i know nothing and that is exciting!

If you've just found Cleaning Church Toilets, you might want to start at the beginning by clicking here. You can read this like a book by clicking the left arrow for a new chapter, all the way to this one, the last post in this book/blog/bloog experiment. Enjoy! 

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I just posted thousands of words about where I’m at. My thoughts and opinions and lessons. One one hand this seems pretty arrogant:  here are my thoughts everyone. Listen. 

On the other hand, I realize I really know nothing. There is so much new out there. 

Nw science, new theories, new ideas, new perspectives, new interpretations, new species, new universes, new books, new people, and new experiences. 

I have an adrenaline rush thinking about them. 

I’m not afraid of not knowing. I hope you aren’t either. If you are, ask yourself why. Is the thing you’re holding on to that fragile? Do you have to hold on to it that tightly because it’s so threatened by everything out there? 

If so, how is that anything close to the creative power of the universe? 

Too many people have honestly decided that they know all there is to learn. They wouldn’t say it but they act it. If you bring a new way to look at the Bible and/or Hell and/or atonement and/or Jesus and/or the divine… and/or climate change, and/or atheism, and/or gun control…  they know it all. 

I don’t. 

I’m grateful for what I’ve learned, grateful that it will probably change, and excited for the journey in discovering more of this amazing thing called life. (And I look forward to continue blogging about it!)

I hope you are too because we all need to keep learning, talking, evolving, admitting, and adapting in order to keep swimming, including you.

This ends this little experiment of a blog and a book. I'll continue to blog daily and... I'm working on another project too. And I'm more excited about this project, than any project I've ever done. 

So, keep swimming... into the more and the new! 

the mystics.

I have a friend who grew up in Fallujah, Iraq. He has lived in the United States for a little more than six months. 

The other day I asked him if he knew about Sufism. He said he had heard of it. 

“Heard of it?” I responded. What? That’s it? Have you heard of Rumi?” We looked up Rumi and he pronounced his name in Arabic - it sounded cool. 

I continued, “Rumi was the man! He was an Islamic scholar and theologian. Sufis are the Islamic mystics. How can you not know about them?” 

My friend said, “Why do you know so much about these mystics?” 

I told him I was one. He asked if Christians had mystics and I said yes. He said what is a mystic? 

This whole problem is not just an Islamic problem. It’s Christian, Jewish and all faiths. 

I think part of the reason many struggle with Christianity is because they don’t believe in the Christian religion anymore. Many would, and do, believe in Christian mysticism. 

This all makes for some conflicts in language and thought. 

But, I think I’m in good hands. I don’t think Jesus was a fan of religion either. I think he was a mystic. Crazy how different it makes the gospels if you think of Jesus as a mystic. They make so much more sense. 

So what are mystics? Well all kinds of things but maybe the best definition I’ve heard is from a Jewish mystic, Rabbi Kushner: “A mystic is anyone who has the gnawing suspicion that the apparent discord, brokenness, contradictions, and discontinuities that assault us every day might conceal a hidden unity.”

They value experience over belief. 

Knowledge and experience matters more than logic and belief. 

We’re all connected matters more than we’re all individuals. 

Peace matters more than violence. 

God is everywhere in every thing. Every is a key word.

If you don’t get love of God, than it’s not worth going anywhere else. Love. Love. Love. 

You can see a sunset, you can understand a sunset, and you can actually be present in a sunset. Yeah that last one. 

Mystery matters. Paradox too. Not understanding is understanding. Awareness. 

Now. It’s all that matters. The past is a memory and the future is imagination. This is where God lives. Right now. 

If I imagine a bunch of religious people in a room, they are arguing. 

If I imagine a bunch of mystics in a room (no matter what religious language or culture they come from) I imagine them talking about experiences and where they’ve seen God and where God is in each of them. 

Christianity is my language and culture and ritual to get me to what matters: experiencing God.     

Others have different language that can help. 

Some might say, again, where is Jesus in that? I would answer, again, everywhere. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life... and Jesus got something beyond religion and encouraged others to do the same. 

