christian.

This is Part Four. Part One is here.

—

It seems that many Trump supporters feel some kind of Christian duty to vote for Trump. I don’t fully understand this for a number of reasons although tons of it is related to abortion. (from the last post.) 

Given the results of a recent American Family Survey, Republicans care about religion and Democrats care about racism (we’ll get to racism) but it seems this religion thing is important. 

I’ll be honest. I don’t really understand Christianity anymore. Yes, I was a pastor for 10 years. Yes, I preached out of the Bible - the main holy book for Christianity. Yes, I thought I understood it, but it’s why I left it. I don’t even know what it is anymore (more specifically pertaining to America and more specifically evangelicals) and I don’t like belonging to things that I don’t even know what they are. 

For the life of me I can’t figure out how Obama is not a Christian and Trump is. Or how a Christian can’t vote for Obama and can for Trump. Everything I ever learned about Christianity was that people who were Christians acted like Obama and did not act like Trump. I mean that.

“the understanding (of) Jesus Christ dying for my sins spoke to the humility we all have to have as human beings, that we’re sinful and we’re flawed and we make mistakes, and that we achieve salvation through the grace of God.

But what we can do, as flawed as we are, is still see God in other people and do our best to help them find their own grace,” he added. “So that’s what I strive to do. That’s what I pray to do every day. I think my public service is part of that effort to express my Christian faith.” - Obama

—

"I have great relationship with God. I have great relationship with the Evangelicals,

"I like to be good. I don't like to have to ask for forgiveness. And I am good. I don't do a lot of things that are bad. I try to do nothing that is bad.” - Trump

Okay… that is so damn confusing, just for starters.

I also can’t for the life of me understand how people can celebrate the death of someone - even if it is RBG - who was an arch nemesis. I just don’t get what I’m reading from modern day “pastors” in America. 

So I have to go to the only two things I know. There are two BIG differences between Obama and Trump.

First, the names. Christians can’t have names like Hussein. It’s a dead giveaway. I mean I have to assume this because I have no other reason. (But again Arab Christians who are often brought up in church and politics who we should care about because they are being persecuted - well I mean unless they are being persecuted by Israel, or one of our allies - are sometimes named Hussein. And they worship Allah which is just an Arab name for god and doesn’t mean they are terrorists. I digress.)

I think the name thing may have been forgivable but what isn’t forgivable is number two about Obama - he is a Democrat. And Trump is a Republican. 

It seems that being a Christian is being a Republican and not being a Christian is being a Democrat - I honestly can’t find another thing besides abortion - which we’ve already covered. Which means that Christians aren’t really Christians they are just Republicans - which is fine but I just wish they were honest about having two names for the same thing. 

Okay, so let’s pretend you’re a Christian who’s actually still reading and listening and hasn’t decided that Republican equals Christians and Democrats equal something else. This already puts you in the minority of Christian evangelicals so good on you! 

Let’s talk about Christianity. 

I won’t go into all the things about Christianity that disagree with Trump because this thing would be a thousand pages and people not interested in it would get more bored than they already might be. I’ll stick with two. 

First, Jesus said you can’t worship money and God. Can we talk about money next?

abortion and education.

This is Part Three. Part One is here.

—

I tend to not talk about abortion because I’m a man. As a man, it seems weird to talk about an idea that I can not fully comprehend and will never be able to (carrying a baby). This is why, side note, it’s very easy for men to get on high horses about abortion - and why priests, historically, often made sexual “sins” the big “sins” because they were “celibate” and it was easy to get on a high horse about them. (Side note: before we found out about the issues with boys.)

But, I’m going to talk abut abortion for a second, because it’s apparently leading the charge in reasons people vote for Trump. Yes, that Supreme Court to overturn Roe v Wade and save the country again. This is what people say.

The thing is, I don’t think Republicans actually give a damn about actual abortions.

Wait, real quick, let’s address “pro-life”. It’s been said many times but just be clear pro-life is pro-bull-shit. Pro-life believers are not actually pro most of the things that life entrails. Pro-life is more than pro-not-having-abortions. Pro-life is pro-healthcare, pro-justice reform, pro-childcare, pro-education, pro-climate-change - it’s pro all the things that not only make up life but can cause it to be really hard for some people. For this reason, it seems Democrats are generally far more “pro life” than Republicans. 

But, let’s come back to abortion. Who wants more abortions? No one I know of. I’ve never heard anyone on any medium say that we want more abortion procedures as a country.

All normal people want less abortions. 

Even Democrats. 

Abortion generally goes down under Democrat presidents more than Republican presidents. Democrats, I think, know there is a much better solution to abortion than a law banning it- see Pakistan where they have one of the most strict abortion laws in the world and one of the highest rates as well as most countries where it’s restricted.

