continually expanding.

The universe is continually expanding, which means that everything we are made of and consist of, is continually expanding. 

Which means,

when your friend group is not continually expanding
when your experiences are not continually expanding
when your creativity is not continually expanding
when your understanding is not continually expanding
when your tribe is not continually expanding

There is a reason you might feel a little off.

meaningless.

If you had 12 million likes tomorrow, how would your life change the next day?

The only reasonable answer is that 12 million likes might mean that you now have 12 million clients or 12 million people listening to the story you are telling the world to make it better. 

In other words, likes only matter if they are indicative of something else. 

So, start producing a product that 12 million are interested in or start telling a story that 12 million people want to hear... you might end up with 12 million likes but you definitely won't care. 

spots and sides.

Our family has seen every season of Survivor that has aired. It's one of the greatest social experiments out there. So much to learn. And, as we get excited about another season coming up soon... 

If there is one thing you learn watching Survivor, it's this: blind spots lead to blindsides.

And if there is another thing that you learn watching Survivor, it's this: overconfidence breeds blind spots. 

And if there is one thing you learn from the great spiritual teachers, it's this: humility and sight are  essential to life. 

brakes beat engines.

In a recent podcast I learned that the brakes in a car will (most) always stop a car. We're talking about lots of horsepower, with the accelerator slammed to the floor and the brakes will still stop the car even with the accelerator remaining down. 

(Side note, if you're accelerator ever gets stuck, stay calm, take your foot off both pedals and press the brakes - you'l stop.) 

Brakes always win. 

So do breaks. 

Don't let let a critic break your momentum with their empty opinions. They'll always stop you, if allowed.   

And remember, you can always stop - even when it seems you can't. Take a break, relax. It's never too late. 

the worst kind of cage.

Much worse than a cage, is living a trapped life, while believing you are free... and being content with the containment. 

Even calling the bars a blessing. 

sacked.

I once coached a kid who was a super star. 

He was a touchdown machine. 

He was the one... who would get the big scholarship someday. 

NFL? Who knows? 

And he'd never lost a game. 

I coached him one game. Arena football. 

The first half of the game he was sacked 5 times. We were losing. He was crying in the huddle. He'd never seen adversity. 

I once coached a kid who had potential. 

He could have been a touchdown machine. 

He could have been the one... 

He didn't know how to lose though. 

the finish.

Some of the most beautiful cathedrals and structures on our planet were built by people who never saw them completed. They would work their entire life and never see the finished project. 

I'll admit, there are a lot of things I don't start, because I don't think I'll see them finished. In fact, I might not even lay a brick. 

Fix the educational system?
Fix the mental health system? 
Fix the prison system? 
Fix poverty? 

Ridiculous. Too big. Out of control. 

Some of the most powerful accomplishments in our society were done by human beings content with not seeing the finished project. 

They continued to go to work every day. 

go rogue

There are no rules in art and creativity. Isn't that why we love it? 

The cages are finally gone  - don't let the voices bring them back. 

the nudge

Do you ever get the nudge? The thought, idea, spark, to do something? 

I'm in the middle of Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. The way she talks about ideas... as some kind of entities that visit us, help us, and sometimes leave us, is beautiful, inspiring, and freeing. 

And incredibly helpful.

I think it's how God/The Divine works. God approaches. Hey, here's a thought. You up for it? No pressure, but I think you might like this. Again, no stress. There will be more. No shame. You are loved whether you take it or not. 

She could use a phone call. They could use some groceries. This would make a good story. Tell them you appreciate them. Have you been to Iceland? Want to start a non-profit? 

And sometimes we run with it. And sometimes we pass it along to someone else.

We nudge them. This could be cool for you. I wonder if you'd like it. And again, no stress. There will be more. No shame. You are loved whether you take it or not. 

Too much of my life is built around there not being another opportunity. Too much is built around love being tied to accepting a nudge, or not. 

It's just a nudge. No stress, there will be more. No sham.e You are loved whether you (or they) take it or not. 

have to vs get to

I don't know who said it anymore - not sure it matters - but when asked Why God created the world, they answered something along the lines of "for us to enjoy it". 

That's why. To enjoy it. What a concept. 

I was with a college freshman who said that everything changed in his first year of school when he remembered he didn't have to be there. He wanted to be there. He got to be there. 

You don't have to do that. You get to... enjoy it.

That alone, might make some decisions for us. 

red sweater

"It's just a red sweater," some would say. 

"But, you don't understand," she would answer "that red sweater is the sweater that I wore the first time he hit me in a fit of rage." 

That's not just a red sweater. 

And when she leaves him, she burns the sweater as a sign of a new, clean, fresh, start. And it's beautiful. It was necessary. It's healing. 

But it's just a red sweater.

Don't underestimate the power of red sweaters. We all have them, to varying degrees. Of course, it doesn't make sense that something that objective can have that much power. But it does. We shouldn't be bashful about its destruction. The fire, in this case, brings freedom. 

If there is a Hell, I think it's burning a lot of red sweaters. 

the big difference

There is a huge difference in recording an album
and recording an album that someone wants to hear. 

