one week in...

I'm one week in to a new schedule and routine. A few things... and don't worry I won't be giving weekly updates. 

1. The first day I didn't let myself look at social media or email until 11, I was amazed. I didn't want to open my email at 11 because I knew what was there and I loved how the day had been up to that point. Honestly, email/social media are the ultimate creativity/routine/efficiency killers. We all know it but it's amazing to see first-hand how often my instinct is to go to email or a business social media account not when I'm necessarily bored but out of a habit and sense of "working" when doing either. 

2. Meditation is not magic. It's hard. It's a pain. It's work. Like everything worth doing. 

3. I've forgotten how many amazing books I've read over the years. I have a friend who reads a book three or four times before moving on to the next. That is not me. I like to check off books. Boom, read it. It's good for me, a week in, to slow it down and remember what I've read and give it an even better chance of becoming part of me. 

the best.

Can be dangerous. If it's not the best then we don't do it. Liz Gilbert says perfectionism is fear dressed in high heels.  The new can be that.

So here's another way to think about it: very good. 

In the beginning it was very good. Being consistently very good often works better than shooting for the best... or nothing. 

silverware.

I was invited up to Camp Spalding to share a few of my own thoughts on how to read the Bible to some youth leaders on retreat there. To help make the Bible more exciting. To help them get out of the ruts of reading it a certain way. 

Maybe one of my favorite metaphors, for now, comes from Childish Gambino.

His lyric: "Yeah you got some silverware but really, are you eating though?"

Silverware without food is pretty useless, as is the Bible without spiritual experience. 

It was a great time, talking about silverware. And actual food.  

breath.

One thing has struck me lately in regards to breath and it's the seamless transition between controlling it and not controlling it. 

It's so simple and yet, pretty amazing. 

I can decide to interrupt a natural breath that I had no idea was happening mili-seconds earlier and then control it. I can hold it. I can make it stronger. I can make it quicker. Then I can let it go and without me even thinking about it, it continues to function on it its own, again. 

My life depends on breath. So it happens. But it's willing to let me control it at any moment, for any moment.  

What a powerful, graceful, humble metaphor. The Hebrews - and many other cultures - equate breath with the Divine. It's easy to see why. 

grateful? amidst this?

Houston is trying to recover. 

One of the largest hurricanes ever recorded is headed toward Miami and has already wreaked havoc in the Caribbean. 

The West is on fire - almost 1.5 million acres. We've had hazardous air conditions in Spokane for the entire week from fires in Montana, Canada, and Washington. 

North Korea. 

Blatant and terrifying instances of racism. 

It goes on and on... 

How do we ignore this? We definitely don't. 

UC Davis Professor Robert Emmons has been studying gratitude for over a decade. In one study with his colleagues Michael McCullough and Jo-Ann Tsang, they found that grateful people do not seem to ignore or deny the negative aspects of life; they simply choose to appreciate what is positive as well: “People with a strong disposition toward gratitude have the capacity to be empathic and to take the perspective of others. They are rated as more generous and more helpful by people in their social networks.”

We definitely need more grateful people. 

So list 5 things today. And keep repeating them to yourself. 

practice and exercise.

You start talking about sports with anyone - even those who don't care or play sports - and they always get it.

You can be born talented, but you still have to practice. Practice isn't fun. Practice is hard work. You have to exercise. When exercising one never arrives... but we get better. Each time. It too is work. But all of it is work that pays off. 

Sure he or she is a talented athlete but they've got to practice and exercise because it is a practice and an exercise. 

We get it. 

Yoga is somewhat a sport but it's also done a good job of using the words. We get it in those conversations too. 

Then we come to words like Compassion. Love. Prayer. Spirituality. Forgiveness. 

Where did the magic spells come from when it comes to these ideas? We say some words, read some words, sing a song, and we're suddenly spiritual? Seriously? Or forgiven? Or able to forgive? Or more loving? More compassionate? 

Practice. Exercise. One of the worst things we did - mostly in the West - was start believing they don't apply to everything in life, including the more blatantly "spiritual" things. 

stick to.

