the dip.

My book comes out in a little more than two weeks and I figured it was a good time to write down how I’m feeling. (So when I’m on Oprah I’ll remember.)

Seth Godin calls it The Dip and it’s the time in the valley during any creative process. This isn’t the mountain peak stuff, it’s the opposite kind of stuff. The pit. The time when lots of people quit - which is the good news because it’s the time we can separate ourselves from the imitators - but it’s also the time when we feel like crap - which is the bad news and it makes us feel like an imitator ourself.

These “dips” happen all over the place and I could say I’m in one now. Which is not necessarily a creative dip - the book is done - but more of a fear dip. But, if you think about it, all dips are basically fear-based in one way or another so I figured I would write out my current fears - two weeks from launch - and consider it therapeutic to the whole process.

As to how or why I went from elation to a dip, well as my wife said “It’s getting real. People are about to read this. You’re about to find out.”

Yeah.

It might help you wherever you’re at as well.

Petty Fears
Layout errors. What if a margin is uneven? What if something is off-center?
Textual errors - What if something happened during the endless copy/pastes?
Spelling errors - What if a bad spelling made it past me and two editors?

Ego Fears
What if I actually can’t write even though I think I can? What if I’m the kid on American Idol who is the only one in the room who doesn’t know they can’t sing and thinks everyone else is an idiot?

What if it’s a good book but no one cares? What if what I think important isn’t? What if my stories, my perspectives, and my intuition is just plain boring?

What if the good comments are actually people just being nice? What if the people who say nothing are just following the old rule of “say nothing if you can’t say anything nice…”

Deep Fears
What if I wasted years of time, lots of dollars, and heaps of energy… for nothing of substance?

What if I don’t even know what substance is? What if I’m distracted by success under the guise of meaning?

What if my base motivations in life are pretty vain and/or empty?

Yeah, once you start going down the list of fears things can get pretty hairy, pretty fast. But, like all fears, they are usually based on “what if”?

So… since we’re playing a what if game?

What if this is the greatest thing I’ve ever created and it will change the world?

And that’s fear’s game isn’t it? Even typing that line feels inauthentic, arrogant, and almost crazy so I default to the more “normal” fears that seem more acceptable because they don't say “Who do you think you are?”.

Which is so strange in itself, isn’t it? Fear only lets you ask certain what if’s and feel reasonable about it, even if they aren’t.

So, no matter where you’re at in the creative process… screw the “reasonable” “acceptable” what if’s and start living for the more “wild” and “revolutionary” ones.

Of course, they may not come true either but what if life is just more fun creating stuff with wild dreams swimming in our heads?

sheetrock stories.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had the pleasure of taping and mudding drywall but if you haven’t it goes a little something like this, after you’ve hung the sheetrock on the studs, taped the seams, and filled the big gaps with mud.

Wait for it to dry. Sand it. Add more mud. Wait for it to dry. Sand it with a more fine sander. Add more. Wait. Sand.

You get the idea. It’s a little monotonous and tedious and boring and it reminded me a ton of the final stages of editing a book.

You add, wait, and then remove. Add a little more, wait a little more, remove with a finer filter. Add. You get the idea.

And that all had me thinking of all the similarities of building a wall and building a book.

1. The studs/frame/main idea start everything.

2. The sheetrock/big chunks/acts have to hang on that frame. Often requires some cutting.

3. Filling those gaps and getting it to all flow together requires lots of waiting, and mud (dirt).

4. Editing it all to be smooth really takes a lot more patience and work. Lots of adding and taking.

5. A little texture often hides the perfect work and the work that wasn’t quite perfect.

Which made me want to write down a few things for my next creative endeavor.

1. Frame it right. It’ll save a lot of work later.

2. Don’t stress too much with the big ideas on that frame. There’s lot of time to smooth out the transitions and gaps and holes.

3. But it takes a lot of time and work. Don’t rush this time of the project. It might be the most important.

4. But don’t take too much time on the fine-tuning either. Really good is better than perfect. One exists and the other doesn’t.

5. The texture/perspective/interpretation people bring to the work is going to either frustrate you or free you to not spend time on things that aren’t important. Choose freedom.

the prophets.

The ancestors must be laughing: How could we have forgotten so easily that prophets like Lamar and Tupac arise in every generation?

When Richard Rohr (a Catholic priest in his 70's) calls Tupac and Kendrick Lamar prophets, you know there is good stuff happening in the world. 

Y

Maybe the most important letter in the English alphabet. 

It ends one of the most important words: why. And starts another of the most important: you. 

Together they form one of the most important questions: why you? 

