equal. equal.

To continue... we're all addicted to hierarchy and the hit it gives. Just look around. 

Throw out "feminism" and watch the blood boil. Throw out "black lives matter" and someone will respond with "so do ______ lives." Throw out "immigrant rights" and see what happens. 

We resist this equality. We struggle so much with the idea that we all belong, we all have worth and value, equally, that when someone hi-lights a group, we immediately raise that group above our own group and rile up the same ego that was so satisfied moments earlier - when that group was down. 

Start believing they don't want to matter more than you. They only want to matter as much as you.

only the bottom.

Most of us have someone to look up toward - more successful, more wealthy, more beautiful - and someone to look down toward - less successful, less wealthy, less beautiful. We can choose to do either, although neither are beneficial.

We're all equal. 

But since most of us do have someone to look down to, and feed our ego, we'll take the pain of hierarchy, the pain of knowing there are some who are "better than us" as long as we have the option to also look down and feel better. 

It's only those on the bottom who have no incentive for hierarchy or elitism of any kind and thus don't crave it for ego. They only despise it for the damage it does. They are not addicted to it. 

Blessed are those on the bottom, Jesus said, for they will inherit the kingdom of God. They will begin to see the world as egalitarian as it is supposed to be. 

I don't say this to assuage our ego that it's okay there are those on the bottom. It's not. 

I say this to convict us all to stop playing a game where there is a bottom and a top and to give up the ego boost in order to find actual life and to be with those who are finding it more than we are.   

365.

365 days ago I started blogging again. I was going to look at my stats, find the "most read" post, you know... 

Instead, though, I resisted  (I haven't looked at stats in a long time and I don't on a regular basis) because that's not what this has ever been about. 

Instead, I reflected. 

I've had to consciously observe, coherently create, and write 365 things that I would not have had to do if I didn't have this blog. What a success. Whether a million people read it or not, I have become better at consciously observing, coherently creating, and writing, through good posts and bad posts, through spelling errors and new words, and through being consistent. That is all I could have hoped for. 

So, thank you for reading when you do, commenting when you do, forwarding when you do and helping me get better. I hope you're encouraged to keep getting better too, in whatever you do. Or start something today!

Here's to another 365!

toxic energy.

There is a certain person that comes to yoga and... well... really stands out. There's lots of energy around her. She stands when everyone sits. She rarely does the correct pose (different than not doing the pose correctly - like me), she tends to not flow with the rest of the class. She waves her hands a lot and falls very dramatically.

I'm not a pro. At all. Not even close. I'm as beginner as they get. But we're not talking about how well she does something. We're talking about an energy that she brings. 

I'm not saying she's a toxic person, but I am saying her energy is. For me. If I'm trying to balance, and she's near me, I always fall faster. If I'm just trying to be silent and calm, it's more difficult. She makes it harder to focus and stay present. 

So I move away and I try not to look at her. I go to the other side of the room. 

This is life in many ways. There are people that just throw you off. People that don't let you get the balance right. People that make it hard to just be still. Good people. Amazing people. But the energy is toxic when it blends with yours. So, get to the other side of the room and don't even look their way. 

You can always say hi, later, you can always give them a smile, but only after you've done what you need to do. 

two gods.

At some point, "religious" people need to decide if they want to worship mystery and love or if they want to worship certainty and rules. 

Is it that simple? Maybe. 

both choices suck.

I don't know how many times I hear this. It's constant. I get the idea behind it... there isn't a clear-cut amazing choice that is perfect. 

That's true. I don't like those situations either. 

But, "sucks" is a relative word that doesn't mean a whole lot on its own. 

Burnt broccoli sucks. 
Nuclear waste also sucks. 

Compared to nuclear waste, burnt broccoli is actually pretty amazing.
In fact, I would eat the broccoli and it might even benefit me a little, even though it "sucks". 

I'm all for "the best". But when "the best" isn't available, can we stop settling for nuclear waste? 

