormat” which is “definitely going to put some effort into getting you scared but still going to love you and be kind in the end.

Beautiful.

babel

Diversity of plants, thoughts, species, viewpoints, ideas, culture, and, of course, language (which sometimes is the catalyst for many of the things just listed) is one of the most important foundational elements of the universe.

Don’t forget that.

Don’t fight it.

flood

The flood. Noah’s ark. Good lord, what a shit show. I mean seriously that story is off the carts ridiculous - more than any other.

Which proves one big thing:

First, though, every religion wants its own story about its own god and will copy others to make it so. This flood story has been around the block so let’s not get too excited.

But, most importantly, the flood story proves…

The, off-the-charts, amazing, sometimes ludicrous and desperate measures some modern religious people will go to make ancient stories literal. There’s a museum dedicated to Noah’s Ark for fuck’s sake. People visit this place. We know people that have.

Are you kidding me?

1. How did all of the animals traverse the distance? Think about a grizzly bear traversing down to… Mesopotamia? And a polar bear? And were saber tooth tigers alive?

2. Let’s say they made it. How did these animals (that survive on each other) not kill each other?

3. Let’s say they didn’t kill each other? How did they eat? All the different foods they would need?

4. Let’s say they were fed. How did they manage cold/hot/humid…. all the environments the would need.

5. Let’s say there was a miracle… how about the animals with lifespans way less than 40 days?

6. Let’s say they did survive. Some might say… well…. there didn’t need to be that many species because all the others came from those foundational species? Like evolution? In under 10,000 years?

7. My god, this is fucking absolutely nuts to literally believe. And yet… so many do…

Alright, so ignore that for a second. More importantly, what’s the story saying?

Nature is wild. It does sometimes create massive floods and mass extinctions. And yet, as crazy as nature is, life is more wild. It always survives. Damn.

And then there’s this lesson: sometimes the biggest mistake someone can make in life is laughing at someone for what you think is the biggest mistake of their life.

cain and abel.

This story is mostly known for its line of “am I my brother’s keeper?” which is kind of a bad ass line to throw back at “GOD”.

Hey, where’s your bro?

What’s it’s to you GOD, am I supposed to take care of this bastard?

Okay, but the bigger point of this story: these two dudes are making sacrifices to God (problem #1 ) and God looks at Abel’s sacrifice as a better one.

Let’s pause here. How does anyone know that “God” appreciates that sacrifice more? Did God come down and say hey, this sacrifice is bad ass and yours kinda sucks.

Nah… you got Abel talking all kinds of shit to his brother about how awesome his sacrifice is compared to Cain’s. Dude you’re bringing wheat… hahahaha what a loser…. I’m bringing fat from my sheep and it’s way better than your stupid veggies.

Side note: it’s like a keto dude telling the vegan how stupid he is.

So, what’s this story about? Stop bragging to humans about how great you think you are and how much better you think are you with your sacrifices to gods. It gives them a good reason to want to take you down because you sound like an asshole.

Cain kills his bro. And he’s real sad about it. And God says nobody better touch this dude or the vengeance will be 7 times greater. In essence, listen you’re never justified to kill someone but also your brother was an asshole bragging about how much better he thought he was than you and also people please stop killing people altogether.

So, this: don’t think you have this god/mystery/religious stuff figured out. Don't brag about how you do. You don’t and instead of helping the world it only makes it worse.

three big creation ideas

Hearing Bono talk about Psalms the other day, made me miss the Bible in a way. Yeah shocking. Truly. But after leaving Christianity and general religion, I feel like there is some freedom to approach the stories like I would any story and that can be, I say can be, kinda fun.

So, if you ask me, the creation story teaches us 3 things.

1. There’s something universal in the DNA of our reality that the human species needs another humans. It doesn’t work without relationship.

2. There’s something universal in the DNA of our reality that seeking knowledge is really really dangerous and can destroy us.

3. There’s something universal in the DNA of our reality that hiding our vulnerabilities and shame instead of opening up to other humans with it, and acknowledging it’s okay that we don’t know to other humans, is also very destructive.

spiritual is...

I recently watched Jonah Hills’” Stutz about his therapist which made me do some research on his therapist and find a nugget on how he defined spirituality.