But, the road is narrow. The mystic road has been narrow for centuries in every faith. Just ask my friend from Iraq. And most Christians. And most Jews. But the narrow road is the best at evolving. Or the evolving road. The seeking, knocking, asking road, unafraid of questions. 

Others are now saying mysticism is becoming more accessible than ever before. Diana Butler Bass uses the metaphor of the mystics storming the elevator shaft to Heaven (and tearing it down because that elevator shaft is a primitive view of the universe with God up there and us down here.) And I agree. Good things are happening. A spiritual revolution - or evolution - of sorts. 

Some names? I would call all of these people mystics, I don’t know if they would call themselves that. But read books and listen to these people.  

Anthony DeMello
Thomas Merton
Richard Rohr
Peter Rollins
Gregory Boyle
Alan Watts
Elizabeth Gilbert
Rob Bell
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Cynthia Bourgeault
Paul Coutinho
Jean-Pierre de Caussade
Pema Chodron
Russel Brand
Brené Brown

again.

Almost every week, I have these thoughts in some order or another… if you do as well, know you’re not alone. 

I think I’m going to quit. 
Someone else can do this job. 
I love this job. 
People are crazy. 
People are awesome. 
Let’s move to another country. 
I can’t believe I get to do this. 

This sermon is going to kick ass. 
Oh man, what am I going to say? 
I have nothing to say. 
This is not a sermon. 
How am I going to come up with that many things to say? 
These are just friends you’re talking to. No pressure. 
I hope everyone is here for this Sunday because it will be the best ever. 

That was the best sermon ever. 
That sermon was terrible. 
Why did I say that? 
I wonder if they heard that?
Did you hear that? 
Should I go and change the recording before it posts? 
Well next week I can be better. 
How can I be better than that?

worlds in worlds.

I assume you’ve heard of Gerek Meinhardt? 

How about Matt Pierce? 

Maybe Taylor Cummings? 

Interestingly enough, all three of these people were or are ranked number one in the world. 

Greek Meinhardt is a two-time Olympian and was the first U.S. foil fencer to earn the Number 1 World Ranking in 2014. 

Matt Pierce is the North American Champion and competed in the Catan World Championships for North America in 2014. Yes, the board game Settlers of Catan. 

Taylor Cummings won the Tewaaraton Award as the best woman’s lacrosse player in the United States. It’s the Heisman of Lacrosse. She was also the first sophomore to win the award. 

It’s amazing the worlds there are in the world. 

Running. Swimming. Biking. Chess. Jazz. Band. Choir. Debate. Investment. Drama. Dancing. 

The list goes on and on. There are rankings, there are training, there are camps, there are competitions, there are ways to get higher up the ladder. 

I meet the most interesting people who are doing some of the most amazing things who never get recognized for anything outside of their world because they aren’t in one of the worlds that matter to the larger world. 

It’s taught me to approach everyone with humility, curiosity, creativity, and the ability to listen… as I never know who I’m talking to. I may have no idea - and they may have no idea - how great we are.  

yep, save the planet.

If the world was an apartment building, I’m afraid there would be some really bad roommates and many of them would be Christians. 

Worse, they would say that God made the apartment building for us to do whatever we want with and we’re moving out in a few years so who cares… 

Worse, they would deny claims of science and responsibility because they are afraid of the cost of a little time, a little effort, a little comfort, and a little - or a lot - of money. 

Throw out all the theories and politics. The God I believe in, loves the Earth, dwells in the Earth, cares for the Earth and expects the human beings living on it and because of it, to feel the same way. 

The Earth does not belong to any of us. It belongs to all of us. When we don’t live to make this home better, we’re giving a giant middle finger to the divine power in it. 

Yes, I will type that again. If you don’t care about making this home better for the humans that live in it, you are giving a giant middle finger to the divine power of it.

plastic brains.

The brain is always changing. (Yes, one more thing to add to the list of things that is always changing - and to which religion and faith should proudly add its name.) 