It's much easier to do the thing
than to have a group of people that want the thing. 

One is not necessary for the other. 
One is not better than the other. 

But I do often confuse them, and that's very dangerous because the work is completely different as are the opportunities. 

attaching/creating

There is a big difference between attaching and creating. I think I realize this in obvious circumstances but maybe not in the less obvious...

Sometimes I want to attach to the space others have created, instead of create my own. 
Sometimes I want to attach to the ideas of others, instead of create my own. 
Sometimes I want to attach to the trust of others, instead of create trust of my own. 
Sometimes I want to attach to relationships others have built, instead of creating my own. 

You get the idea. 

I think we sometimes use "opportunity" as an excuse for attaching. They never gave me the opportunity to succeed sometimes means, they never let me attach to their success. Or better, they never let me profit from what their space, ideas, trust, and relationships have earned them. 

Let me on your podcast. Tweet about me to all your followers. Feature us in a Top 10 list. Let me attach to your space, idea, trust, and relationships... I wonder if, in asking for those things, we miss out on the opportunities to create our own space, ideas, trust, and relationships that will, in turn, give us our own opportunities. 

Creating is riskier, harder, and has a much better chance to fail so it's always, at first glance, more appealing to attach. But, it's also very dependent on the host, so we can't complain if we decide to put everything on that choice.  

the best

I was recently with someone who said this:

"I've spent much of my life trying to find what I could be the best at... and therefore I did nothing and became pretty boring."

Fear finds so many creative ways to stop us. 

success and failure

It's been said of money... 

We either live in a state of fear that we will never have enough of it
and, if we get it, fear we will lose what we have.

It's been said of creativity....

We either live in a state of fear we will never succeed creativity
and, if we do, fear we will never match our success. 

It could be said of everything...

We either live in a state of fear we will never get it
and, if we do, fear we will lose it. 

I think true success is no longer living in the state of fear that we will never get it or lose it. 
True failure is still worrying about either. 

scarcity

It's one of those words that's been around forever. I've used it in talks, I've had conversations about it, read about it, listened to others talk about it, and the other day - just the other day - it actually infected me (while reading Big Magic from Liz Gilbert)

If we live in a world of scarcity, it affects everything... and basically always brings fear. 

But if the Divine is operating in this universe and the Divine is infinite, than there is no scarcity. There is enough for everyone. There is abundance. 

Which means...

There is no reason to hold so tightly to new ideas as though someone might steal them. 
There is no reason to be jealous of others' success as though you can't have it. 
There is no reason to be afraid of failure - failure is not missing out on a scarce resource.
There is no reason to be threatened by others. (The founder of Pixar always hired people who he thought might take his job. It made him, and the company, better. And why not? There's enough for everyone.)
There is no reason to think what you have is about to be taken by someone else. 
There is no reason not to give abundantly... and convince others it's a world of abundance. (Hoarding does not come from an abundant worldview but a scarce one.)

Abundance vs scarcity. Just think on it. Most negative feelings come from a scarce worldview.  
 

plenty of time

I'm just returning from a vacation. 

On that vacation I was struck my the amount of time we have. We have time to wait in line for restaurants, wait in line for rides, wait in lines on freeways, wait in line at airports... and I loved the vacation immensely. 

We pay billions of dollars to, according to some definitions, waste time, because what's at the end of that waiting, we deem worth it. 

The answer is never "I'm too busy." 
The question is always "What time am I willing to give up for something better?"

 

the waiting game

There is quite a bit of language and thought spent on...  waiting for someone to do something, waiting for something to have enough momentum of some kind, waiting for some more of something, waiting for some less of something, waiting for the right time, the right place, the right alignment of the universe... and, of course, waiting can be good. More often than not, waiting is an excuse to do nothing until something happens (something which probably never will but at least we can pretend to be practical and productive until it does). 

I'm thinking we need more language and thought spent on... Who is waiting for me and what are they waiting for me to do? And then we do that.  

does it make me better?

Elon Musk says if you ask the right question then the answer comes pretty easy. 

Since I'm currently in love with Elon, I spent some cycles on that thought. I realized I ask a lot of questions like these... 

Is it fun? 
Is it entertaining? 
Is it worth it? 
Will it make me money? 
Will it make me look good? 

Seth Godin, in a great interview with Tim Ferriss, said that he asks "Does it make me a better person?" Or, does it help me evolve? 

Well, that changes things.

Does posting on Facebook make me better?
Does staying at that job make me better? 
Does going to that church make me better?  
Does binge watching House of Cards make me better? 
Does being a Christian make me better? 

So, if we're able to get that one down... I suppose we could move on to the related question of  "Does it make them better?" 

kiss her already

Someone asked me "How do I know when to kiss her?" 

I laughed off the question, at first, and then actually thought about it. We don't ever really know when to kiss her. Or him. We only know when the risk of being rejected by the attempt is low enough that we're comfortable, or at least worth the risk. But isn't that the thrill?

When is getting the kiss not worth a thousand rejections?  

Like most things in life.