It was something along the lines of trying to interact and understand the very real, but invisible forces in the world.

I really do love that.

In the beginning...

There’s two choices that we each have. Pretty difficult at this point to prove either one so I guess it’s just a matter of choice.

1. There was noting before there was something. This means that before the universe was “born” there was nothing. How something can be born into nothing or how nothing could actually exist or how nothing could become enough for something are all Ideas that will break our head.

2. There was something before there was something as we know it. I don’t know what this something was - a creator, a programmer, an aritifical intelligence or a god but there was something. If there was something that something is bigger or outside all the somethign’s we know and that too will break our head.

Those really are the only two choices.

I’m personally still with #2. It just breaks my head less. But it leads to two more choices.

1. The thing is evil. If the thing is evil, or just wants power and/or worship and/or has an ego - which let’s be real, if this thing is powerful enough to create all the somethings that we know, than there is a decent possibility it is evil, than it could create a religion that makes a bunch of people who think they know everything and make everyone else suffer just to feed its own ego and manipulate a bunch of people to make themselves think they are doing the right thing only to find out they are not. Honestly, if the thing was just a bad king, it is enough to make our head break.

2. The thing is good, or just has some kind of freeing, creative, watching purpose that somehow allows it to not be an asshole even with such power. Or it just simply doesn’t have power, even though it had the power to be outside the universe of things that we know of before this thing we know of existed. This too is enough to make our head hurt.

So, it seems to be all the options are enough to make my head hurt, carry equal mystery, carry equal frustration, carry equal uncertainty and lack of any ability to know and thus… I can choose one that make me best able to handle this mad world.

You?

of course they would.

Just a simple thought experiment again. (One that’s been done a few times before.)

If a guy showed up claiming we should treat everyone equally, that money is perhaps the most dangerous thing, even more dangerous than power, that violence and guns are never the answer, that immigrants are welcome, that love is more important than anything else - like actually anything else… and that the religious in America are generally egotistically, hypocritical, jack asses… who would want to kill him?

Probably not the liberal atheists. Probably not the Hollywood elite. Probably not even most Democrats.

I would wager most evangelicals would want to.

And it’s crazy that when this guy showed up 2,000 years ago with basically the same message he also added, you’ll know them by what kind of choices they make in their lives… not what kind of god they profess to believe in.

Anyway…

powerless power.

“With great power comes with great responsibility.” It’s one of those rules of nature. It might as well be gravity. It’s an undeniable truth.

But, it’s much more fun to have power without responsibility. But, it’s also hard to deny. So, what I’ve noticed is a tendency to limit the power.

God. The great omnipotent force of the universe. The most powerful being to ever exist.

Yet, I grew up with the thinking “give god credit for the good things but don’t blame god for the bad things”. Well, what kind of all powerful being is that? This being can’t prevent rape, murder, torture, pedophilia, genocide… hell, not even a hurricane?

Okay, so this being isn’t that powerful. And so, it doesn’t have to have that much responsibility for the state of the world.

Trump. The greatest president to ever exist in the greatest country to ever exist.

Yet, all I hear is that Trump can’t be blamed for COVID, for unemployment, for racial injustice, for the unrest in Democratic cities, for much of anything, honestly. This president can’t prevent all the things that he says we should be scared of…. unless he gets more power.

Okay, so this president isn’t that powerful. He needs more power.

And this is the scary thing with both gods and presidents - they will always claim the need for more power, not more responsibility. It’s a rather amazing branding and propaganda job, really. Yes I’m in charge but when I’m in charge other people are really in charge and so I need to continue to be in charge to prevent these other people from being in charge even though they are always in charge…

Well how about this: let’s talk about the power you have, what you’ve done with it, and go from there, before we start handing out more power? Oh, I think there’s some parable about this too.

anger zen.

The proceeding poem is from my second "single" Anger Zen. Volume 2 from my conversations with "the teacher" this one is exclusively about “religion”.

Available on Amazon now! Easy to read. Easy to think on.

Paperback and Kindle. $2.99 and $5.99.