The brain is growing, shrinking, and reacting to what you’re feeding it. This is one of the reasons that people are a tad worried about technology. It changes our brain and when many individuals’ brains change, society’s collective brain changes. 

That is a bit worrying, if I’m honest.  

But, this is not always bad. Before the printing press, people generally had a better ability to memorize. They had to. When humans didn’t have to memorize, humans could start putting brain power into other arenas. So less memorization but more technological advances.  

I wanted to give my sermons without notes. Not memorize per se, but just get up there and be present. In the same way, a good actor can actually start to act when they don’t have to memorize their lines anymore, I think a good speaker can speak when they don’t have to look at notes and when those notes have embedded in their consciousness. 

It was really hard at first. I gave myself little notes and cues and cheats. 

Years later, after giving up notes entirely, it’s amazing how easy it now is to memorize messages. And I don’t say that proudly, I say it amazed at how well my brain has evolved. My brain has actually changed and is now better at certain tasks. 

Pretty remarkable. 

Yes, the brain can fade fast. 

But, it can also do what you want it to do fast. 

There was a pretty large study done on eight Buddhist monks who had spent an average of 34,000 hours in mental training or meditation that found their brains were even more plastic, or more capable of change and resiliency. 

Meditation also helps.

it can be that good.

Sometimes we get too smart for ourselves. 

I've heard people say that since we humans want there to be something for us after we die, somewhere great, it would make sense that we would make that up and thus, it can’t be true, because that would just be too much like something we would want to be true.

I don’t know if heaven exists or not. I do know that just because I want it to and it seems like a great idea, is a terrible reason to believe it doesn’t. 

The same could be said for everyone on this planet having a decent life. Well, of course that can’t exist - that would be too good. It must be unrealistic. 

Just because there are these seemingly unattainable dreams, doesn’t mean we’re all fooling ourselves. It could mean we’re all being drawn to something more good.

stop. again.

Those people who were enslaved by a system of production and making bricks… Day after day? As they continued to make bricks, the quotas became larger. As quotas always do. 

As they continued making bricks and not reaching their quotas, they were called lazy. As we always are by a system that demands production. 

As soon as they were led into freedom they were given a list of words that were meant, in my opinion, to guide them to the discovery of the true gifts of the world. (Some calls these the 10 commandments - which is a terrible way to talk about these words.) 

Regardless, one of those words was, basically, “stop”.

Can you imagine how that felt? 

Stop making bricks. 
Stop listening to people who demand more. 
Stop listening to people who call you lazy. 

Let your brain stop. 

You’re okay. 

Of the massive list of things that the church is generally concerned with, stopping is rarely one of them. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s not even on the top 100 list. 

And yet, if we’re talking about sin in terms of what hides the divine nature of ourselves, not stopping is one of the biggest obstacles. At least according to the Bible. 

Walter Brueggemann talks about “Sabbath” as an active resistant to the systems of greed. 

I don’t know about you, but the systems of greed in this world drive me crazy and I don’t know what to do about them. 

Stop is a good start. 

Without stopping, there is no rhythm... or music... it’s all just more noise. 

When we stop we acknowledge the world will go on without us. Just fine. 

When we stop we realize we’re enough. We don’t have to do more. 

The Sabbath, which began as a day dedicated to stopping - because how else do we ever remember to -  began at sunset. I believe the idea behind it was that you would wake up and see that you’ve been doing nothing and the world is still going. Everyone doesn’t need you all the time. 

This past week I canceled three events in a row. It was incredibly difficult. I felt guilty. I felt as though I was letting people down. I felt as though Pharaoh was calling me lazy and that I was not producing my quota of bricks. 

And then I felt incredibly refreshed. I could think again. I could hear the whispers of the world and of the divine. 

I recently read that 42 percent of Americans feel guilty for relaxing.

There is still a Divine power leading us to a place of freedom and breath and refreshment... of stopping. The force has always been leading captives to freedom. 

bricks.

Let’s get back to Pharaoh for a second. 

Imagine a little scenario, if you will. 

You are living in Egypt as a Hebrew slave. You go to work every day to make bricks. Good-bye honey, off to make some bricks. Love you. 

