10 years ago...

We've all heard it... usually looking at an old photo. "Wow, I looked so young! I looked so thin. I looked so..." 

10 years from now, you'll look at a photo of you today and say the same thing. So, what's the use of any of it, if all we do is look back 10 years and wish we could go back? Enjoy it today. Enjoy it tomorrow.

It's no good being young, thin, fit, or whatever else, if it's only to complain 10 years later about not being it anymore. 

survival of the fittest...

When thinking of the "fittest" we think of the strongest, the most aggressive, the most violent. And for good reason. Bull Moose, wild Stallions, Komodo Dragons... they are the ones who survive. 

But, there is another kind of "fit".

The creative ones. The ones that can adapt to changing environments. The ones that are not afraid of new, but lean into it. The risky ones. Butcher Birds, Darkling Beetles, Flamingos.. 

They are everywhere, surviving and thriving in all kinds of hidden, harder to find places. 

It's not survival of the strongest. Just the fittest.  

ideas are invitations.

Every idea is an invitation. An invitation to welcome it, to pursue it, to say no to another invitation. 

I have an idea means I have an invitation. It helps to think of that way, as to whether or not we want to, or have time to, accept it. We might already be booked. And, if not, it's important to remember that the idea is only the beginning of the relationship. 

is it the story or the writing?

I've read plenty of good books with amazing stories and average writing. 
I've read plenty of good books with average stories and amazing writing. 

I've read a few great books with an amazing story and amazing writing. 

Your life is a story. You're writing it. 

identity.

Also from Reza Aslan. 

Religion is an identity, not a system of beliefs. 

Just think on that one for a while. It will change a lot. 

new doesn't work that way.

America was once new. (Really, it's still considered to be pretty new.)

White people in the new land called America was once new. There were other people living here first. 

Christianity was new to Judaism. Evangelical Christianity was new to Christianity. The "moral majority" was new to Evangelical Christianity. Most of today's theology is the "new stuff".  

If you're American, White, or Christian (especially Evangelical) or yikes, all three, you don't get to decide when new suddenly ended. It doesn't work that way. Everything about you is new. That's the only way you're here and it's most of what you believe.

If you're no longer on board with new, I'm sorry, but there were others in history that were not on board with you and your ideas when they came into power, and, fortunately and unfortunately, new always, eventually wins. (Sometimes in terrible ways, like stealing a land and killing the people in it.)

So, you can fight it, but you're going to lose. Eventually. 

New is coming. It always does. Maybe instead of fighting it, join it, participate in it, contribute to it, and craft it to be an exciting and better new than the new it's going to be anyway. 

owed trust.

We have to earn trust. I've said it before and it's worth saying again. There's no use speaking to someone who doesn't trust us... they aren't listening. We are wasting our time.

Earn trust, then speak. 

But, there are these spots in life, where, I'm learning, we feel as though people owe us their trust, as though we can demand it, and don't have to try to earn it. 

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or whatever other form of social media...
Friends, employees, partners, husbands, wives...
Presidents, pastors, popes, parents, and professors... 

We think some position or platform grants us the trust we seek without earning it. But that's not the case. 

We can not demand trust because of some kind of position. Ever.

We still have to earn it.

If we could get this I truly believe all kinds of things would change. 

wells and water.

I'm completely stealing the metaphor from Reza Aslan, and it's profound: 

Religion is the well. 
The experience of the Divine is the water. 

There is not one well, but multiple wells all pulling water from the same underground source.

People spend a lot of time protecting wells, worshiping wells, and never pulling up water. The well becomes their identity and the well is only a tool, a language, a means. 

Once we pull up the water, we realize that other people have tasted the same water from different wells, and we realize it's not the well at all, never was, it's the water. 

People get so sick of wells they throw them away and risk losing the main means of finding water.

Interestingly, Jesus had an amazing conversation with a woman at a well.  

If this makes sense to you, you've probably tasted water.
If it doesn't, you're probably stuck at a well and it might be time to start using the well for something more. 

inhale, exhale...

And then there is when we are doing neither. We're between breaths, or holding our breath. 

Interestingly enough, there are all kind of benefits to holding our breath, including an increased lung capacity, better diaphragm control and oxygen intake, increased energy, decreased stress, etc... 

Of course, when we're surrounded by water, the only water to survive is to hold our breath. 

So, yes, inhale and exhale. Don't forget to breathe. 

And don't forget there is a time not to. 

alarm systems.

I recently watched an interview with a man who had robbed over 100 homes and is now serving a long jail sentence.  

At one point he indicated that alarm systems were nothing he had ever worried about. He was always in and out too fast. More importantly,  he said something along the lines of, "if they have the money for an alarm system, they are trying to protect something that is worth stealing". 

So, the very thing meant to deter a criminal was, instead, practically a neon arrow advertising opportunity. 

Why are we installing so many alarm systems? The more, it seems, we try to protect ourselves, the more fragile we become. 

And though money and stuff matter, the alarm systems we continue to install on our belief systems are much more dangerous. 

you're so smart.

Sure, it can be a nice compliment. But, we often save it as an excuse. 

You're so smart.
You're so talented. 
You're so beautiful. 
You're so lucky. 

You're so... and I'm not. You had a head start from the get-go. I'll never be you. Never could be. No reason to try. 

There's no denying some have an easier road than others. There's no denying that where and when we are born has a huge affect on our path, and, to some, it's entirely debilitating.

But, there's no denying there is a ton of work and effort, of risk and vulnerability in all of it, for all of us. 

They might not be so smart. They might have just put in more effort, worked harder, and risked more. They might have used what luck they had better than him. 