The newly released second "single" from Ryan Miller and "the teacher". Given the racial turmoil and general state of the world, Ryan managed to spend another day with the mysterious "teacher". He took notes on their conversations and tried to soak up as much wisdom as he could. In this second volume of some of their conversations "the teacher" talks through a variety of topics related to religion from "anger" and "guilt" to "sin" and "zen". Each of the 26 chapters is short and concise - perfect for the times - but packed with wisdom, especially needed, it would seem, in 2020. Read them in 20 seconds but think about them for 20 days.Relax and learn with the teacher.

I can't breathe.

I can’t breathe 
The world watched 
This blue take another black life
His knee representing millions more
George, another link in the chain 
Suffocating the breadth of history 
Didn’t even seem to phase the man who swore 
To protect and serve 
But it’s never bothered most of those
Who benefit from these old ways

But all lives matter they say 

I can’t breathe
The ventilator is doing its best
To replace her COVID lungs
Another virus spreading and stealing
Spreading ignorance, stealing unity
No more masks they chant
Because, ironically, they can’t breathe 
At least not like they are used to 
And they have rights you know

But all lives matter they say

I can’t breathe
Were the last words
That slipped from his lips
Hanging from the rope
Clinging to his rainbow flag
And equally colorful heart 
His dad forbade him from using 
Because the Bible does too
He preached the only thing worse
than slavery Is being gay 

But all lives matter they say 

I can’t breathe
Trying to keep the water out
Trying to keep his head up
While the boat sinks
Along with his dreams
On the way to the land of opportunity
That told him he wasn’t welcome 
Because it’s already full of people
Too different and too needy 
And it wants to be great again

But all lives matter it says 

I can’t breathe
She cries from under him
I know there’s a lot to see
But don’t forget about me
Bearing the weight 
of his toxic masculinity
In my bedroom
You like it he lies
and my boardroom
You can’t be CEO he sighs

But all lives matter he says

I can’t breathe
the poor plead
Under the weight of corporate greed 
I myself can’t breathe 
Under the weight of ignorance and pride
And I feel guilty because 
I can 
In privilege and fragility and 
supremacy that I abhor 
And benefit from at the same time

I can’t breathe
It’s Jesus this time
If he’s somehow alive 
he must be living in hell
Constantly begging for life 
while his followers steal it from him again.
Repeatedly killing this poor guy. 
Who probably wonders why
They still don’t listen to anything he ever said
Too busy worshiping the dead 

But don’t worry they pray. 
Dear god show us the way
Jesus come back soon
They plead in the most ironic way

It’s hard to see 
When you have your eyes closed

But all lives matter they say.

This poem appears in the book Anger Zen.

cool vs good

You know how the “bad boy” has historically been the “cool guy” and the “good guy” has generally been the one that the “cool girls” aren’t that interested in?

Movies and shows exaggerate it, of course, but I assume, we’ve all felt it at some time, (especially if you went to High School) the good vs cool polarization and opposite temptations. (And it extends to all kinds of aspects of life.)

I’ll be honest, if I look back on any parts of my past and feel shame or embarrassment or regret, or whatever, it’s usually around not coming off as, or not being, cool. It’s much more rarely about not being good - and the times it was not about being good, it was often about not being cool… (keep reading). I’d say that there’s still more of an emphasis circulating around me of being cool more than being good.

I’ll stop here for a second. But Ryan, you grew up in a world where you were supposed to be a good boy by not doing these things and doing these things. How can you even say that?

Both words are pretty subjective. And I’d say both are pretty dependent on some kind of tribe. And they aren’t diametrically opposed or antithetical to each other: it’s of course possible to be cool and good.

If I had to define them, in really general terms, I’d say cool seems to lean tribal, and good (at its best) seems to lean global and we’d all rather be in a smaller specific tribe than a bigger ambiguous one - they offer more safety.

So, how many of those times when I was told to be a good boy - if I look back - I was actually being told to be a cool boy. Yeah, don’t have sex that’s what good Christian boys do. (Or is it what cool Christian boys do?)

What’s any of this matter? Well, if you’re like me at all (and I know lots of people aren’t) it’s easy to get sucked into the cool vacuum. Buy this, wear this, do this, say this, post this… and of course, the “buy this” is different for every tribe… but the big capitalism tribe is more than fine with the smaller tribes that support it. It’s also easy to sometimes feel “not enough” not because you didn’t do the right thing for humanity but because you didn’t fit in somewhere at some time. It’s easy to be tempted to make sure that doesn’t happen again by being devoted to cool - according to some tribe.