What does affect abortion is birth control and comprehensive sex education. (We’re back to birth control?) See the Netherlands (one of the lowest abortion rates in the world.) The strange thing is that I see lots of Trump supporters protesting sex education AND abortion! In polls, Republicans don't care about implementing sex education but they do care about abortion - this seems so strange to me. It’s like not caring about soap but caring about the passing of germs.

Right now in the United States, I’ll let Peggy Orenstein tell us what kind of sex ed we have.

“Well, right this minute, American students are learning that HIV can be spread through sweat or tears, that women who have sex before marriage are like chewed pieces of gum or used pieces of tape or cups full of spit (i.e., no one will want them), that boys should seek out “good girls” who say no to sex, that condoms are useless against HIV a third of the time, that the pill has an 80 percent failure rate, that abortion causes cancer. I fear for those young people, I do, and for good reason: despite a federal investment in abstinence-only education to date of over two billion dollars (and counting), teenagers exposed to its lessons have been found to neither significantly delay intercourse compared to others nor have fewer partners; they do, however, have higher rates of pregnancy and STDs. Equally concerning, while pleasure-based sexuality education that includes practicing refusal skills has been found to reduce rates of assault, abstinence-only programs have not.” - Peggy Orenstein Girls & Sex

Despite all of this, abortion rates are still doing down in the U.S. and have been for a while - even while it’s legal and with terrible sex education to boot.

Because, again, no one wants more abortions. And because people are being better educated about sex (thank god), as well as finding better access to brith control, despite the people who don’t want them to have either. Well, there is also this whole sex recession we’re in which is a whole other problem and probably one we should be addressing and trying to find solutions for way more than abortion. You can read the amazing article here.

I honestly really do try to understand this whole abortion argument and I honestly can’t. But I think it has to do a lot with Christianity - the next topic.

COVID.

This is Part Two. Part One is here.

—

Can we talk about COVID? Get this one out of the way?

I hear so many things and find it so frustrating that somehow a global pandemic affecting just about every country in the world has become something that indicates who someone is going to vote for in America in November. It would seem in America we really do believe that everything revolves around us. We’re really caught up in this idea that we’re the sun and all the countries revolve around us.

Some people are saying they are “over COVID” or that they don't “believe in it” or that “it’s going to end in November” which is fine but if someone said they are “over birth control” or don’t “believe in pregnancy” or “STD’s will all end in November” it really doesn’t change the reality of the actual situation.

Things are very much NOT normal. Every professional sport is playing to an empty or close to empty stadium/arena. Airlines are running about a 1/3 of what they were last year and are about to go out of business. The hotel industry is bleeding money. Weddings (a main business of my wife) are not happening or at least anywhere close to what they once did. Concerts (we have many friends in the music industry) just don’t exist. I can’t go to Canada for god’s Sake and thousands of small businesses are going under while people are being evicted around the nation.

Statistically, 200,000 Americans have died. We are the 9th highest death rate per million in the world at a cool 597 per million.  I mean we definitely aren’t the worst but hundreds of countries are doing better than us. Wuhan is having club nights and gigantic pool parties again - and their country is operating normally. Now, THAT is when we can say we are “over it” when I’m having a rager of a pool party with thousands of people in my back yard and a DJ and neon lights and flying to Europe the next day. By the way, China’s death rate per million is 3.4.

Yes 600 compared to 3.4. Yes I get China is an “authoritarian communist cesspool of evil” (that makes all of the things we buy) but they are also 3 times as big population-wise. (Just to be clear many economic experts think our economy would be stronger and not have all the issues we’re having if we had been more strict with lockdowns early on - like China.) 

There is also this idea of some states doing well and we can let the others go down but that’s not how countries work. For now, we’re ONE country and countries depend on each other for success.

Let’s take Idaho. Idaho is a state that falls if the country falls and rises if the country rises. And even though Idaho might hate liberal New York it gets a shit ton of money from New York and other states. California pays a huge chunk of federal taxes. 10 states give more money in taxes than they get back from the federal government, including Washington. So when Washington’s economy tanks Idaho receives less money from the federal government. So every Idahoan should be rooting for New York, Washington and California for that matter - because they are their fellow citizens - but also because if they fail, Idaho will not enjoy the federal money they receive and like very much. Washington is rooting for Idaho because we like… potatoes and Priest Lake.

But, honestly, can’t we all root for each other like we used to do?

We need the entire country to be over COVID before any of us can really be over it because if 25% of Americans are still scared, the economy will not recover. If Europe won’t let us travel the economy won’t recover. You see, being over it, or “not believing it” does nothing for the ALL - only for the YOU. We ALL have to be over it and we won’t be until those pool parties and clubs open again. Right?

There is some pushback on stats in general - as in we can’t trust them.