Day after day. 

But, of course, some things change. 

Honey! I quit making bricks for those idiots. I’m now making bricks at a better spot. You should see these bricks. I mean they are so much nicer. And we cut them a little bit differently. It’s a much smoother cut. I think these bricks are going to be used on the new pyramid we are building! The really nice one! 

Oh, honey, I’m so proud of you. Do they beat you there? 

Oh, yeah, of course. But much less! Most people only get a few lashings! 

Day after day. 

But, of course, some things change. 

Honey, tough day at work. Things aren’t going well. They’ve raised the quotas. I’m going to be staying later. More work to do. These new bricks are really in high demand and Pharaoh wants more of them. He’s also informed everyone that he’s found us lazy. Apparently, he’s not been happy. It means later nights. 

I’m so sorry, honey. But, hey, at least we have meat and stew to eat for dinner! 

I know! You’re right! It’s so true.  I mean what’s our other option? Go wander around a desert and eat dew off the ground? Can you imagine how much we would miss that stew? It’s definitely worth it. Besides, this is legacy stuff. These pyramids will be around forever... and I was a part of it. 

Day after day. 

Now, thank goodness, none of us live this story today. No one would be so stupid as to trap themselves into certainty and paychecks and abuse in order to earn a living and pay the bills. 

I was going through this scenario with a friend and he looked at me and said “My girlfriend and I have been living in sin.” 

At first, I thought it was a little strange that he was going to tell me about his sex life but then he continued... “It’s what I do every day. Bye honey. Love you. Off to make bricks.” 

Some thoughts: 

If I were to sum up the entire Bible, I might say it’s a story of a God who doesn’t want people making bricks. And it’s not about freeing people so that they can then enslave other people - no it’s about no one making bricks under the tyrannical rule of power and certainty and comfort. 

All are mean masters. 

It’s about being free. 

Jesus shows up on the scene and his followers basically say, “Hey who are we going to force to make bricks for us now?” And Jesus answers, “No one, you idiots. Are you still not getting this? No one is making bricks!"

I came to set the captives free. 

If we can be bold with God about anything - and I do think there are certain instances where we are to ask and know that God will give us - it is about being free. No, it’s not about getting a new car or a parking spot. It is about being freed from making bricks. 

God doesn’t want anyone making bricks. Period. When you pray, if you pray, demand God get you out of brick-making and prevent you from forcing others to make them. 

Don’t be fooled. There are some very rich people making more bricks than some very poor people. It’s got little to do with dollar bills and more to do with addiction to the things that dollar bills provide. That’s why we don’t like the desert where those things are suddenly taken. And yet, that’s where we learn everything. 

Heroes go into the desert because they are tired of making bricks. 

One last word: the capitalistic beatings of America are tearing up our skin as bad as any of Pharaoh’s whips. Don't’ be fooled. Many of us are working to build monuments to power, to abuse, and to the elite. Arguably, at least Pharaoh was open about it and not hiding it under the less insulting names of free market individualistic pursuit of happiness. 

not working.

There is a huge difference in quitting because something is work and in quitting because something is not working. 

There is a huge difference in not quitting when something is work and in not quitting when something is not working. 

There are costs to both, but they are not the same costs. One will give you life and one will kill you. Sometimes literally. 

Some of the most inspiring stories are stories of people who work tremendously hard to make something happen. To make that dream come true. To write. To speak. To teach. To travel. To be a comedian. To get on stage. To travel to Mars. Their stories are always the same... filled with work. 

The other half of the most inspiring stories are stories of people who quit because they recognize they are prolonging someone else’s dream and putting effort and hours into something that simply doesn’t work. A teacher who quit to tend bar. A lawyer who quit to open a Yoga studio. An engineer who became a nudist. A neurologist who quit and opened a restaurant. Their stories are always the same... ending work. 

There is a massive difference in being afraid of work and being afraid of work that doesn’t work.

There are many voices, many who will benefit greatly from us working on a job that doesn’t work, who will tell us to keep working. Make sure it’s working.

lgbtq.