Just to reiterate, get the old stereotypes of both words out of your system. “Cool Christians” might post Bible verses and “Cool Atheists” might post about the danger of religion and good Christians might lead civil rights movements in America and good Atheists might start homeless shelters. The cool versions may still be more accepted by the tribes than the good.

(Side note: interesting that the vast majority of the Christian councils over the centuries have been arguments over theological issues that have nothing to do with morality. In other words, they’ve been tribal “cool” definitions and not “good” definitions, which is probably why so many of them resulted in killing each other.)

Hopefully this makes some sense. Maybe I can say it this way: it’s easy to look to the past, be in the present, and think about the future with the “cool” lens. This can result in a variety of anxieties and stresses. (For me.) It’s harder to look to the past, be in the present, and think about the future with the “good” lens. And maybe it’s because we’ve been inundated with propaganda about cool and not as much about good.

All that to say, I think I need to spend more time on good and less on cool, even if I’m not sure exactly what that really means.

celebrate good friday. don't repeat it.

It’s only Wednesday. This means there’s still time, to change history. Forever. There isn’t much time, but two days will have to do.

Let me be honest. I’m good at sarcasm. I was once a pro at pessimism. It’s entertaining for me to throw out controversial phrases and thoughts, with a little more bite than necessary, even if I do believe in their core message, just to grab attention. I once made a living, literally, as a pastor (early on), out of being negative about the church.

I left all of that for something more along the lines of “better to light a candle than call out the darkness” way of life which I sometimes succeed at…

Lately though, I’ve been tempted to return to my roots, only because so many Christian leaders are making it way too easy for me by saying things like…

• President Donald Trump should launch military strikes on infectious disease research facilities in China.

• the fight against the COVID-19 coronavirus is “child’s play” and that America is really fighting against socialism.

• vaccines will kill more people than all the viruses put together …

• Dr. Anthony Fauci is limited in his perspective by his “narrow medical interests” and should be fired

• ”We still have faith in America and capitalism. We know God is still by our side. We still have faith in our G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time) President Donald J Trump. In Trump we trust. In America we trust. In God we trust.”

And that was all just yesterday. But, again, that’s the easy stuff in our world of extreme polarization and cutting remarks and biases that we now put on patches and wear on our jackets. I think we used to try and get rid of our blinding biases but it seems those days are long gone.

Anyway, my point is this: I actually believe something with every grain of my being. I used to be a pastor. I used to preach these sermons and I used to be friends with these people. Some family members are still part of the tribe. I get it. I really do. That’s why I feel it so strongly.

So, I want to be honest and heartfelt and try to avoid the snide remarks - though I can’t promise anything.

But we don’t have much time on our side so let me get right to it.

I’ve seen President Trump often compared to King Cyrus, the Persian ruler who liberated the Jews from Babylon. I’ve also seen Trump compared to King David. I’ve seen Trump compared to lots of leaders in the Bible. Good leaders, bad leaders, but leaders with a purpose that the writer and speakers of the comparison can rally behind as “God’s chosen leader”.

I mean this with all sincerity. Can I bring up another leader that it’s possible - just entertain the possibility for a second, please - that Trump is more like?

Julius Caesar.

Listen, I was a pastor for about 10 years but I’m not going sit here and pretend to be an expert in Cyrus and or Caesar. But I’ve never believed one needed to be an expert to get the message of the old stories… in fact, that might be one of the messages of the old stories - you don’t need to be an expert. Just a child.

So, if I may.

Caesar reigned over the largest and most powerful empire to ever exist up to that point in history. A booming economy and stock market. A military the world feared. Architecture, infrastructure, marvels, roads, order and peace.

If you’re not following… Rome was the America of the day and Caesar was its ruler.

Now, some will push back here. Whoa, whoa, the Jews were not free to worship their God under Roman rule and we need to be careful of preventing that from happening here. That’s the very thing we’re trying to fight!

Here’s the thing. They were, actually, free to worship. There were some rules, sure, some consolations they had to give up, but they were generally allowed to have their culture, their temple, and their faith… for the most part.