We hear it often. 

Hey athlete/performer/pastor/_____ stick to sports/entertainment/theology/______. 

Colin Kaepernick, an NFL quarterback, has been derided over the last year and a half for sticking his head into injustice and not sticking to sports. (If you don't know the story, you should. No teams will hire him for his kneeling of the flag during the anthem last year. Now more players are doing it... it's a long, story, worth diving into...)

For now...

JJ Watt, a NFL defensive lineman, recently raised almost 20 million dollars for Houston (after the hurricane) and many now want to name a highway after him. He didn't really stick to football but it's the opposite reaction. 

So, yes, hey ____ stick to ____ means hey ____ stick to things I agree with in life. 

Of course, all of this is ridiculous. What are sports and entertainment and theology if they aren't something more than sports, entertainment and theology? That's why we love them... They teach us about life, impact us, move us, help us to become better humans. 

Stick to justice. For all. 
Stick to compassion. For all. 
Stick to kindness. For all.
Stick to humility. For all. 
Stick to generosity. For all. 
Stick to love. For all. 

a new routine

I usually don't like to announce things (like diets or social media fasts) the day I start them, because, well, it's easy to announce something. Hard to actually follow through. 

But, there is a bit of public support in announcing something (a wedding) and maybe I think I need it. Or maybe, you can be encouraged to bring some of this into your life. 

So, today, for the rest of the year, I'm trying a little different routine. A few small rules.

1. Meditation every day. I'm tired of reading about people who meditate every day and continuing to ignore the obvious advice to do it myself. I have been meditating daily for over three weeks now, so I do think I can continue this one. 

2. I won't be checking email before 11:00am every day - even amidst the height of busy season for our companies. No social media before then either (although I don't really do much social media anymore...) Spend the mornings with more creativity and less stress. 

3. I won't be reading any new books. I can finish the book I'm currently reading and I can look through highlights of old books - but no new books from today until the end of the year. I'd rather absorb some of what I've already read than bring in new information right now.  

There are a few other smaller items I'll be integrating into my life but those are the big ones. Hold me to it. Join along if you want. Or wait for the results of my own experiment - I'm sure I'll have plenty. 

speaking of job recommendations...

There was another question on the referral... "In terms of skills, what would be some of the applicant's weaknesses?" 

I realized, once again, that this is often a pride question. Oh wow, he/she thinks he/she knows everything in regards to ________ and that's a definite weakness. 

But, when you meet someone who acknowledges their weakness, their limits, their areas where they need to learn more... can it really be called a weakness at that point? 

If you know you don't know something...

If you know you aren't good at something... 

If you know there is more to learn... 

How is that ever a weakness? 

It's not. It's a strength. 

So... the greatest weakness is the false belief that you don't have any weaknesses. All other weaknesses... are strengths and don't really exist. 

Once again, this would be a helpful lesson for religions. 

is it still criticism?

I recently filled out a job reference for someone. 

"How does the candidate accept constructive criticism?" 

It's interesting to think about in terms of some people. Criticism would be the last word I would ever use because they welcome feedback so much. They want to know what went wrong and how to do it better and, in such cases, can it even be called criticism?  

Which got me thinking... most criticism is our problem, not theirs. It's our resistance to hearing anything that might correct us. If we got rid of that resistance, well... it's not criticism, it's just something to listen to - and pay attention to, or not. No reason to make it more dramatic than it is, and start calling it criticism from a critic. 

let me cancel.

I got the Seattle Times digital on a great trial - $1 for a month. Last night, since my month was up, I went to the site to cancel. 

Turns out you have to call on the phone to cancel. Turns out they weren't there. 

So, I called the next afternoon. I waited on the phone for a couple of minutes before someone talked to me. After they got my information I was transferred to an "account specialist" who tried to convince me to stay on for a great discounted rate. 

I, honestly, love the Seattle Times for a variety of reasons. But, it wasn't worth the full rate. 

I would have paid a discounted rate but after spending 10 minutes to try and cancel it was no longer worth it. 