You are valuable, your are worthy, you are beautiful, you are powerful. You are love. There is nothing more that needs to be done or can be done to make the authentic you any more of those things. 

Believe it. Accept it. Have faith in it.

I do realize the church has not made it easy to believe, accept or have faith. For that, I hope you reject the church that has done that to you and not the light that shines inside of you, right now, just as you are.

marriage is...

…fading. Most of the statistics seem to point to less and less people getting married, which is a big worry for some. And that make sense. 

…The most amazing relationship that two people can have together, in my opinion. I absolutely love being married. Which is why I’m all for more people getting married. Gay, straight or anything else. If there is fidelity, freedom, commitment and love… well I’m all for more of it.

… not the end-all-be-all to make everything-good-with-us-and-God. It’s a consolation. It’s better than not having any marriage in a society, especially a society where women were treated like property so God came up with marriage. Hey, this will make things better. Perfect? No. Better? Hopefully. Is it still? I think? 

… never really modeled all that well, throughout the entire Bible, if you really think about it. Can anyone show me one example of a married couple in the entire Bible that would fit the description of a “good married couple” in today’s Christian society? 

… really really cultural. Someone was recently telling me that they think the United States is going to start having more polygamy. I don’t know if I agree but I do know that one of the wisest people to ever live according to the Bible had hundreds of wives.  (Man, that Bible gets tricky when you want it to be a guide book for human life.) 

… not the most important thing in life. If I’m honest, 90% of the most influential, inspiring, motivating, wise, people in my life were not or are not married. Okay, I don’t know if 90% is accurate but a lot of what has shaped me in my walk with God and life was thought of by someone who wasn’t married. Jesus included. 

... changing. That’s alright. It, like most things, has already changed quite a bit and will probably continue to.

sex.

As a pastor, I am often asked about sex. Ignoring the fact, I find that very strange - very rarely do people ask me to be on a panel about capitalism - it’s a reality of the job that I’ve come to accept. (Actually, I don’t know that I’ve ever even heard of a panel about capitalism.) 

So, admittedly, when the sex topic comes up, I have to check myself from becoming critical or arrogant. It is a thing and I do understand that. It is a powerful thing and I do understand that. I happen to agree with Jessica Valenti that the thing has been made into way too much of a thing by the church, but again, it’s a thing so it is worth talking about. 

Rob Bell, James Cordan and Russel Brand will be the featured speakers in my sex talk summary. 

Rob Bell wrote that “Sex is not the search for something that’s missing. It’s the expression of something that’s been found.” 

James Cordan wrote in Glamour Magazine that “Everything is always about sex but sex is always about something else.”

Russel Brand wrote “We have been told that freedom is the ability to pursue our petty, trivial desires when true freedom is freedom from these petty, trivial desires.”

And boom. 

That’s it. 

It’s never about sex, or pornography, or affairs. Sex is oil on the surface of the water when there is something else happening on the bottom of the ocean a thousand feet away. We see the oil so we try to spend time cleaning it up but there are bigger problems. 

There are no rules as to when to have sex and when not to. That’s just cleaning up surface oil.  

Married people have destructive sex. 
Unmarried people have redemptive sex. 

It’s always the something else. 

Brené Brown even makes the point that pornography is more often about shame than anything else. There is no fear of vulnerability and rejection when looking at pornography - and so it’s appealing. 

Now that’s root of the problem stuff. The something else. The freedom. 

Of course all of this takes time and self-analysis and puts the responsibly on us, so sometimes it’s easier to put together a nice and tidy rule we can or can not follow… and those can be helpful if you don't want to spend the time thinking. But search for the “something else” and you’ll know what to do with the sexuality - and how to be truly free.

pausing.

Can I pitch counselors for a second?  

Counselors are good for everyone. Everyone. People who are in tough spots and people who are in good spots. Everyone can improve. I’ve seen a variety of them and I’m seeing one now. 

Counselors have permission to say it like it is. No one else on this planet does. You think they do, but they don’t. Or the person you are talking to thinks they don’t. 