As long as they acknowledged that Caesar was the man, and Rome was their empire.

If you find that repulsive, again, just hear me out for a second: we do both of those things pretty voluntarily in America. No one needs to threaten us with death, we gladly pledge allegiance to our empire and, well… as I’ve already quoted, many Christians think pretty highly enough of Trump, without being forced to call him Lord.

So… if we want comparisons, we should compare Rome to America. (I’m not the first to say this - at all.)

If we need more proof, how about this line from the Jewish religious leaders (read that again - they were Jews and they were allowed to be religious leaders) of the time.

“What are we accomplishing?” they asked. “Here is this man performing many signs. If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away both our temple and our nation.”

So, just to be clear. They had a temple and a nation at the time and they were terrified of losing it. In case it’s not obvious, this is the exact same thing as saying we can’t lose the 10 commandments in our schools and god in our courts today. To some, the “Romans” these days are the “liberal Democrats” but let’s be careful with stretching the story where it shouldn’t go because really everything was working fine.

They had a nation. They had a temple and faith. And they had a powerful leader who was allowing them to have it with peace and prosperity. They had everything they wanted until this new guy came along. Not Caesar, not Rome, some new guy. Who was this guy?

Bernie Sanders?
No… it was Jesus.

Yeah he was the one who was performing many signs and the signs he was performing were somehow different enough that the religious leaders were worried that the Romans were going to be mad. Why would the Romans suddenly be mad? Everything was working great.

The only reason the Romans would be upset was if someone was calling out their beautiful empire… their military, their money, their power, their nationalism (group narcissism) and on and on it goes. And there’s a reason we know this is why they were mad.

This is why we get mad today. In fact, some of you (depending on where you’re at with your religion) got mad just reading that list. Please pay attention to that.

It’s all over the news today. It’s the same exact story. Don’t call out our military. Don’t call out our flag. Don’t call out our economic structure. Hell, there may be miracles but you… just… can’t… say… some… things. We might lose our temple and our nation and we can’t risky that.

(Which by the way, just a side note: what kind of shitty temple and nation can be taken by Rome? Or America? Or Bernie Sanders? I mean if that’s the best temple and nation and “kingdom” that your religion gives you, it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise that not many people are interested anymore. Okay, sorry, I was starting to get sarcastic again.)

Okay, it’s dragging on. Let me wrap this up.

It’s Wednesday.

Friday is two days away. What’s going to happen on Friday? Well, last time, it seems the religious leaders sided with Caesar and they chose to kill Jesus.

Please remember this. Caesar didn’t kill Jesus. Pilate didn’t. The religious people did. The “Christians” in today’s empire.

In case we need a reminder:

“Here is your king,” Pilate said to the Jews.
But they shouted, “Take him away! Take him away! Crucify him!”
“Shall I crucify your king?” Pilate asked.
“We have no king but Caesar,” the chief priests answered.
Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified.

We have no king but Caesar the religious people answered.
And the crowds chanted to crucify him!

Why the hell would religious leaders kill Jesus?

Jesus threatened to take away their nation and their temple. Jesus did? Would Jesus today? Why not?

So, I’m trying to be really kind here. I love all of the things Jesus stood for: he hung out with women who had abortions, porn stars, addicts, criminals, the LGBTQ community, socialists, and all of the other people that I mostly hear condemnation from our modern religious leaders about. And, this is important… he would have hung out with the religious leaders too but they didn’t want to.

The religious chose not to hang out with Jesus because they didn’t like the other people he hung with.

They preferred Caesar as their king because Caesar gave them the nation and temple they actually wanted - because he had the power to - even though this was not the nation and temple Jesus wanted.

Ok, I’ve got to wrap this up.

I don’t know what I think of many of the stories in the Bible anymore. Cyrus? I don’t know. Men shouldn’t cut their hair? Women shouldn’t wear jewelry? There’s some weird stuff in there. But when I pull way back from these stories, I mean way back, (like myth-way-back) I see the same stories living out toady. Every year.

Ironically, even as we celebrate them.

We would still choose a daily beating every day over freedom if we are guaranteed food. (Exodus story)
We would still choose a glass of merlot and a nice Ikea couch over justice. (Amos)

We would still choose our nation and our temple over Jesus and we’ll kill him all over again, even as we mourn his death, and wait for him to rise again on Sunday… so we can kill him again next year.

