why do you care.

Why do you care about this and not that? 

It's a serious question. What makes you care? 

Guilt? Fear? Love? Religion? Rules? Awareness? Interest? Passion? Knowledge? Experience? Story?

And what makes them care differently? 

beware of bumper stickers.

My Ford beats your Chevy
Make America Great
Coexist
I do Yoga
Jesus Saves

It doesn't really matter if they are true or not. That's not the point of a bumper sticker. 

The point is to draw some kind of tribal line: you know where I stand. If you agree, smile and feel free to join and if you don't, get irritated and go away. So, they generally work. We have an emotional response. They start to indicate who our tribe is and who our tribe isn't.

They, generally, amplify the divide. 

Match.com says that Android users are 15 times more likely to judge someone negatively with an iPhone and iPhone users are 21 times more likely to judge someone negatively with an Android. 

Even the Apple sticker works. Emotional responses. Tribes. 

But, the problem is that we're a nation living on bumper stickers right now.

Build a wall.
Love trumps hate. 
We fight back!

It doesn't matter whether they are true or convincing. It's very rare 5 words or less will ever change someone's mind. It's rare they are intended to. They are emotional lines in the tribal sands.

You can't fight a bumper sticker with another bumper sticker. You can't lead a country with a bumper sticker. You can't lead a conversation with a bumper sticker. 

You can't do anything except polarize. 

So if you want to polarize, use a bumper sticker. Otherwise let's get real.  

stop. start.

Stop asking what more you can do.  
Start asking what you should quit.
So you can do what you do better. 

Stop asking how you can get more people to pay attention. 
Start asking how you can weed out those who aren't. 
So it actually matters.  

Stop asking how you can make more money. 
Start asking how you can live on less. 
So you can be more free. 

Stop talking. 
Start listening.  
So you can learn.  

Stop worrying and being afraid. 
Start loving and reaching out to those who need help. 
So you can change the world. 

And...

Stop telling us about your religion and holy books. 
Start living an irresistible life of inspiration.  
So that we can believe in a good God again. 

happier.

A yoga master once said this to his students:

If your teacher is not happier, more smiley, and more loving than you, you might want to find a new teacher. 

Who are your teachers? 

spoiled.

Diminish or destroy the value or quality of

or

Treat with great or excessive kindness, consideration, or generosity. 

Spoiled milk, spoiled trips, and spoiled brats make me want to hit something but when she spoils me for my birthday, I can't help but smile. 

What gives?

I don't know, but I think we've spoiled our view of God by pushing  a God that doesn't desire to spoil humanity with love. 

all paths.

Correct, they don't all lead to the same spot.

That doesn't mean there isn't more than one path to some spots. What spot are you shooting for?

the same room.

Connection. Community. The "lack of it" is one of the largest complaints at a church. 

Which is interesting. 

When was the last time someone complained about community at the yoga studio? Or the gym? Or the symphony? Or a theatre? Or a restaurant? 

Some will often critique the church goer who comes in late and then leaves without talking to anyone. 

Are they critiqued at the yoga studio? The gym? The symphony? The theatre? The restaurant? 

Don't underestimate the power of doing something together with other human beings in a room. We all need it. For some reason, at a church, it's supposed to be different than everywhere else, even though it's just as powerful, and often unnoticed and under appreciated. 

burnt cheese.

Starbucks was making money and growing but its founder Howard Schultz couldn't stand the smell that was taking over his stores: the smell of burnt cheese. 

Breakfast sandwiches were a big hit. Customers loved them. They were making money and drawing in customers. But, according to Schultz, they were ruining the experience that he was looking for, the experience at the heart of Starbucks. They were ruining the smell of coffee beans, the aura of the spaces. 

Very few people agreed with him. He kept fighting. They fought back. He insisted. 

Eventually, Starbucks stopped growing. Lots of reasons were given. Eventually, they started growing again. Lots of reasons. 

But, when was the last time you smelled burnt cheese in a Starbucks? 

What's your burnt cheese? You might be the only one who cares. Everyone might tell you how much they love what you're trying to get rid of and the numbers might support them.

For now. 

Maybe you need to keep insisting.  

factories vs fields.

They both produce. 

One produces goods, many of which are unnecessary for survival, many even detrimental. 
The other produces food, a requirement, at some level, for the survival of our species. 