I told the account specialist this. She offered me more discounts. The problem was, by that point, I wouldn't have taken it for $1/month because I had already had to invest time into canceling that I knew I would have to do again at some future point. 

My point? Let people out. Easily. When you leave the cage door open, people are more likely to stay inside. If you make them spend too many resources to open it, chances are good they will bolt as soon as it's open and not come back inside - no matter the treats you're offering. 

Religion, are you listening? 

equality.

If you've been around me for any length of time, you know I love a few words: enough, evolve, create...

and equality. 

It's honestly become one of my driving "philosophies" in life: equality for all. Equally human, equally divine, equally deserving of equal love and respect and compassion and... enough. 

I try to create toward equality. I hope we're evolving toward equality. You get it...

Last year, after the election, we started Republic of Equal, an apparel company meant to push back a little on much of the negative language out there and push forward on... equality. 

Then we shut it down. It had been a little rushed and we were a little busy. 

Then 2017 came. Then more and more events happened and the negative language seemed to not only be sticking around but getting louder. 

So, we spent about 3 months remodeling Republic of Equal. We tested out a variety of apparel, we tested out designs, with a variety of people, we revamped the website... we evolved. 

I'm proud of what we now have. Sure it's just apparel, but it's apparel with messages that we need in this world. And we give away 50% of profits to a different organization every month fighting inequality in one way or another. 

So, please, check it out. Use the coupon code BLOG20 for 20% off your first purchase. 

Spread the word. Follow us (or tell your friends) via Twitter or Facebook or, any way you'd like. We'll be handing out some freebies to people who do...

And, of course, if you have suggestions, let me know! 

want to see my pony?

True story.

A woman came by our house for a garage sale. After looking around for a bit, she approached my 12 year old daughter and said "I have a pony in my van. Do you want to see it?" 

Seriously? Isn't that the line that we tell our kids to never believe? The line that a) is utterly ridiculous and b) said only by pedophiles. 

"Uh..." I answered while my daughter was remembering the speeches she had heard about never going to a stranger's mini-van. Especially a stranger offering to show you a pony. 

"Oh," the woman answered. "That probably does sound pretty strange, huh?" 

Actually....

"Well, c'mon, I"ll show you. It's right there." 

Sure enough, she slid open her van door and there was a pony eating some hay. A miniature horse standing on top of a tarp that had replaced the seats. "He just had surgery so he's a little dazed right now." 

Aren't we all...

Guess what? Sometimes... there is a pony in the van.

Be careful what you don't believe.
Be even more careful about telling people what they should and shouldn't believe.  
Be even more careful about calling people stupid, foolish, ignorant, naive, or just plain wrong. 

reason 107.

Yet another reason that I no longer have time to defend Christianity as it is known in the United States today: The Nashville Statement. 

You can read about it here. You can read the statement here. 

In short, at a time when there is blatant racism in this country, at a time when this country is banning refugees who are fleeing persecution and suffering, at a time when government is approving and condoning violence as a solution to problems, at a time when our greed is consuming us from the inside out, at a time when Houston is drowning, the Christians decide to put out a statement condemning homosexuality, gay marriage, sex before marriage, and a host of other sexual sins. 

It's not that I even disagree with most of their "affirm" and "deny" statements (which I do). It's just the blatancy of their out of touch-ness with culture, with the times, with spirituality (in my opinion) and, even, with their own Holy Book, that I'm so happy to further remove myself from that tribe every day. 

In keeping with their 14 statements, I have my own...

I AFFIRM love and enough and worth and equality... and The Divine. 

I DENY anything that isn't, including, apparently, "evangelical Christianity" as represented by many of its leaders. 

two choices.

"You can have quickest or you can have best solution, but not both." 

Dalai Lama. 

He's talking in terms of mental health and negative emotions but doesn't that apply to - and simplify - just about everything? 

Quickest or best? Where's your energy going? 

let me tell you something...

José was his name. I asked for a whiskey ginger and then changed my mind mid-way. "Just make it a whiskey." 

He grabbed a new glass and I said "Oh, you can just put it in that glass." It was the glass already filled with ice. I was trying to be easy.  

