would you rather?

Would you rather hit a home run 2 out of 10 times and strike out the other 8 or would you rather hit a single 8 out of 10 times and strike out the other 2? 

You might be swinging too hard. 

caring.

You can do anything in life if you don't care. (Think about that for a second.)

You can't do anything in life if you care too much. (And think about that.) 

So the real battle seems to be about caring... just enough. 

equality.

If you've been around me for any length of time, you know I love a few words: enough, evolve, create...

and equality. 

It's honestly become one of my driving "philosophies" in life: equality for all. Equally human, equally divine, equally deserving of equal love and respect and compassion and... enough. 

I try to create toward equality. I hope we're evolving toward equality. You get it...

Last year, after the election, we started Republic of Equal, an apparel company meant to push back a little on much of the negative language out there and push forward on... equality. 

Then we shut it down. It had been a little rushed and we were a little busy. 

Then 2017 came. Then more and more events happened and the negative language seemed to not only be sticking around but getting louder. 

So, we spent about 3 months remodeling Republic of Equal. We tested out a variety of apparel, we tested out designs, with a variety of people, we revamped the website... we evolved. 

I'm proud of what we now have. Sure it's just apparel, but it's apparel with messages that we need in this world. And we give away 50% of profits to a different organization every month fighting inequality in one way or another. 

So, please, check it out. Use the coupon code BLOG20 for 20% off your first purchase. 

Spread the word. Follow us (or tell your friends) via Twitter or Facebook or, any way you'd like. We'll be handing out some freebies to people who do...

And, of course, if you have suggestions, let me know! 

i watched this ant.

I felt like Solomon for a second, studying this little ant that was walking across our deck. 

The little guy had a huge piece of food that he was carrying. He would get close to the gaps in the wood and then move away from them until he found a spot close enough to cross. 

From his perspective, the deck must have felt like miles, with canyons everywhere.

Then he reached our planter and started going straight up. His cargo was catching the wind and twirling him around but he kept going. Straight up. Against the wind. Probably felt like a hurricane. 

And he finally made it into a hole in the planter where he entered. I imagined a parade for him when he got home - or at least a prize for bringing home a huge piece of food. 

But, he probably didn't.

Probably just dropped it off and left again to get some more. Maybe he took a nap.

And he didn't complain. Or get mad. Or wonder why no one was recognizing him. 

Just humans, like me, do that. 

It's an ant's life. It's work. It's effort. And then they do it again. 

No wonder Solomon studied them for so long. There's a lot to learn.  

just look up.

The next time you're feeling bad about your failures... look up. 

I mean that literally. 

At night. 

Check out the majestic beauty of stars, of space, of the thing we call the night sky. Isn't it lovely? 

Now remember this, that sky is filled with 100 billion failed stars. They're called brown dwarfs and considered too big to be planets and too small to be stars. It's almost like they tried but just couldn't make it. 

You know the feeling. 

But the sky up there is filled with them and it's still pretty damn beautiful. 

You'll be alright. Keep going. 

the other way around.

Seth Godin summarized it so well - I can't stop thinking about it. 

I don't blog every day because I have an idea. I have an idea because I blog every day. 

Bam. 

Boom. 

Gotcha. 

How often do I mix those up and in so many ways? 

Sometimes the inspiration you're waiting for isn't going to come until you start doing the thing you're afraid to try until the inspiration comes. 

too many choices.

The Paradox of Choice has been written about extensively... including a great book and TED Talk. The basic idea is this: too many choices and we're frozen. 

Standing in the grocery aisle with 72 spaghetti sauces does not make our life happier, it just makes us more confused. 

But, it extends beyond material goods... we live in an age now, where the choices for what to do this weekend, for jobs, for passions, for hobbies, for restaurants are just as overwhelming. 

I'm not sure the solution. Being aware of the problem is a good start. Not letting the infinite number of possibilities paralyze us, is maybe step two. 

Just decide. It's better to buy a crappy jar of spaghetti sauce then to sit there and stare at them all for hours. You can always go back to the store and get the other one. 

my 3 favorite words - on a shirt.

They are on this site. They are in my office. They are represented on my body - in the form of tattoos. I love these words. I love what they make me they remind me of, make me think about it, and inspire in me. 

CHANGE | EVOLVE | CREATE

They are spirituality, they are art, they are business, they are parenting, they are culture, they are life... yeah, I really like these words.  

So, I took my favorite shirt right now (from Bella and Canvas) put the words on it (I tend to make lots of shirts), and wore it around a bit. Someone said, can I get one? And what does it mean? And we talked about all kinds of things. 

And then Kanye West found out about it and I sent one to him. He wears them now at his concerts. And then Obama saw it and asked for one and then Trump did and then the Pope and James Dobson asked for one as well - even though he doesn't really like the word evolution. 

It's blowing up. 

Of course, that didn't happen but isn't it weird how many people want a shirt after their favorite celebrity wears a shirt? 