I’m using “we” here to try and be with you. But the truth is I don’t include myself in the “we” anymore. See, I’m choosing love and grace and kindness and compassion and, yes, even science this year over Caesar. I’m not chanting out “we have no king but Caesar” with you.

I can’t. I haven’t been able to for a long time. I’ve found much better kings.

And honestly, the more you chant it out, the further away from you I want to be, which makes me sad. And, again, sometimes I react to sadness with satire and sarcasm but this year I want to try something else.

Will you take a look at the Jesus you’re about to kill? I mean seriously take a look at him, compared to America and Trump and Caesar and Rome? I mean, honestly, try to tear off those bias badges and, this Good Friday, actually try not to live the story?

I promise to really think too. I mean it. I’ve got plenty of my own disdain for the past, and bias, and misguided perceptions, and anger, and fear, and sadness that often mask the mystery and life and liberation that (I think) Jesus came to show off - if we could get rid of all that other stuff.

This is my true and sincere hope for America and it’s Christians: Instead of burying Jesus, again, maybe try burying the Good Friday story you keep living every year, instead?

You’ve got two days to think about it.

(Feel free to share using the icons below.)

christianity is the big attachment.

According to Anthony de Mello, attachments are “an emotional state of clinging caused by the belief that without some particular thing or person you can not be happy.” (If you haven't heard of Anthony DeMello, google him right now, listen to whatever you can and buy one of his books (The Way to Love or Awareness) and then come back here.)

In other words, attachments are the belief that without something or some person, we can’t have what we really want: happiness.

de Mello, though, says that we are already happy. We can not attain happiness because we can not attain something we already have, it’s just that our mind is constantly creating unhappiness through its attachments. This follows most of good mystical teaching - we are good, the divine is here, we are free, we are light, etc… it’s not that there is something to find, it’s that there are things to unload to reveal the true state of ourselves and reality. Which is good. We don’t get to good, it is good (Julian of Norwich), and we have to unload the shit that hides it. (Also a great definition of sin.)

Side note: this is also the basis of meditation. Note your thoughts and feelings and let them go, coming back to the breath. We are not our thoughts and feelings and they are only distractions. You get it.

So, back to those attachments. They are the belief that without something we can’t be happy. Of course, the irony is that this belief causes us to not have the very thing that we are trying to get.

de Mello talks about two aspects to attachments: the positive and the negative. The positive is “the flash of pleasure and excitement - the thrill” - that comes when we get what we are attached to. Oh my god, I just got a thousand dollars! The negative is the sense of threat and tension that always accompanies the attachment. Oh shit what if I lose the money, don’t spend it correctly, someone takes it, or if I never make more money, or if…

These both, assume, that we actually get the attachment. Not getting the attachment of course has its own problems - we still want the thing that makes us happy and we can’t get it.

So to summarize. We’re already happy. But we have brains (and programming) that convince us that we need something to make us what we already are. We spend our lives desperate to get it/them and then if/when we do, it provides a temporary flash of pleasure and then the fear we will lose it…. not to mention that we usually have more than 1 of these - so just getting 1 isn’t enough. We need all kinds of them.

Struggle, fear, anxiety, unhappiness… all emerge from attachments.

So… how do we find true happiness? We drop the attachments. As de Mello says, again, “If you learn to enjoy the scent of a thousand flowers you will not cling to one or suffer when you can not get it. If you have a thousand favorite dishes the loss of one will go unnoticed and leave you happiness unimpaired. But it is precisely your attachments that prevent you from developing a wider and more varied taste for things and people.”

Now let’s bring this back around to Christianity… religion in general… but because I grew up in Christianity I can more safely talk about that one.

Christianity is the thing that blatantly says you can’t be happy without it. Not in this life or the next. Feel free to sub in Jesus and/or God and/or ““salvation” or whatever other words, but at its base, it says you can’t have the thing you are looking for until you get this thing or person or unless you walk with this thing or person. Now, as soon as you get this thing or person - assuming we can - we are instantly afraid of losing it. Oh crap, what if I piss off God? What if I lose Jesus? What if I don’t believe the right things? What if I don’t go to church?