He gave me a look and said with a thick accent. "When I drink alcohol, I like to drink it the way I want to drink it. You know what I mean? Do you want the ice or not?" 

I smiled. "You're right... neat please." 

He looked at me before pouring. "Let me tell you something." There was a pause. I waited. "Always remember to please yourself."

I nodded.

"Are you going to please the world?" 

"Well," I returned. "If you try to please the world, you please no one." 

"Exactly," he smiled. "So you always remember to please yourself. And if you please yourself, you might end up being able to please someone else. But if you try to please the world, you will please no one." 

He handed me my whiskey. 

"Cheers." I raised my glass to him. "Thank you José." 

"Enjoy it, my friend." 

people.

You can't have power, fame, or any type of control without people. Money, without people to spend it on, impress, or create things to purchase, is worthless.  

It's amazing how any of us ever pursue money, power, and fame and leave the only thing that makes those things matter - people - in the dust.  

Pursue people. Period. The rest will happen the way it should. 

(Or just, "Seek first the...) 

to me at 20.

I've been reading Tools of Titans - a book I can't recommend enough. 

Tim Ferriss asks a lot of the people he interviews a simple question: what would you tell your younger self if you could go back in time. It got me thinking. What would I tell my younger self. I found an answer. 

Don't worry and don't wait.

a better metric.

I've been running for about five years. I kept track of times for a while and then went a more "meditative" route and ditched any phones, watches or timing. 

I didn't get a second faster for that entire time. 

I recently started timing myself again and in the last few weeks have shaved about 45 seconds per mile off of my run times. 

What's this all about? Way more than running. 

What are your metrics? For life? For blogging? For writing? For business? For relationships? 

I've had many couples tell me that "they want God more in their relationship". I usually ask how they are going to measure that, or know if it's happening and they can't tell me. That's not a good way to improve anything.

So, what are your metrics? There are easy ones: faster times, more money, more followers, more sales. There are more difficult ones. But, whatever they are, we have to have a metric. 

And keep in mind it's very difficult to have multiple metrics. I think this is why Jesus warned of money - it's hard to keep track of others areas of success when money is all we're measuring. 

Once you have your metric - and one you believe in - how are you measuring it? I've been meditating for two weeks now. My metric is remaining more calm while I drive. I can measure it. I'm paying attention. Just by paying attention, I'm also more aware of success and failure.  

Once you start measuring, measure more. Look at it. Is it improving? Celebrate? Is it not? How can it, incrementally, today? The more you pay attention, the more, most research says, you will put in effort. 

You see this everywhere.

If you want followers, you can get them. Especially if you're constantly paying attention. You probably won't change the world, but you'll have followers. 

If you want seats in the pews, you can get them. Especially if you're paying attention. You probably won't impact many lives, but you'll have seats. 

If you want to become a better writer, you can. You may not have a million followers, but you'll have less spelling errors and more creative succinct thoughts. 

Make it a good metric. Make sure you have a way to measure it and pay attention to the results, because they will be there. 

And then, maybe start thinking about a better metric. 

to the critic. three.

We all have a critical side. We all play the role from time to time. So these are as much to myself (or at least to my ego) as they are to the critics "out there" (although I'm fine if they read these too.)

This week I heard two people who were worried about me for different reasons. I did not hear from the actual people who were worried, but from mutual friends (in both instances) which leads to rule three. 

Rule Three. If you're going to be a critic, own it. Otherwise you're just a coward. (This assumes rules one and two have been met.) 

By "own it" i mean own the hard conversation, the listening, the critique, the tension. What we do more often, and I'm guilty of this myself, is we critique someone to someone else. It's a way of getting to be critical without any kind of confrontation, risk, or potential adversity. It's cowardice and it's fairly worthless. 

As with the two people who were critical of me, what did it get them? Nothing except a little less respect from me. 

(Which I assume is why Trump thinks so little of most of his critics too. Instead of continuing to criticize him, I think it would be far more productive to talk to friends and family members who support him, and, assuming rules one and two, have the much harder and more courageous conversations with them.)