Or, worse, she might be just as talented. Will we ever know? And how will we all help the talent that is out there, believe in itself and have the ability to do something with it?

a chicken without a head.

It looks rejuvenated. It seems to have more energy than ever.

It's moving. Alive. Vibrant.  

For a while. 

Yet there is nothing to stop its impending death. It's already dead, really.

Don't be fooled. Lots of systems, perspectives, narratives, appear alive, maybe even more alive than ever. And they are as good as dead.  

what is worth it.

The poor have to decide. They don't have the resources to choose it all. Being poor, by nature, forces us to live more essentially and be more strict with what is "worth it".

The rich don't have to decide. They have more resources at their disposal. Being rich, by nature, causes us to live less essentially. There are more options we can afford and we generally pursue more of them - more of it is "worth it". 

Money is a great distraction, especially in our culture, for making us feel as though we can live less essentially, for lowering the bar on what is worth it and what is not, which, in the end, only hurts the most precious resource of all: us. 

That can be the true danger of money. 

is it worth it.

(I write this as a person running a spiritual community. I don't have answers yet, but the questions are making me think and search for them.) 

I paid hundreds of dollars to hear Seth Godin speak for 8 hours. Was it worth it?

I pay $10 every time I go to yoga. Is it worth it? 

We all pay hundreds for concerts, or to go to conferences, we pay gym and club memberships, we pay $10-$15 per person for a movie and, most of us answer, yes it's worth it.

That's why we pay it. 

Is church worth it? Would we pay $10 every Sunday? $5? $1?

If we want to know why a church experience (and again I say this as a pastor who gets to take advantage of this) is often not that great, it's because the "church" rarely has to ask, or be confronted with, the question, is it worth it? 

Many churches, instead, get free passes and survive on guilt and "gifts to God", or small groups of wealthy individuals, not, always, on just being worth it. 

If there was no concept of tithe, how many churches would survive? In a sense, the tithe lets a lot of church structures off the hook - never forced to ask questions like: is this working, is it worth it, why or why not? 

In the end, of course, the concept of tithe is ending or at least fading. That's why most churches (including, perhaps, the one I'm at) will probably go the way of the tithe.

They aren't worth it. 

darkness.

Lent seems to one of the most misunderstood events out there. We're on day 3 of these very confusing 40 days but maybe I can just say it this way. 

The goal of Lent is not to create more suffering. Giving up chocolate is fine but the world has plenty of suffering, no one is asking us to create more for ourselves. 

The goal of Lent is to become aware of the suffering already in the world. Once that occurs all kinds of things can start to happen including a) being better at sitting in negative emotion, instead of building lives to avoid and suffocate it b) being better at bringing something better to suffering where we can and c) finding the gift in the desert. There always is something to be learned in the desert, as the Hero's Journey tells us, but first, we have to be okay being in the desert.

So, we spend 40 days being okay being in the desert. So, we can bring back more gifts to this world. 

cash flow negative.

We were recently on a conference call with a big company that has been around for years and that, seems, incredibly successful. On the call, they said they have not had a year yet where they have been cash flow positive. They are hoping to get there in 2017. 

I was blown away. They've lost money every year of their existence. I would have never guessed.

I was recently with a man who has been a stalwart of religion and morality and he told me two big "mistakes" he's made in the past month. 

I was blown away. 

But, then again, I wasn't. Everything in our society is trying so hard to come off "successful" - whatever that means. 

Can we just make authenticity a success? 

obedience.

I'm sure there is an exception somewhere, but, generally, nothing innovative, creative, award-winning, or exceptional has ever happened because someone followed the rules, the norms, the standards. 

Of course, we'd all agree, rules have value. They bring order. Some semblance of order is necessary for  innovation, creativity, awards, and the exceptional. Rules matter. 

But, the important thing is the expectations with the rules. Following the rules and expecting to find some kind of vibrancy with life ... spiritually, artistically, sociologically, scientifically... is pretty difficult. 

 If you're following the rules, at least know why. Don't confuse rules with great change. Rules are order and order is important, except when it's not. 

getting better.

I've been sick for about a week. I'm terrible about being sick. I try really hard, and I'm getting better with my attitude, but I still hate it. 

Yet, at the end, there is the "feeling better". Last night I could barely sleep I was so excited to feel "right" while falling asleep. I appreciated it so much. I was so grateful. Not to be too graphic, but I cleared out my nose today and it felt amazing! My ear popped naturally and it was one of the greatest feelings in the world. 

Being sick sucks. But, getting better is amazing. 

We're going to get better everyone. We're going to get better. 

to oppose.

Mark Rylance said it at the Oscars.... "opposing without hate"... and I can't stop thinking about it. 

One is constructive, one is destructive.

One is necesssary, one needs to go away.  

Just because we oppose, does not mean we hate and just because we hate, does not mean we oppose. 

Oppose hate, not with hate. 

Oppose injustice, not with injustice.  

Oppose inequality, not with inequality.  

Oppose evil, not with evil. 

Oppose with love, with grace, with empathy, with compassion and don't stop opposing that way. 

enemies.

Life is so much easier with them. We don't have to be for anything, only against. We don't have to worry about earning trust, we instantly have it by choosing a side. We have instant purpose and meaning: to bring down someone or something. 

Enemies are addicting. When we don't have natural enemies we will create unnatural enemies, just to make our lives easier.

Of course easier is rarely better. But, it is easier. 

But Jesus was always after the better - not the easier. So, he said don't have enemies. Get rid of them.

Now we get to be for something. Now we get to earn trust. Now we get to find purpose and meaning in building up someone or something.

More difficult, maybe. But, always better.