Anyway, I added some other colors and made them all available right here on the site, ready for you to purchase, to wear around, and to dive into the conversations that they might provoke. 

Enjoy the words. Enjoy the shirt. Enjoy your fellow humans. 

Enjoy change. Enjoy evolution. Enjoy creation. 

the tarp.

We were setting up our tent and decided not to put on the tarp. The forecast was for pure sun. 

And you know the next line, right?

It rained.

We got up in the middle of the night and put on the tarp but we decided not to tie it down  because it wasn't windy. 

And you know the next line, right? 

The wind came barreling through and we got out of our wet sleeping bags to tie down the roof while it continued to rain. 

Was it because we were lazy?

Maybe.

Was it because we really didn't think there was a chance of rain? 

Maybe.

Was it because it's beautiful to sleep in a tent with no roof and stare up at the stars? 

For sure.

I suppose we weren't prepared. I was suppose we trusted a forecast. I suppose we thought wrong. 

But sometimes you just want to sleep under the stars - and you can deal with the rain if it comes.  

thousands and thousands...

There are thousands of people on this planet that are just as talented as me. And probably you. 

There are thousands more that are more talented than me. And probably you. 

Which leaves me, and you, with some decisions for our jobs, our passions, our creative endeavors, our dreams, our stories, our relationships... 

I can... 

1. Worker harder than them. (Keeping in mind there are thousands who will also work as hard.)
2. Wait for some luck. (Give the power to someone or something else.) 
3. Be more creative and unique. (But there are thousands who are just as creative...) 
4. Lower my expectations. (How low do I go?)
5. Quit. (Buy some weed and sit under a tree.)

or....

Cheer for them. Help them. Learn from them. Be generous and kind to them and humble around them. Stop competing with them and start being grateful for their inspiring presence in my life. 

And suddenly it seems like a much nicer and more enjoyable world. 

the wrong fear.

The man in charge of the air base was worried about sabotage, most likely from a foreigner (a.k.a. terrorism).

So, he ordered all of the planes to the middle of the airfield, as far from the fences as possible, wing tip to wing tip, and made sure all of the weapons were removed. 

Which would have been great, provided there had been a terrorist attack. And, after all, what other kind of attack would there have been since... 

"A Japanese attack on Hawaii is regarded as the most unlikely thing in the world, with one chance in a million of being successful..." 

 Turns out that Japanese attack - not the other one - happened and destroyed all of the airplanes that had been set-up almost perfectly for them. 

That's the thing with fear, and with pride, and with letting either one of them - worse both at the same time - make decisions for you. You might end up losing everything you thought you were protecting - or never thought you could lose. 

how can I help?

It's always funny the reaction people give (and might be expecting) when I hear the conversation. It's some variation of:

Person A: I've got to give up social media. I can't take it anymore. 

Person B: Really? Oh man... Yeah... 

Person A: It's just gotten to be too much. 

Person B: I get it. Forever?

Person A: No, no. Just maybe the summer. 

Here is more of the variation I think we should be pushing for:

Person A: I've got to give up social media. I can't take it anymore. 

Person B: How can I help you get rid of it forever? 

It might be a little harsh but that's me. When someone announces to me that they are getting off it, I hear it as though someone is announcing they are not going to do cocaine anymore. Awesome! What can I do to help? 

the ice maker.

There was an ice maker just sitting there. It had worked in the past but it wasn't working that day. And it drove us crazy. 

It was almost there. Almost ice.  So tempting.

If it had never been there it wouldn't have been near as annoying. If we had never known we could have had ice, we wouldn't have cared.

It would have been way nicer to have disappeared than to be there, not working.  

The things that bug us the most are usually the things that we know what to expect and we aren't getting it. We know it should be working and it's so close but it's not.

In other words, we hate the busyness of our lives because we know how our lives, our time, is supposed to work not because we are clueless.  

So good news. We know the right solutions, the way things are supposed to be - all we need to do is fix them.  

how...

It might be the thing I struggle the most with: the line of more and enough. Move too far either way and things aren't great: I can be content with nothing of meaning or I could never be satisfied with everything in the world. 

I've recently realized I need to answer a more important question. How much is enough? 

In other words...

How many people do I need to impact? One? Five? Ten thousand?

To be enough. 

How many blog readers? Ten? Fifty? Two-Hundred Thousand? 
How many book purchases? Hundred? Thousand? Million? 

To be enough. 

How many likes? 
How many nice emails? 
How many changed stories? 
How many.... 

And on and on the list goes... at what point would I think I've had enough? Not the cliché answers but my honest and authentic answers.

They don't necessarily have to be a number. Maybe it's an amount that supplies something else. But the point is that I will never have enough unless I start to define it. 

Neither will you. 

It's a question I've been thinking a lot about lately... 

now we want it.

There was a typo on the label so no one wanted it. One particular store really didn't want it. You couldn't pay them to take the wine.