If we can’t trust statistics then we can’t talk about anything. I mean that quite literally. We can’t talk about the number of abortions, we can’t talk about unemployment numbers, we can’t talk about undocumented immigrants coming in… we can’t talk about a booming business, cancer, starvation, pollution, inflation, or, again, much of ANYTHING.
Statistics from reputable sources are very important. If I’m wrong on any, feel free to correct me. (Note, watch The Social Dilemma to see how important reputable sources are - and to get off of Instagram.)

So can we all please wear masks, please social distance and please not have rager pool parties… yet. They decrease the odds of bad things and increase the odds of good things, which we have to remember. Odds. Odds are not 100% so there are always exceptions (I’ve partied all summer and didn’t get sick) but they always show up in larger settings (200,000 dead and economic suffering).

Let’s get back to real normal, real soon and I need you and you need me to do this right. Right?

the moment.

This is Part One.

—

Every now and then throughout history come these momentous decisions that alter the trajectory of humanity and affect hundreds of thousands of people, if not millions.

How’s that for dramatic? 

Everything in me wants to say we are not facing one of those… because it does feel overly dramatic to say we are and my family already thinks I’m dramatic.

So, let’s be clear, this might not be a big moment we’re about to face. But, and this is a very big but, we might also be. I’m sure the people who were living in Germany in the early 30’s didn’t think they weren’t facing that big of a moment in time either. 

Speaking of the 30’s and Germany, let’s talk about Hitler, because nothing tones down the dramatic like bringing up Hitler. 

1. Some people say voting doesn’t matter and when they do we need to remember that Hitler was elected. In other words, millions of Jews, and thousands of American soldiers, and countless more were killed because people voted. Voting definitely matters.

2. Some people say “I’m just not that into politics”, and when they do we need to remember millions of Jews were killed because of …politics. So, I appreciate the sentiment but it’s like me saying I’m not into gravity. In addition, saying “I’m not into politics” is a political statement because it’s an opinion about politics. It’s saying I don’t care about stuff that affects millions of people - which I don’t think anyone wants to really say.

3. Really nice people, hard working dads and sons, mothers and daughters, and sisters and brothers who went to church and brought fruitcakes to their neighbors at Christmas voted for Hitler. Hitler wasn’t elected by a bunch of demons masquerading around as German citizens. Or even white supremacists. Or even mean, hateful people. He was elected by some people who didn’t think voting mattered (or his opposition was not elected because people didn’t think voting mattered), some people who weren’t that into politics, and some people who just wanted to make Germany great again.

Okay, so what if we pretend for a moment that November 3rd is a momentous decision - that it could affect the trajectory of millions of people?

If it does not end up mattering and we pretended it did, great, not that big of a deal.

If it does matter though and we pretended it did not, well, I mean, history has many examples of that ending up really, really sucking bad.

the white vote. wow.

I was really surprised to read this one. Maybe because I hadn’t thought much about it or maybe because I thought better of us. I’m wrapping up the book Caste, which one more time, you need to read. It is essential reading for Americans. Essential.

I don’t really have a lot of commentary for what I read in it last night. I suppose not much is needed.

Lyndon B. Johnson, after signing the 1964 Civil Rights Act, is said to have predicted that the Democrats would lose the South for a generation for having stood up for the citizenship rights of African-Americans. That prophecy would prove to be correct but also an understatement…

In the more than half century since that prophecy of 1964, no Democrat running for president has ever won a majority of the white vote. Lyndon Johnson was the last Democrat to win the presidency with a majority of the white electorate. Since that time, the Democrat who came closest, who attracted the largest percentage of white voters—at 48 percent—was fellow southerner Jimmy Carter in 1976. Only three Democrats have made it to the Oval Office since the Johnson and the civil rights era—Carter, Obama, and Bill Clinton, who won with 39 percent of the white vote in 1992 and 44 percent in 1996.

about that silver lining...

Yeah, so there is one difference that we haven't had before in human history. And it’s a pretty big one that makes that silver lining really tiny.

A really big difference.

Historically, exponentially, large.

Go watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix for all the details.

But, I’ll say this, we’ve always needed that 40% to do stuff and one of those things to do is to work their asses off to resist being manipulated by systems that are using them to make money and to work hard to sift through all the junk out there to find the truth.

And, to really pressure government for some regulations with this thing we call the Internet.

the silver lining.

First, the bad news.

Read Fantasyland and you’ll learn America was founded by racist, conspiracy theory loving, cultists. I mean that’s a little harsh but stick with me.

Read Caste and you’ll learn America was also founded with a caste system similar to say… India (India has four main delineations and a fifth that is so deplorable it isn’t even worth mentioning, according to them - the untouchables.) You’ll learn that blacks have basically been our lowest caste since our founding on par with the Indian untouchables and we’ve always treated them as such and react to people (good and bad) who make sure we’re in our proper place.