Counselors get paid to just listen to you and you don’t have to feel guilty for not “asking them how they are doing”… Right? Isn’t that fantastic? You can simply share your story, your views, and they just listen and talk, if you need them to. 

Counselors know what to say. When they do talk, they are able to get right to it because they don’t have to worry about permission and beating around the bush. You’re there to hear it and they get to just say it. And they’ve been trained in what to say. Bonus! 

I often wonder if we called counseling a different name, maybe it would blow up like hot yoga, CrossFit, and mindulfness. Maybe if we kept pitching it as something that keeps you evolving, instead of a mental prescription for a unhealthy mind and spirit, more people would be less afraid of it and likely to start it. 

Have you heard of Pausing?

It’s becoming very popular in LA and New York, and I think it’s really finding some traction. The tradition comes from the East, where it has been practiced for years. Pausing is about finding someone “who listens and talks softly” to encourage humans to stop and think about important things in life with someone of care. People all over are the world are starting to pause and claiming it’s working wonders. 

You should try it.

Some places even practice a form of it on Sunday mornings, I hear.

rob bell.

Speaking of jealousy... let’s call it the Rob Bell phenomenon. I use Rob because a) he’s been incredibly influential to me and b) he’s such a great illustration of how threatened we become with change. 

Some thoughts. 

1. Rob Bell is the single biggest influence of my faith. Poets, Prophets, and Preachers in 2009 changed my life. I had been a pastor for a year at that time and I came back from the event and realizing I had converted to something. I was suddenly overwhelmed at the beauty of trees, overwhelmed that there was good in this world and overwhelmed that my pessimism was fading and becoming replaced by something good and optimistic. The good news was actually getting good and Rob Bell was a conduit of that good news. 

2. People hate Rob Bell. Many use those exact words. People picket. Friends of mine jab at “Christian Celebrity”. Other friends constantly make remarks about where Rob is going or “nervousness”.  

3. C.S. Lewis wrote Hatred has its pleasures it is therefore often the compensation by which a jealous man reimburses himself for the miseries of fear.

People hate/dislike Rob Bell because they are jealous. And afraid. Afraid he might be more popular than them, afraid he might be right, afraid he might sway people away from their own belief which might mean that his belief is more appealing? I don’t know. When you hate, you fear. Whenever you hate or meet someone who hates, ask yourself - or him or her - what you are afraid of.

4. I’m not saying Rob Bell is Jesus. I am saying the way that people respond to him is exactly how people responded to Jesus. Jealousy over the crowds. Anger at the way he uses the scriptures. And fear how he blows up the religious system. Right. Those same Pharisees still hate people who blow up the system and yet, if the system doesn’t evolve, it dies. 

Ironic. The same system the Pharisees are trying to save will definitely die if they succeed in saving it. (Probably why Jesus was always trying to warn them.) 

5. Rob Bell steals from everyone. When you start reading the books that he reads, you realize he’s just stealing stuff from everyone else. Which is awesome. He’s not coming up with this stuff alone and you can steal from them too. And there’s something that has been moving in this faith for a long time… that’s always comforting. This faith has always had narrow roads of growth and life. 

6. Rob Bell is not my friend. I really wanted him to be and really tried to make him my friend. He’s not. That’s cool. I’m finally okay with it. My wife told him how much he has meant to us. I told him the same. That’s all that matters. 

7. Rob Bell just speaks my language. We all have a language we speak and I’m not saying Rob Bell speaks the best or correct language but he does he speak mine. If Rob Bell isn’t the person that speaks your language, please find people that do. 

At the end of the day this has nothing to do with Rob Bell. This has to do with people who best help you to see who you are and what you are capable of. 

Find him/her/them!

if you can't praise them, what are you?

Steph Curry tore up the NBA this season. A few nights after he set the record for 3 pointers and won the game on a ridiculous almost half-court shot. Average joes (not fans) were watching the replays on their iPhones and getting huge grins on their faces. 

In the middle of the Steph Curry show - which it was - there were quite a few ex-NBA players saying things like... 