10 years ago...

We've all heard it... usually looking at an old photo. "Wow, I looked so young! I looked so thin. I looked so..." 

10 years from now, you'll look at a photo of you today and say the same thing. So, what's the use of any of it, if all we do is look back 10 years and wish we could go back? Enjoy it today. Enjoy it tomorrow.

It's no good being young, thin, fit, or whatever else, if it's only to complain 10 years later about not being it anymore. 

survival of the fittest...

When thinking of the "fittest" we think of the strongest, the most aggressive, the most violent. And for good reason. Bull Moose, wild Stallions, Komodo Dragons... they are the ones who survive. 

But, there is another kind of "fit".

The creative ones. The ones that can adapt to changing environments. The ones that are not afraid of new, but lean into it. The risky ones. Butcher Birds, Darkling Beetles, Flamingos.. 

They are everywhere, surviving and thriving in all kinds of hidden, harder to find places. 

It's not survival of the strongest. Just the fittest.  

ideas are invitations.

Every idea is an invitation. An invitation to welcome it, to pursue it, to say no to another invitation. 

I have an idea means I have an invitation. It helps to think of that way, as to whether or not we want to, or have time to, accept it. We might already be booked. And, if not, it's important to remember that the idea is only the beginning of the relationship. 

is it the story or the writing?

I've read plenty of good books with amazing stories and average writing. 
I've read plenty of good books with average stories and amazing writing. 

I've read a few great books with an amazing story and amazing writing. 

Your life is a story. You're writing it. 

identity.

Also from Reza Aslan. 

Religion is an identity, not a system of beliefs. 

Just think on that one for a while. It will change a lot. 

new doesn't work that way.

America was once new. (Really, it's still considered to be pretty new.)

White people in the new land called America was once new. There were other people living here first. 

Christianity was new to Judaism. Evangelical Christianity was new to Christianity. The "moral majority" was new to Evangelical Christianity. Most of today's theology is the "new stuff".  

If you're American, White, or Christian (especially Evangelical) or yikes, all three, you don't get to decide when new suddenly ended. It doesn't work that way. Everything about you is new. That's the only way you're here and it's most of what you believe.

If you're no longer on board with new, I'm sorry, but there were others in history that were not on board with you and your ideas when they came into power, and, fortunately and unfortunately, new always, eventually wins. (Sometimes in terrible ways, like stealing a land and killing the people in it.)

So, you can fight it, but you're going to lose. Eventually. 

New is coming. It always does. Maybe instead of fighting it, join it, participate in it, contribute to it, and craft it to be an exciting and better new than the new it's going to be anyway. 

owed trust.

We have to earn trust. I've said it before and it's worth saying again. There's no use speaking to someone who doesn't trust us... they aren't listening. We are wasting our time.

Earn trust, then speak. 

But, there are these spots in life, where, I'm learning, we feel as though people owe us their trust, as though we can demand it, and don't have to try to earn it. 

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or whatever other form of social media...
Friends, employees, partners, husbands, wives...
Presidents, pastors, popes, parents, and professors... 

We think some position or platform grants us the trust we seek without earning it. But that's not the case. 

We can not demand trust because of some kind of position. Ever.

We still have to earn it.

If we could get this I truly believe all kinds of things would change. 

wells and water.

I'm completely stealing the metaphor from Reza Aslan, and it's profound: 

Religion is the well. 
The experience of the Divine is the water. 

There is not one well, but multiple wells all pulling water from the same underground source.

People spend a lot of time protecting wells, worshiping wells, and never pulling up water. The well becomes their identity and the well is only a tool, a language, a means. 

Once we pull up the water, we realize that other people have tasted the same water from different wells, and we realize it's not the well at all, never was, it's the water. 

People get so sick of wells they throw them away and risk losing the main means of finding water.

Interestingly, Jesus had an amazing conversation with a woman at a well.  

