cul de sac*

My wife came up with a great term for the town we live in: cul-de-sac. 

The reason I love it is that yes, Spokane doesn't suck... neither do cul-de-sacs. Cul-de-sacs are great places to raise kids, they are quiet, they are safe, and you can get a nice house on a small salary. 

But, as the name implies, they are a bit of a dead end. Or, more nicely, there are not a lot of people going places very fast... or potentially dreaming very big (and again this can be a great thing). 

Compare this idea to Los Angeles. Since I just spent a week there, it's fresh. Los Angeles is anything but a cul-de-sac... it's an 8 lane freeway, literally and figuratively. It's fast, it's hectic, and people are going places, full speed. (And often, stressed out.)

Again, neither place is better or worse, objectively. It's what you're looking for. 

But, I was struck with this: driving the freeway in Los Angeles forces you to make decisions and make them fast and with confidence. You don't put on your signal and wait for the lanes to clear, because they never do. You simply go. And that's what if feels like everyone in that city is doing - which can be overwhelming... and inspiring. 

And that leads to one of the dangers, for me, of cul-de-sac living. It lulls me into a complacency... a waiting game. (And, again, this is not a knock - it can be a huge benefit if that's where you're at.) But, if you want to go somewhere, or do something, you can't sit in your lane with your signal on and wait for everyone and everything to line up for your lane change. Those are not generally the people doing great things and going to great places. They are more generally the... Do It. Fast. Now. Go. Make your decisions and slam on the gas. People. 

The only point of any of this, I suppose, is to be aware: Aware of your city, its culture, your culture, and how they affect each other. 

* Anytime illustrations like this are used for entire cities, it gets very generalized and stereo-typical. There are always exceptions, of course. 

they think they're so cool

It was the greatest campus tour ever. In fact, this University campus was rated #1 most beautiful campus in the country (by some ranking). But, I have to admit, it was beautiful. It was beyond beautiful. It felt like a Disneyland University experience - perfectly manicured landscaping, stunning views, great architecture... all of the students were smiling and laughing as though nothing could be better in their life than walking around with a nice backup and going to their stupendous classes. 

One problem... they don't offer the degree program my daughter is looking for. So, it was a no go. 

My wife, daughter, and I were eating in one of the many restaurants after the tour and trying to make ourselves feel better by coming up with negative things to say about the campus.

"It feels fake."
"It's too nice."
And, of course, the greatest of them all. 
"They just think they're so cool." 

Funny how that one always works. "They just think they're so cool..." to which my daughter added, "because they are." It actually didn't work, because we were honest enough to admit they actually are that cool. 

For a moment it made me think about all the times I've said that about someone or something and stop and ask myself why. When you're playing the hierarchy game, the only way to bring someone above you down, is to act as though you aren't playing the game. 

plenty of time

I'm just returning from a vacation. 

On that vacation I was struck my the amount of time we have. We have time to wait in line for restaurants, wait in line for rides, wait in lines on freeways, wait in line at airports... and I loved the vacation immensely. 

We pay billions of dollars to, according to some definitions, waste time, because what's at the end of that waiting, we deem worth it. 

The answer is never "I'm too busy." 
The question is always "What time am I willing to give up for something better?"

 

should I?

There is no real answer to should I or should I not? It's too loaded with subjectivity and baggage. That word "should" is weighed down with fear, anxiety, trepidation, money, and success.

Better question is "What dos success look like?" and "What does failure look like?"

paying or getting paid

At almost every moment in life you are either paying or getting paid. 

Which one are you? And what are you paying? And what are you getting paid? And is it worth it? 

And I'm not really talking about money. 

turning over tables

I was recently in a conversation with a University Theology professor who said something along the lines of "...and I don't think there is anything in the New Testament that says differently."

To which I almost responded, "Is there anything in the New Testament about University Theology degrees?" 

Of course, I didn't because he's a phD and I'm not. I also try not to be a jerk if I can help it. 

But, the thought has crossed my mind more than once. If Jesus were to come back as the offensive, religious rebel, revolutionary that he is, he'd have to do something that we don't often think of that would really get under our skin. 

He would have to throw around some temple tables... or the equivalent. So, how about these tables...