We are also threatened by anyone or anything that might take our attachment and so like the man in the concentration camp who has just found food - another great de Mello example - he shoves the food in with one hand while holding out his other hand to prevent anyone from stealing his food. The image of most Christians - right? (especially evangelicals)

It makes so many things clear. If your god is an attachment then one will spend their whole life trying to find god, and when they do find god, will be terrified of losing god. Of course, most Christians don't talk this way blatantly but it’s in all the more subtle language… once saved always saved sounds good on paper but when “being saved” means acquiring something… well… you can always lose something that you’ve had to acquire, and thus, life becomes the fear and anxiety of losing it (careful of wrong belief) or someone taking it (careful of the world, the other religions, the enemy…) and it’s all such small thinking. One single flower.

Alright… so here’s where we’re at. We’re already happy. But, our mind tricks us (and has been programmed from years of propaganda) to make us believe we’re not but that we will be if we can get that thing or person. Unfortunately, this is the greatest trick the devil (or darkness or evil) ever played (it’s not convincing the world he/she doesn’t exist).

The greatest trick that darkness has ever pulled is convincing a bunch of people with 20/20 vision that they will never see unless they put on a blindfold and calling that blindfold Christianity.

So how do we find happiness? We drop attachments. We drop Christianity. As someone who has, let me tell you there’s a whole world of sight and freedom on the other side (along with more attachments but at least a big one is gone.)

When people continue to pull stats out about the “nones” - the nonreligious but spirtual - I get stoked. These are people who have dropped at least one major attachment.

All this to say. If you have family or friends who are still attached it helps to explain a lot of their behavior in regards to their faith. If you want to find freedom drop the Christianity thing. You’ll find Jesus and the other mystics with you.

And, most importantly, this is never some kind of brag thing - that’s the whole point in the beginning. We’re all the same, with all we need, it’s just that some of us have unloaded a bit more of the shit than others… help someone unload today… or you know… what’s that line… my burden is light (and always light)?

For more thoughts on the greatest trick the devil ever played read Insipid.

only love and fear.

So, if there is only love and fear - as Anthony deMello claims… i.e. all things boil down to it.

The crazy thing about that is this:

Fear is generally about something happening in the future.
Love is generally about something happening right now.

We don’t get giddy about the fact we might love someone/something, someday, or might experience love someday/somewhere.
We rarely get afraid about what is happening at the exact moment we are living in. It’s usually anticipatory.

So, once again, there is basically living in at some point, somewhere place of mind or a right here, right now place of mind..

Fear… or love…

All of this is sooo easy to write/talk about. It’s sooo hard to live.

Mediation, mediation, meditation. It’s where it’s at.

the only heaven.

If hell is living in the past and the future, then heaven is being fully present in the moment.

It’s also the only real gauge of true success: not money, not fame, not likes, not kudos, not even passion.

It was successful if we were fully present.

The irony in all of this is that many religious people spend their lives in guilt and regret for the past - or trying to forgive it - in anticipation of the future - when things will be great - and thus, living in hell, and completely missing the possibility of heaven.

This is, just to repeat, what I believe Jesus and the rest of the liberated crew always said and always says.

the only other hell.

Hell is also living in the future.

If you read yesterday’s post it was all about the past. For me, that somehow makes more sense. The future involves good planning, scheduling, vision, etc… but it’s still the same hell. It doesn’t exist either.

Hell is living in the future. The good things we want to do. The bad things we don’t want to do. It doesn’t matter. We can’t live there. It’s hell to try.

Yes, we can hope for it, think about it, even plan a bit. But we can’t live there.

Side note: living in the future is mostly where anxiety and worry come from. It’s rarely about the present.

There is a reason Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is now. There is a reason the mystics across every religion (or lack thereof) constantly encourage living in the present moment.

The next time you’re tempted to go and live in the future, it might be exactly that: a temptation.

And if there is an afterlife, it’s really going to suck for people who want to continually live in some kind of future.

I had a friend say it this way: if we’re living in the future or the past, we’re dead because neither of those things exist. We’re walking zombies. It’s that whole alive vs living thing. Life is only now.

(Read Insipid. It talks more about this.)

the only hell.