One requires consistency, a lack of change, a routine. Sterility. 
The other requires sun, water, dirt, pollination (natural elements we do not control) growth, and adaptation. 

One pollutes. 
The other contributes. 

One produces a mindset - follow the rules with efficiency. Mastery of protocol. Don't think. 
The other produces a different mindset - see, feel, care. Be. Notice. React. 

Of course, we make our fields more like factories every day. 

And our religions, our educational systems, our emotions, and most other aspects of our lives. 

Sometimes there are storms, sometimes droughts, sometimes infestations. We lose control. 
Sometimes it's messy and muddy and frustrating... 

But have you ever experienced the taste of an apple or strawberry or peace fresh off the tree?   

return policy

We recently changed our store's return policy, on paper but more importantly in our heads: If they aren't happy, return the money. Simple.

It's amazing how much time and energy we now save. We no longer worry about whether they are taking advantage of us or milking the system or trying to get a free shirt - we just return the item.  No decision needed. Next?

It works in a lot of ways.

I see them. They are less fortunate. I have enough to give.

No decision needed. Next?

don't let the labels confuse you.

If

it talks like Jesus
acts like Jesus
loves like Jesus...

Church, Christian, Evangelical... whatever. 
 

bigger threats.

On average, 36,000 Americans are killed each year by the flu and related complications. Obesity may kill around 100,000 each year. Hundreds of thousands die annually simply because they don’t have access to “the most valuable preventive health services available,” according to the Centers for Disease Control. 

the question.

Do you see them?

That's the one.

If "no" is our answer, we're in trouble. 

we banned jesus.

At first glance, it's ironic that the most "Christian nation" in the world just banned Jesus from entering its borders. (Yes, those refugees are the ones Jesus equated himself to.)

On second glance, Christian Empire (nation or religion) has never wanted much to do with Jesus anyway. Jesus spoke pretty harshly about empire and tried to make it clear he didn't come to start, or encourage, one. Empire never has liked his message or his empowerment of, and siding with, the oppressed.

So, I guess we are, in a sense, more officially a "Christian" nation than we've ever been. Good to know. For the record, I will  be siding with Jesus in all his forms - not with Christianity or its nation.  

less than.

Not too long ago I saw a guy in a parking lot asking me for money. He said he wanted to buy a steak and some tomatoes. 

There were a few potential responses: 

Steak? Are you kidding me, bro? If you're going to ask for money, I'll buy you some cheap bread.
No way. Guys like that buy drugs. 
Dude, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and stop begging. 
Sure. Let's go. 

I chose the last option on that night. 

Why?

Well, the way I see it, he has less than me. I've never asked for anything in a grocery store parking lot. I've never had the rotten teeth this guy had. I've never been so desperate (even if it is for drugs) that I needed to ask a stranger for money and pretend I want a steak. 

And also, who cares if he wants a steak? I want a steak. 

I asked him his name, we talked a bit, and I gave him a gift card to the grocery store and told him to have a great night. 

I don't say any of this to brag. I do say it to encourage you to do the same. We waste so much energy on whether or not this person deservers this or that but it's much more freeing and simple to say: do they have less than I do? 

That's all that matters. If they have less, then I have more. And I should share. 

Plus, extra bonus if you're someone who respects Jesus: Jesus seemed to say the exact same thing. 

Double super bonus: Jesus (and all kinds of research) tend to also say that in doing that you'll also be a lot happier and maybe even start to find "life". 

left lanes.

What do you do when you get behind the driver moving too slow in the left lane? 

Do you ride their tail, hoping to make a point and wait for them to get over? 
Do you quickly move into the right lane and get by them? 
Do you flash your lights? Flip them off? Stare them down and shake your head? 

This recently happened to me and, in that instance, I decided to quickly move into the right lane, pass them, and get on my merry way. But, I noticed a truck behind me decided not to do that. Instead he got right behind the car and drove about 15 under the speed limit, about 3 feet from the bumper, while hoping they would get the point. 

Eventually, I was so far in front of them that I don't know how it turned out. I moved on. But I assume the driver of the truck wasted a few minutes of his day and some stress on his heart for nothing. I assume the driver of the car moving too slow was pretty oblivious to the messaging and is still driving too slow somewhere in a left lane. 

Yes, there are times when we need to make someone aware. 