Charging people around $50,000 a year to learn about God so that they can then speak to other people about God with a $200,000 debt and the anchor of trying to find a church job that will help to pay that debt. 

Not only does the New Testament not say anything about charging people to learn about God, it actually does seem to be one of the few things that ticks Jesus off.

stop dinging

It was a rainy day today so I had the headlights on in my rental car. When I stopped the car and got out, the car started dinging at me... why was it dinging? I finally realized I left the lights on. 

If the car can ding at me that I've left the lights on, why can't the car just fix the problem and turn the lights off for me?  The car knows there is a problem but that's all. (Elon Musk had a similar thought and did something about it.)

The rental is like a lot of people. They are great at dinging all over the place. Uh, problem over here, problem over there.

Great, instead of dinging, how about just turning off the lights? Or at least trying? 

what if... universalism

What if God/the Divine/the Creative Force of the Universe/the Mystery, loves the entire Universe, as opposed to just sections of it? 

What if Love has nothing to do with fear and/or punishment, as opposed to using fear and/or punishment to push people toward Love? 

What if humanity is saved/redeemed/healed/made whole/by Grace, as opposed to some kind of payment and/or sacrifice? 

What if being born again has more to do with being made aware of what God is, what Love is, what Grace is, as opposed to measuring up? 

What if the sheep are the universalists as opposed to the goats who are not? 

Of course these are all just fun hypotheticals... 

the middle

There is only one thing worse than failure: the middle.  It's tempting to stay in the middle - between failure and success - because it's safe. But it's also exhausting and filled with fear. 

Get out of the middle. It's a win win. 

is it secret?

I've heard a lot of secrets lately. I've been told secrets about people living in secret: mostly affairs. 

All of the people say the same thing when/if the secret is uncovered: it was the best thing that happened and though it's been utterly devastating, it feels like a weight has been lifted. It wasn't the affair that was killing them, it was the secret of it. 

Secrets will kill us. The church has a good history of forcing people to live in secret, of laying a heavy burden on people in their effort to protect their secrets. Jesus said he came to set people free and that his burden was easy and light - there are no more secrets, because there is no more fear of what will happen at the hands of the church if the secret is let into the open.

If only...

milk and honey

The movie The Hundred Foot Journey - great movie, by the way - says something along the lines of "for us to eat, something must die". A very true statement. 

And yet, my family and I were trying to come up with foods where something did not have to die. Fruits and vegetables are sketchy - the trees don't die but the fruits themselves, arguably, do. 

We eventually settled on two foods: milk and honey. Nothing dies for either of those things to be produced. (There are arguments about whether a cow should be kept in a perpetual state of milking or whether we should drink milk but nothing dies for it to be produced. Same with honey.) 

Milk and honey are not two foods I put together very often but they are the foods that are used to describe the land that God is sending the Hebrew people to in their long story from Egypt. A land flowing with milk and honey. 

I wonder, now thinking about it, if that was simply meant as a metaphor for, a land flowing with so much life, more life, and then just a bit more. That seems to be always the land the Divine is calling people toward: the land with more life than we can imagine. 

terror?

I recently read this:

... they cater to those who have had bad past church experiences. Sometimes the ideas of sin, judgment, condemnation, and hell are terrifying. But the resolution to this terror is not to water down the truths of the bible, but rather to trust in Jesus's victory over death and the unimaginable love he has for us. 

I often read things like this and wonder how this person might react if someone were to call them a white-washed tomb, hypocrite, blind guide, Pharisee, creating followers who are twice the children of Hell they are. 

Would the sin, judgment, condemnation and hell be met with, "Ah, thank you for not watering down the truths and terror of the Bible... I do appreciate it..."? 

Is there any chance that what caused the Pharisees to be so misguided was their insistence on sin, judgment, condemnation, and hell to a Jesus who seemed to operate quite differently, and in a different kingdom, with the definitions and understandings of those words? 

you need all three

The superintendent of a local school district runs this general philosophy for employees: 
Go for it. I trust you. Don't screw it up. 

Inspiration. Empowerment. Accountability.

It's so simple and yet so profound - I keep thinking about it. 

Two of three seems pretty doable - but getting all three takes more effort. . 