It’s no secret that I can be fairly jealous. Still, hear me out.

Hell is living in the past.

For a jealous person that can make sense. Yeah, it’s hell to keep going back.

But that’s not all jealousy is and that’s certainly not all the past is.

Like I said, hear me out.

Hell is living in the past. The good we want to live again. (we’ve been watching old home movies and there is a huge part of me that wants to go back in many ways and appreciate it more.) The bad we may want to redo. It doesn’t matter. We can’t live there. It’s hell to try.

Yes, we can learn from it.

Yes, we can appreciate it.

Yes, we can be grateful.

Yes, we should go to therapy if we need to in order to not live there.

Because we can’t.

There is a reason Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is now. There is a reason the mystics across every religion (or lack thereof) constantly encourage living in the present moment.

The next time you’re tempted to go and live in the past, it might be exactly that: a temptation.

And if there is an afterlife, it’s really going to suck for people who want to continually live in some kind of past.

(Read Insipid. It talks more about this.)

maybe it's this...

Okay I won’t keep talking about Pharisees vs Jesus but like I already said, this kind of stuff gets in my head pretty easily and I really want some kind of “grasp” on it.

Which I think I got while falling asleep last night.

Jesus judged “Pharisees” - not “Steve”, “Debbie,”, or “Justin”. It was a group, a system, a structure, a way of doing things.

The Pharisees judged Jesus, that woman caught in adultery, this tax collector,

I’m long past reading the Bible very literally (when I read it) so my take is this:

It’s much better to judge systems and structures and religions, rather than the people they make.

More empathy to individuals and more judgement for systems.

Tear down the systems, build up the human.

I can live with that.

(Comments are on now - sorry about that.)

Jesus vs Pharisees

The reason I asked the question yesterday was because it’s really important. Very important. If it can’t be answered, or even if it can, it not only excuses but encourages the judging kind of attitude that lots of us don’t like - even if we do it - in religious people.

So… why wasn’t Jesus a bit of a Pharisee? Or was he? And what the hell does it mean for followers of Jesus to “be perfect like Jesus”? Does that mean followers of Jesus have a holy book mandate to be a little bit of a Pharisee themselves and to judge people as long as they are judging the “right” people? I mean that would justify much of what is done (in their own heads) in the name of Jesus by many of his followers - which doesn’t make it right or wrong but damn, it makes it complicated when your holy teacher does the very thing you aren’t supposed to do - which means you can do it to certain people and are, actually, supposed to as long as it’s the right certain people. Which is complicated.

Which really got me thinking about the differences between Jesus and Pharisees because stuff like this bugs the hell out of me.

Here’s where I’m at. (Staying within the reason and world of most Christians - i.e. not just assuming it’s all made up or Jesus was a fraud, etc…)

1. Both judged people. So… judging is not as bad as it’s made out to be.

2. Pharisees judged people for not being “holy” enough or “good” or “in” or whatever label.

3. Jesus judged people for burdening others, for being hypocrites, fake, and for number 2 above.

4. Apparently, if you’re going to judge people, it’s better to go for no. 3 but not no. 2.

5. No. 3 and No. 2 are diametrically opposed and yet tied together and very subjective. Jesus and Pharisees tied “holy”, “good”, “burden”, and “hypocrite” to different things which justified them both even if for different reasons.

6. The evangelical feels they have every right to judge the pro-abortion person for being a hypocrite and evil and a burden on society.

7. The post-christian feels they have every right to judge the no. 6 evangelical for the same reasons.

8. We’re kinda screwed here.

So I might end it this way.

Making someone feel as though they don't measure up is risky business. It’s best to limit it to people who make others feel as though they don’t measure up. Which of course is an endless cycle that doesn’t get anyone anywhere because then we’re always judging on whether someone is making someone feel as though they don’t measure up and then making sure they know they don’t measure up we’re now the person making someone feel as though they don’t measure up.

So… maybe it’s this. Judging is always subjective. Always has been and always will be. If we’re going to do that, just know that. Jesus did it and knew it, Pharisees did it and knew it. Don’t use either group to justify or condemn anything.

I don’t know if that’s very satisfactory to me, to be honest. I’ll keep thinking. Thoughts?