But, there are other times when we need to keep moving, at the speed we want, and leave that anchor, that weight, that impediment to our own progress, in the rear view mirror where they belong. 

please dear god stop.

If you haven't earned trust, than you're just shouting. You're preaching at people. You're a fountain of meaningless words. 

It seems there are more meaningless words and shouts than ever before. I feel like I'm being preached at from every angle. I imagine you feel the same. But, none of it is doing anything to change my mind. I imagine it's not changing yours either. 

But, there are some people... I'm reading, I'm listening, I'm conversing, and I'm paying attention to. They have earned it, through relationship, through time, through consistency, through illustrating that they actually care what I think, and now I return the favor and care what they think.

They are invoking change. 

If you're a Trump Hater, I get it. But here's the deal. He's earned the trust of millions of people, whether you think he should have or not. You have probably not earned most of those same people's trust. They listen to him. They don't listen to you. Your meaningless shouts, preaching at them on every social media possible or (rarely) face to face, is doing the same thing meaningless shouts do when they come from them to you: nothing. 

Please for the sake of humanity, stop. Stop shouting. Stop preaching. Stop yelling. 

Start earning some trust. Start listening. Start paying attention. Start learning. Keep invoking change in the people who already trust you. Keep creatively inspiring the people who are already listening while you try to earn the respect of more who will. 

It's the only way you'll ever invoke any change in this world. It's time-consuming, labor intensive, and sometimes soul crushing. And it doesn't always work. They might still disagree with you.

But, at least you'll have made a human connection instead of severing one.

Elon Musk said this is a recent interview, defending his support of Tillerson: 

You are missing the point. This is something we need to strive for and the more voices of reason that the President hears, the better. Simply attacking him will achieve nothing. Are you aware of a single case where Trump bowed to protests or media attacks? Better that there are open channels of communication.

are they?

I just got to speak to about 40 people at a retirement home about evolving Christianity, faith, and spirituality. And millennials. Their grandkids. 

It was a way better time than I thought it would be! They were amazing people, asking all kinds of questions, and stating their disbelief at the younger generation and seeking ways to better understand. I can't wait to go back next week and talk about Hell, angry God, atonement theories, the Bible, and who knows what other fun stuff. 

At the end of our conversations, a person said to me, in reference to Clinton and Trump, "Do you think they are Christians?" 

"Me?" I responded. Everyone laughed. "What do I think?" 

"Yeah." 

I said, "Well, we could spend a whole other hour talking about what it means to be a 'Christian' and that would be interesting. But, what I see is that if you're a Democrat, you think Clinton is a Christian and Trump isn't. If you're a Republican you think Trump is a Christian and Clinton (and Obama) isn't. So, for starters, it seems we're determining 'Christianity' based on something I find pretty disturbing and we're showing our true colors. And they are pretty embarrassing colors. We should probably start finding some better conversations." 

Nervous laughter and lots of agreement. From both sides. 

I figure if some Baby Boomers in a retirement home can agree to that, we all should. 

buy one get three free.

The phrase is in practically every late-night tv commercial selling some kind of new mop, towel, paint, or cleaner. 

And most people, if they see the ad, ignore it. They see it for what it is: a blatant attempt to sell something, that isn't good enough to sell without some kind of ridiculous enticement to get your attention and money. 

But, lots of people purchase those items - and they aren't all dumb people. 

The ads are everywhere. 

Buy one fear, get three more thrown in! For free! 
Buy one enemy, get two more! But only if you buy now! 
Buy one hate, get a dozen more. Free! 
Buy one lie, you'll get to believe five more! No extra charge!
Buy one pessimistic outlook and gain an infinite number more! 

We could go on and on and they're all about as worthy of your time and money as the miracle tile cleaner that will make your bathroom look new in 5 minutes, without a drop of sweat. 

Yes, people will purchase them. They always do. But don't be one of them. 

stop implying.

To Christians (for a moment). 

If you are in any way implying with your language, your Facebook posts, your Tweets, your actions and/or your conversations that Donald Trump is closer to Jesus than Barack Obama, don't be surprised to continue to see people no longer interested in Christianity or Jesus. I just spent a few days with hundreds of them. And there are thousands of people who are hearing and seeing that message, whether you mean it or not. Please go out of your way to make sure people know you don't mean that. 

If you do actually mean that, well, the faster that Christianity dies, the better.