If this makes sense to you, you've probably tasted water.
If it doesn't, you're probably stuck at a well and it might be time to start using the well for something more. 

inhale, exhale...

And then there is when we are doing neither. We're between breaths, or holding our breath. 

Interestingly enough, there are all kind of benefits to holding our breath, including an increased lung capacity, better diaphragm control and oxygen intake, increased energy, decreased stress, etc... 

Of course, when we're surrounded by water, the only water to survive is to hold our breath. 

So, yes, inhale and exhale. Don't forget to breathe. 

And don't forget there is a time not to. 

alarm systems.

I recently watched an interview with a man who had robbed over 100 homes and is now serving a long jail sentence.  

At one point he indicated that alarm systems were nothing he had ever worried about. He was always in and out too fast. More importantly,  he said something along the lines of, "if they have the money for an alarm system, they are trying to protect something that is worth stealing". 

So, the very thing meant to deter a criminal was, instead, practically a neon arrow advertising opportunity. 

Why are we installing so many alarm systems? The more, it seems, we try to protect ourselves, the more fragile we become. 

And though money and stuff matter, the alarm systems we continue to install on our belief systems are much more dangerous. 

you're so smart.

Sure, it can be a nice compliment. But, we often save it as an excuse. 

You're so smart.
You're so talented. 
You're so beautiful. 
You're so lucky. 

You're so... and I'm not. You had a head start from the get-go. I'll never be you. Never could be. No reason to try. 

There's no denying some have an easier road than others. There's no denying that where and when we are born has a huge affect on our path, and, to some, it's entirely debilitating.

But, there's no denying there is a ton of work and effort, of risk and vulnerability in all of it, for all of us. 

They might not be so smart. They might have just put in more effort, worked harder, and risked more. They might have used what luck they had better than him. 

Or, worse, she might be just as talented. Will we ever know? And how will we all help the talent that is out there, believe in itself and have the ability to do something with it?

a chicken without a head.

It looks rejuvenated. It seems to have more energy than ever.

It's moving. Alive. Vibrant.  

For a while. 

Yet there is nothing to stop its impending death. It's already dead, really.

Don't be fooled. Lots of systems, perspectives, narratives, appear alive, maybe even more alive than ever. And they are as good as dead.  

what is worth it.

The poor have to decide. They don't have the resources to choose it all. Being poor, by nature, forces us to live more essentially and be more strict with what is "worth it".

The rich don't have to decide. They have more resources at their disposal. Being rich, by nature, causes us to live less essentially. There are more options we can afford and we generally pursue more of them - more of it is "worth it". 

Money is a great distraction, especially in our culture, for making us feel as though we can live less essentially, for lowering the bar on what is worth it and what is not, which, in the end, only hurts the most precious resource of all: us. 

That can be the true danger of money. 

is it worth it.

(I write this as a person running a spiritual community. I don't have answers yet, but the questions are making me think and search for them.) 

I paid hundreds of dollars to hear Seth Godin speak for 8 hours. Was it worth it?

I pay $10 every time I go to yoga. Is it worth it? 

We all pay hundreds for concerts, or to go to conferences, we pay gym and club memberships, we pay $10-$15 per person for a movie and, most of us answer, yes it's worth it.

That's why we pay it. 

Is church worth it? Would we pay $10 every Sunday? $5? $1?

If we want to know why a church experience (and again I say this as a pastor who gets to take advantage of this) is often not that great, it's because the "church" rarely has to ask, or be confronted with, the question, is it worth it? 

Many churches, instead, get free passes and survive on guilt and "gifts to God", or small groups of wealthy individuals, not, always, on just being worth it. 

If there was no concept of tithe, how many churches would survive? In a sense, the tithe lets a lot of church structures off the hook - never forced to ask questions like: is this working, is it worth it, why or why not? 

In the end, of course, the concept of tithe is ending or at least fading. That's why most churches (including, perhaps, the one I'm at) will probably go the way of the tithe.

They aren't worth it.