Never seen anything like SCurry? Remind you of Chris Jackson /Mahamoud Abdul-Rauf, who had a short brilliant run in NBA? 

Phil Jackson said that. Phil Jackson who has coached more championship teams than any other coach. What? 

Oscar Robinson, an NBA legend, Charles Barkey and Walt Frazier all made comments that the game of basketball had changed and Curry, basically, isn’t as great as everyone thinks. 

Compare that to Lebron James who tweeted...

“Never before seen someone likehim in the history of ball!”

And Baron Davis, Rudy Gay, Dwayne Wade who all couldn’t stop gushing about his skills. 

(It's interesting that LeBron James went on to beat Curry in the finals.) 

This, of course, is not just a basketball thing. But it seems like there are two reactions to someone’s success: jealousy and/or negative reactions to the new operating system or simple enjoyment of the evolution of “the game” and the fact that someone is doing what they were made to do and you get to be there for it and learn from it. 

If I’m honest, sometimes it's hard not to be jealous. I spend all this time working on my craft, trying to get better, and here they come...

They’re so luckly.
They aren’t even that good.
It must be easy for them.
If they had to play the way I had to play. 

Just the ego responding to fear. 

So, I ask myself some questions...

If I can’t look at another artists’ work and say it is good, what kind of an artist am I? 
If I can’t read another author and say that is amazing, what kind of an author am I? 
If I can’t listen to another speaker and say wow, what kind of speaker am I?
If I can’t listen to another musician and be overwhelmed, what kind of musician am I? 
If I can’t see another person dance and cheer for them, what kind of dancer am I? 

If I can’t appreciate the people who are honing their craft with more skill and talent than I am, if I can’t be inspired by them, well… critics are everywhere. And they are terrified of their own standings. 

Critics are never the actual artists, authors, speakers, musicians, and dancers because they are too busy taking down the people that are, while believing they could do it better than all of them. Or, at the least, making excuses for their success compared their own. 

If I can’t appreciate a different religion or faith perspective...

she.

These words need to be repeated more often than they are. 

God is as much woman as God is man. 

The feminine is as powerful as the male.

The feminine is as strong as the male. 

The feminine is as full of wisdom as the male. 

The feminine is as capable as the male. 

The feminine is as deserving as the male. 

The feminine is as important as the male in the life of the male and the female. 

The feminine voice needs to be louder, only because it’s still making up for lost time and lost resources.

this really needs to be done by now.

Women can do anything men can do. (I know, I know, we are biologically different. Stop with the excuses.) 

They can preach, teach, lead, elder, deacon, whatever other “leadership” or “power” or “control” label you want to put on the task. They are leaders. They deserve power and control no matter what men think. 

In fact, they can do many of those things better than men. 

In fact, they should also be paid and treated the same as men who do the same job. 

In fact, we are missing out on huge swaths of wisdom and inspiration because we don’t push them to the front as often. 

In fact, God has feminine qualities. The Bible speaks of them all the time including in the very beginning when humans (that’s man and woman) were created in God’s image. The two form God’s image. 

In fact, when we ignore those qualities, it’s easy to focus on intellectual and institutional functions and aspects of the church and ignore the more mystical. 

In fact, still not knowing what to do with women, may be hurting the church more than anything else.

church and community. thoughts.

The church and community are two words that often feel like they are in a bad marriage. They are stuck together and don’t really like each other. I mean they had a good run but things just aren’t really working anymore. 

And it’s not for a lack of trying. There are small groups, community groups, luncheons, breakfasts, retreats, classes, service opportunities, studies, clubs, and functions all throughout the week. There are dedicated “meet someone new times” there are greeters and ushers and all kinds of other people who are supposed to make this community thing happen. 

Of course, because the marriage is supposed to be great, churches will usually act like it is. Everyone here is best friends. We eat together, pray together, walk the neighborhood together, and, sometimes, even sleep together. We do life together. Want to join into our amazing circle of friends? 

If your church is not filled with vibrant community, pastors should lead better, read more books, go to more community conferences, or really challenge the community to start acting more like a community. 