In other words, why do you.... 

believe that?
do that?
think that?
see that?
feel that?
send that?
bring that?
pay that?
support that?
resist that?

Why you?

Not them. Not what. Not her. Not when. Not him. Not who. 

Why. You?

If we can honestly answer that a way we're happy with, we're rolling.

Honestly, if we can just think about that for a half-second, we're rolling.  

one plane at a time.

Life ever feel like this? 

Pay attention to the wise words of an air traffic controller. "One plane at a time. One plane at a time." 

Does your life ever feel like this? 

Pay attention to the calm of Tammie Jo Shults, who landed that plane with nerves of steady steel. 

And this is why I continue to love aviation - it's inspiring.

The world can always use a little more "one plane at a time" and calm in the face of engine failure... 

gun-shy

The term is generally used to define someone who, because of a hard experience, is markedly afraid or nervous to go back into a similar situation. The terms originates from sporting dogs, who can no longer do their job, spooked at some point from a loud noise. 

We live in a culture inundated with loud noises and guns and the guns I'm talking about here are the guns of stress, of critics, of fear, of on and on it goes... and they are booming and they are hurtful and they send all kinds of people cowering instead of chasing and hunting for the thing that brings them joy. (That job, that passion, that relationship, that...)

But, here's the thing, the world needs you chasing and hunting! We know you've been spooked, we know it's hard, but don't give into a world that wants more loud noise and less chasers. Keep on searching, finding, retrieving, and returning with the gift. 

The way we bring a gun-shy dog back around is to start with smaller noises, keeping them far away, and slowly raise the levels. We have to build the confidence again, we have to do fun things, and be full of positive reinforcement: a "slow and steady rehab program". 

So, no stress. Start small. Go small, but go. Keep risking, keep standing out, keep hunting, keep searching, keep resisting, keep being vulnerable, keep sharing, and get used to those loud noises. They are everywhere, all the time, and, sure, they can be a reason to cower, or they can be a sign of something good on the horizon. 

freeway life.

There are lots of saying related to the past is a memory and the future is a plan... and that it's only the present that exists. 

So true. 

But, there is another side of those sayings that can be a little frustrating... because the past matters quite a bit, actually, it's created the present, and the future matters quite a bit, it's determining the path we're on. 

I prefer the freeway metaphor. 

Rearview mirror glances are good - especially when changing lanes. You don't want to be surprised by something coming back that you've already passed, or didn't see from the past, especially when making a change. 

Generally, we looked forward on the freeway though. Keeping our eyes ahead, on where we are going... not so that we focus on the future but so we can be present at each moment on the road. 

Stare in the rear-view mirror, we'll get in a wreck. Never look, wreck. Stare too far ahead, and we'll get in a wreck. Never try to predict what's next, wreck. 

Lots of options for wrecks but we've got the freeway down pretty well. So, if we can bring that glance to the past, that focus on the future, and that attention to now into life, well, it seems like we might be on to something. 

two months.

Two months from today I'll be at The Bing. Speaking, creating, carrying out a really cool - I think - experience. 

When I'm not sweating and fighting my desire to run away, I'm really excited about it. 

I'd love for you to take a look at lightslikeus.com. As blog readers, not only do I hope you're there on May 3 but I hope you'll bring some friends because the more, definitely, the merrier. 

Also, I gave a shoutout to Aaron McHugh a while back and I'll give him another... I got to sit in his bus and have an interview last weekend and the podcast is up! Give it a listen (iTunes link) if you like. Aaron is a cool dude, living a good life, doing pretty amazing things, and it was awesome to hang with him. I think you'll like the interview and the podcast. 

everyone and no one.

Besides the fact that they don't exist... think how cool if they did. You could be the first one to ever do that? Whoa. 

You don't need everyone. You'll never have no one. 

You just need enough. 

will we?

Will we ever run out of new music? 
Or new recipes?

Ever?

Math says it's possible. 

But, it's our answer that matters more. 

open it.

My wife and I were out to eat. Since we had been shopping, I really had to go to the bathroom. I, of course, excused myself and walked down the short hallway in the back of the restaurant to the bathroom. And, horror of horrors, the door was closed.

I really had to go.

I waited, in pain, practically, jumping up and down as though that would help. Waiting, waiting, waiting... what were they doing in there?!? 

Finally, I couldn't take it any longer and knocked on the door. No answer. I reached for the handle and twisted... and the door opened. No one was there. 

Have you ever noticed how one dirty dish in the sink tends to attract others? Well, of course we think, the dishwasher is full. So, we'll just put them in the sink. Finally, someone bothers to open it and finds that it's empty, waiting for dirty dishes. 