Then the wine won best of show in San Francisco - it crushed the blind wine tasting competition and China is asking for it along with everyone else. That store is now calling, begging for the wine they had turned down.

Which forces us to ask the question. What is your typo? What is your "best of show"? What amazing wine are you waiting for someone else to legitimize and missing out on, in the meantime,  because of a typo?

they never leave.

There are these little black fish with white dots and blue eyes. Tiny little guys. 

We didn't see many but the ones we did see were always in the same spot. Always. They sat around this little reef, and on that reef, guarded a small section. Each of them never left that section, no matter when we saw them. 

Looking from above, I had all kinds of thoughts. 

1. I wonder if there is a reason.

2. You guys realize there is a big reef here, right? 

3. You guys realize there are a few more of you, right on the other side of the reef, right? 

4. What are you guarding?!? 

5. You guys realize there are some really cool things in this ocean all around you, right? 

They might be the most brave fish in the ocean. I'm not sure. I've tried finding information about them. But, from my vantage spot, I felt like their answer to every question would be... are you kidding? It's dangerous out there! 

Which reminded me, again, to not act like those fish (or at least my perception of them). There's too much ocean out there. 

rich on a cliff.

It's a 40 foot jump off of a rock into the aqua ocean below. 

We were debating whether or not we were going to do it, staring at the rock from the shoreline,  and everyone started to talk about a guy who almost jumped and then sat down. He was sitting there for a long time. We watched him. 

My daughter and son and I eventually decided to jump. We made our way up the rock and met the man's son. We found out his name was Rich. His entire family had jumped but not Rich. They were hoping he would go soon. In fact, everyone was encouraging him to jump. He didn't. 

Kids were jumping. We hesitated, but everyone said "You just have to jump. Can't think about it." 

We jumped. It was magical. 

From below we started a chant for Rich to jump. Another man offered to film the whole thing and email it to Rich. Hundreds of people were eventually chanting "Rich, Rich, Rich" and he didn't jump. 

We talked to his wife and his daughters. Rich was an engineer. Afraid of nothing. They couldn't understand what happened to him. Rich was a great swimmer. He worked on a bridge that was hundreds of feet high - never afraid of heights .

It was in his head.

We climbed the rock again. "Rich, you gotta jump. Stop thinking about it. Let's do this. People of all ages, religions, races, telling Rich to jump. Nothing negative was said to Rich. It was cool to see. But it wasn't working. 

We jumped again.

We chanted again.

We kept waiting.

We eventually saw Rich walk off the rock. 

Later, we saw him in town. I went up to him and said "Rich! The guy from the rock! Did you ever jump?" 

"No," he answered. 

"Well," I said. "Kudos for resisting all that peer pressure. That was impressive." 

He laughed. 

I think he wished he had jumped. 

But he had waited too long. He had thought about it too much. He had hesitated and analyzed and sat there imagining every single possibility and those thoughts eventually paralyzed him. Like they always do. 

Sometimes, you just have to stop thinking, get off your butt, and jump. 

So, jump!  

binged.

My family and I have been in Hawaii. A few days ago I stayed in our little condo while the rest of the family went on a hike to a waterfall, visited a  memorial, brought some plate dinners to the beach, and watched the sunset.

It did sound like a pretty magical time but while they were gone my time wasn't wasted. I binged watched eight episodes of a new show on Netflix and caught up with all my friends and family on social media and watched some fantastic YouTube videos. 

Of course, I didn't do that. Who in their right mind would do such a thing and choose Netflix, Instagram, and YouTube over Hawaii? Right?

And that is the question. 

Who would? Hawaii is special but so is wherever you are. Hawaii also vividly illustrates the correct answer to some of our common questions. 

the signs. part two.

Here are the signs I've been trying to pay less attention to:

1. No quitting beyond this point. 

2. Only qualified candidates can start that. 

3. Certain degrees only, beyond this line. 

4. They know what you should do zone. 

5. Pass this line and God will be angry.  

6. No, you aren't, enough, to pass this line. 

7. Fear only zone. 

I don't think these signs are very useful or inspiring anymore. But I still follow them from time to time, unfortunately. 

But a little less every day. 

no one cares what the sign says.

I've seen hundreds of people in the ocean with a sign that says "Don't swim, jellyfish"

I've seen everyone go the wrong end of the line when the sign clearly said "Line starts here". 

I've seen hundreds of people jump off rocks into the ocean when the sign said "No jumping"

I've seen everyone park where the sign says "No Parking"

I've seen everyone climb over a rope with a sign that says "End of the trail is here. Do not go any further." 

And I swam in that ocean, went to the wrong end of the line, jumped off the rocks, parked, and went over the rope closer to the waterfall. 

Signs are everywhere in life and they really don't mean much of anything. What's does mean a lot is figuring out which signs are worth following and which signs are not. And, for that, there will always be a need for other humans to point, to lead, to test the way. 

Or to be that person ourselves.