I used to take a lot of the community or lack of community personally as though I had to do more. 

I don’t know anymore. 

Here’s what I’ve learned. 

1. Some people do want community and they can’t get it. These people break my heart. They break it because I want to give them a friend but I can’t. Friends take time and they take two parties. One person wanting a friend can not simply be given a friend. They have to find someone who wants to be a friend.

I equate community to coral. Coral will grow just about anywhere except in empty flowing ocean water. However, put an old ship in the water and, over time, it will start to grow. 

Every church has at least a piece of wire in the ocean. Coral will eventually attach. But there is absolutely nothing the church can do to force coral to attach. Some will build really big shipwrecks, and pump all kinds of nutrients that help coral, but in the end, it still has to grow on its own. 

2. Some people don’t think they want community.

Many people are simply afraid. To make friends you have to vulnerable and risk. Some people don’t want to be vulnerable and/or risk and often for very good reasons. The church’s job is to encourage vulnerability and risk and to be there when it hurts. 

And then let coral grow.  

3. Some people have community and are doing it outside the church. 

Churches love to label everything with their brand. It’s our small group, our Sunday morning, our Bible study. The thing is that many people have all kinds of community in all kinds of places that are not labeled City Church A. We should encourage that and let it be. 

4. Some people need to not talk to a person. 

There are many people who shouldn’t talk to one person on a Sunday morning. They are exhausted. They are tired. They need to rest and breathe and relax and remember they are enough and worthy and loved and life still exists and beats all around them. 

There are many people like this and they are often berated at churches for not building community. Churches need to be berated for putting more burdens on them than they already carry. 

Someone once called our church, church for adults. If you want something you have to go get it. I found this to be an incredible compliment for all the reasons listed above. 

I don’t know where everyone is at on every given Sunday. 

I do know that many people who complain that they can’t find community at a church will never find a church that gives them community. They’ll go on lots of first dates - because first dates always seem hopeful - but they won’t find a lasting relationship with a church until they stop complaining about life not being what they want and start trying to be a different person. 

I do know that some people who don’t need another friend, need to be a friend to someone who does. This is hard and this is sacrifice and it costs. This is not for everyone but it is for some people. They have to figure out if that’s them. 

I do know relationships (and coral) take time. You can’t leave a church of 10 years and say you haven’t found friends like you had at your old church after being at the new church for 6 months. 

I do know people who come into a community with the ability to be slightly vulnerable and to take some risks, embed into that community much faster than people who wait for someone to approach them and offer them a friend. 

I do know that many people who complain that they’ve never been invited to ______’s house, have never invited ______ to their house. 

I do know that life is complicated and busy and full and that whenever I take a moment to connect in a meaningful way to another human being, I’m living more than I was with whatever complicated, busy and full thing I was doing previously. 

fire and gasoline.

If you ever watch a fighter jet take off, you’ll notice a tremendous amount of fire coming out the rear of the airplane. If you think about fire, you’ll remember that fire and gasoline, when combined in the wrong ways, will kill you and everyone close to the combination. 

And yet, when you see this jet, with a huge flame sticking out its back, being fueled by gasoline, we remember, fire and gasoline if separated enough, fuel one of the most powerful hair-raising sights on the planet. 

Church and money.  Wow, I tremble just typing the two words together. 

We have to figure out how to keep the fire away from the gasoline in order that the gasoline can fuel the fire that makes the jet fly. 

Churches are still trying to figure that out. 

Some things our own church has tried to do to keep them separate that sometimes work and sometimes don’t. 

We don’t pass plates. We never have. It’s amazing how many pastors and “church leaders” have told me that we need to pass plates because we “would make more money” and because “it puts pressure on people”. 

We have emptied our bank account three consecutive years and given it away.
We don’t keep a savings account. 
We give money to whomever asks with a need. If we have it, we give it. Period. 

Money is awesome when we use it to fuel the forward movement. We will continue to try and figure out how to do it. 

And if you have ideas as to how, please, please, please speak loudly!