There are some sayings around "closed doors" and "waiting for open doors" but I don't think there are enough sayings telling us to "Open the damn door - it's not locked and it's not full. It's waiting for us to try it!"

art.

The great thing about art is that you can interpret it in lots of ways, you can agree or disagree with it, you can try to seek context, you can learn about the creator, you can dismiss it, you can emotionally react to it - in good and bad ways - and it can alter your life or it can not. (Hint: the Bible is art.) 

With all that said, Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan made this piece of art in 2016 and it's on display in the Guggenheim. It's called "America". 

React as you will. 

excellence.

We often hear something along the lines of "if you're going to do something, do it with excellence." 

I completely get the sentiment. 

Problem is, for someone like me, I like to do all kinds of things. And sometimes I wonder if doing all kinds of things, prevents me from doing one thing excellently. 

In a recent conversation with someone about this, I have a new statement. 

Live with excellence. Sometimes that means doing a lot of things pretty good. But, don't do one thing excellently if doing that makes your life pretty good.

tariffs.

Given that the United States just imposed tariffs on solar panels and washing machines, it brings up an interesting point: what are the equivalent tariffs for people who are beating me in my market place? Or just my life? What about that man/woman who just seems to work more efficiently and produce more creative work than I do? Or who has it together more than me? Can I impose some kind of fee on her/him so that my work will have a chance? Can I impose a fee of negativity that they have to battle more against, to help myself? 

No.

But we sure do our best. Breaking down other's reputations, trying to erode trust, encouraging more "questions" about what they do, so everything they do - and attempt and produce, costs them a little more. 

That's just wasted energy. 

Instead keep failing, keep working, keep testing, keep improving, keep trying to change the world, and keep being content with doing good work that only you can do.

We don't more tariffs. We do need more good work. 

hard to believe.

I just watched The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo because my wife read the book and because it's filmed in Sweden and, well, we needed some Sweden. It's a pretty dark movie but there is a great line in it: It’s hard to believe that the fear of offending can be stronger than the fear of pain.

Of course there is the obvious fear of offending your grandparents by swearing at the dinner table but there is also the fear of telling someone no, of letting someone down, of breaking with the expected and ritualistic - when you know you are supposed to. 

preference.

Would you prefer to be a protégé, a prodigal, or a prodigy?

A protégé is guided by a person who is more skilled than the average. 
A prodigal is reckless - but learns - and ends up more aware than the average.   
A prodigy is gifted beyond the average. 

Each of them brings us somewhere above average but by very different means... 

Instruction. 
Failure. 
Talent. 

The good news is we probably don't need to choose. In fact, if you're lucky, you have all 3 in your life. 

the known and unknown.

I recently read something along the lines of "It's not the fear of the unknown, it's the fear of losing the known."

And I couldn't agree more. 

But, there is another side to it that we can use to our advantage. Instead of losing the known being a sad thing, how about losing the known being an incredibly happy thing? Especially if the known is not working. 

As we look at our lives, it's easy to see things we know. It's almost as easy to find things that we know are not working. 

Not, how about getting rid of those and seeing where it all takes us? 

it's already happening.

You are failing.
People don't like what you are doing. 
Other people are critical of you.
It's not safe. 
You're risking a lot. 
You're missing out. 
You're making wrong decisions. 
You're missing opportunities. 
It's going wrong. 
You're losing money you could have had. 
You're letting someone down. 

Now, since those are all already happening, what are you afraid of again?  

You don't need to fear. You just need to make sure the who and what and why above are what you want them to be. 

bottom of the 9th.

I'm not a huge baseball fan but there were some great baseball games in the World Series (congrats Astros). There's not much that can compare to that bottom-of-the-9th feeling that good baseball can produce. 

Where things, with one pitch, can go this way or that way and both ways are drastically different. Someone will be ecstatic and someone else will be devastated with one pitch. 

And, honestly, it feels a lot like life. Those moments where this decision, this call, this reaction, this interaction, this next moment, feels like it has the potential to go either way and those ways are drastically different. 

And fear can seize the day.

But, you still have to pitch the ball. You still have to try to hit it. And you have to remember that there is often another game. Or another season. So, you might as well try to enjoy the edge. 

tove lo.

I watched Tove Lo open for Coldplay. She's "big". She's "famous". She's a "successful artist".  She has four songs with over 250,000,000 plays on Spotify. She's got it. 

And yet, at the Coldplay concert, no one cared. Half the seats were empty for her set. Very few people were singing along. She might as well have been someone just getting their start because, most of the people were there to see Coldplay. 

Don't get too discouraged if no one is singing along and half the seats are empty. We can always get better, sure. But, you just might not be in front of your audience.