Sometimes I can be an inspiring, empowering person who can't make the hard decision that something or someone actually isn't working. 

Sometimes I give power and wait for someone to screw up without the inspiration or vision behind it. 

Sometimes I'll give a great speech for a great vision and wait for someone to screw up without handing over the freedom and power for them to actually do it.

This applies to so many areas of life. 

condone

I was recently with a father who had been told by his son that he couldnt continue to be around his father because it could be condoning his father's actions (which, admittedly, have not been that great). 

But I/we hear this often. If I go to the wedding, I'm condoning. If I get them a gift, I'm condoning. If I don't do this or if I do do that... will I be condoning their actions? 

This can be good to think about but apparently, Jesus didn't think too much of it. He condoned (by most of our definitions) pretty much everything under the sun that most people worry about condoning today.

Well, except, he didn't seem to condone the people who used the threat of condoning something as a reason not to utterly and completely love them.  

fool's day

We're reminded today of how trusting of a species we are. On a day when people purposely deceive/trick us - and have for years - we still wake up and read something or see something and believe it to be true... at least for a moment.  

So, today, in a nutshell, illustrates one of our greatest strengths and one of our greatest flaws: we want to believe it's true. 

the waiting game

There is quite a bit of language and thought spent on...  waiting for someone to do something, waiting for something to have enough momentum of some kind, waiting for some more of something, waiting for some less of something, waiting for the right time, the right place, the right alignment of the universe... and, of course, waiting can be good. More often than not, waiting is an excuse to do nothing until something happens (something which probably never will but at least we can pretend to be practical and productive until it does). 

I'm thinking we need more language and thought spent on... Who is waiting for me and what are they waiting for me to do? And then we do that.  

does it make me better?

Elon Musk says if you ask the right question then the answer comes pretty easy. 

Since I'm currently in love with Elon, I spent some cycles on that thought. I realized I ask a lot of questions like these... 

Is it fun? 
Is it entertaining? 
Is it worth it? 
Will it make me money? 
Will it make me look good? 

Seth Godin, in a great interview with Tim Ferriss, said that he asks "Does it make me a better person?" Or, does it help me evolve? 

Well, that changes things.

Does posting on Facebook make me better?
Does staying at that job make me better? 
Does going to that church make me better?  
Does binge watching House of Cards make me better? 
Does being a Christian make me better? 

So, if we're able to get that one down... I suppose we could move on to the related question of  "Does it make them better?" 

evil

Among the millions of definitions, how about this one? 

Unaware of the Divine. 

Lots of activities can be evil. 
Lots of people can be evil. 
Lots of systems can be evil. 

But not because of what they are bringing, only what they are hiding. 

kiss her already

Someone asked me "How do I know when to kiss her?" 

I laughed off the question, at first, and then actually thought about it. We don't ever really know when to kiss her. Or him. We only know when the risk of being rejected by the attempt is low enough that we're comfortable, or at least worth the risk. But isn't that the thrill?

When is getting the kiss not worth a thousand rejections?  

Like most things in life. 

easter suffering

A good friend watched an 11 year-old pass away after a simple surgery on Easter morning. She arrived at church and said that it was the worst night of her life. And everyone kept saying "Happy Easter" to her. 

Another friend got a phone call Sunday morning from a brother-in-law recently diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. He's 30. The man was having seizures after his first round of chemo. My friend spent an hour after the Easter service in his car crying. 

There are all kinds of Easter stories out there and most of them are pretty static, dull, boring, or just plain depressing (including the one that says God needed blood to love us). 

But, here's the thing: if our resurrection story doesn't address the pain in the world, then it's a worthless resurrection story. (By address I don't mean answer. I mean involve.) 

I think, somehow, evolution is key to these stories. To evolve and grow, we need pain. Species don't evolve without realizing they need to - and that's painful. We need pain. I think there was pain in that garden so that we could grow then and I think there will be pain in Heaven so we can continue to grow.

Of course, our perspective on pain matters quite a bit... can it eventually make pain, not pain?. Typing that makes me sound like some kind of out of touch guru and I don't really like it. Pain sucks. It hurts and I hate it. But, it seems like there is still some important perspective that we can have of pain... and I think the resurrection story helps us get there.