Read this article and you’ll learn about 20% of Americans believe in outrageous off-the-charts conspiracy theories like COVID tents being used for sex trafficking and blood drinking. (Yeah.)

Wait, the news is about to start getting better.

Read Truth: A Brief History of Total Bullsh•t or Humans: A Brief History of How We F*cked It All Up or just about any history book including Since Yesterday (a book about the Great Depression) or a plethora of other books and you’ll discover that racist, conspiracy theory loving, cultists, greedy bastards, con-men and con-women, liars, dehumanizing, fear mongers, manipulators and people who want to be manipulated are not just an American thing nor are they are a new thing. Whether P.T. Barnum is making shit up and selling it, or farmers are protesting immigrants in the 1800’s, or giving people free health care is equal to communism, it’s been the same. exact. story.

On the one hand this can be depressing. Is it ever going to change?

On the other hand (I said the good news would come) this can be great news. Things aren’t worse than they’ve ever been. In fact, arguably, they are better. Turning this fucked up ocean liner that is limping on one engine around (or at least changing course) is slow slow slow… but it does seem to be slowly turning.

Coming back to that article about 20% of Americans who are wack job blood sex ring conspiracy believers. Let’s say 20% of Americans are pretty much nuts. Let’s say another 20% are pretty much die-hard Republicans no matter what and they view voting Democrat as akin to making out with Satan. Let’s say another 20% of Americans are pretty much die-hard Democrats and they view voting a Republican as akin to making out with Hitler.

60% of Americans are kinda not useful for change.
We’ve got about 40% of Americans left.

It’s these 40% that can create big change. It’s these 40% that have always led the way and are still leading the way. I don’t know what percent of them actually do stuff but it’s probably half and half? It’s that percentage that makes America what it is. As it goes up things get better, as it goes down, things get worse. I think more are doing stuff today but the jury is probably still out.

What’s the point?

1. There aren’t more wacks in this country. They’ve all been given free ways to vocalize their beliefs (thank you internet) now, so it seems that way

2. We aren’t more ignorant. We’re just more aware of the ignorance (thank you internet).

3. We’re aren’t more polarized. We’re just more aware of it (thank you internet).

4. We’ve never been that great of a country. In fact, we’ve been pretty shitty. (thank you books).

5. BUT, there’s also been some great people in this country doing great things and there might be more of them today (no thanks to you internet).

6. BUT, if you look back at history it’s a very very very fine line that separates Hitler rising to power and killing millions and just a wack job leader trying to run a country for a few years and fading away. It’s might even be dependent on that percent of the 40% that do the work to educate themselves, others, and take action to grow, evolve, and change.

7. If you’re reading this, you’re probably a part of that 40%. Do shit. It matters. Say shit. It matters. Don’t get depressed but don’t get complacent. Don’t be afraid but don’t be naively comfortable. Things aren’t worse. But they might get worse. But, they might be getter.
   
   It’s up to you. And me. The silver lining is that it’s the same as it has always been, which means the bad guys haven’t won. Yet.

Yeah Socialism. What about Fascism?

It has been the go-to for generations of Republicans: the fear of socialism and communism. It started as soon as the name Marx was known and hasn’t stopped any time some good ole fears need to be stoked.

Besides the fact that most people who are scared of socialism don't know what it means (I always hear “lazy people getting free money”) and besides the fact that most people still have absolutely no idea why Marxism is bad, or how it’s related to socialism and/or communism (or isn’t) and are very unaware of how much of Marx’s idea we actually live in the West, let’s just pretend for a second that socialism is terrible.

Let’s pretend it would just take your money and give it to all the lazy drug addicts. Let’s pretend the Soviet Union was a Marxist country (it wasn’t) or that Venezuela’s economy collapsed because of socialism (it did not).

But let’s go with that.

The thing is, there is also another very real and dangerous possibility for America: Fascism. Now, of course, I understand, we could all play the same game with Fascism - we don't understand what it means and it hasn’t actually destroyed any countries.

So, let’s just go with Hitler and Nazi Germany. We all understand what that was and what it did.

Erich Fromm is one of my new favorite authors and thank you to Isabel Wilkerson the author of Caste for introducing me to him.

(Side note: go read Caste now. It is absolutely essential reading for every American. It’s beautifully written prose that will penetrate your heart and mind and open your eyes.)

Back to Fromm. He was a social psychologist (brilliant) who also happened to be a German Jew who fled Nazi Germany so he has lots of valuable insight into Nazi Germany and Racial America (this is a lot of the book Caste along with the Indian caste system).

Fromm wrote this, as quoted by Wilkerson in Caste (along with some Sakurai). Just read these passages a few times and honestly ask yourself how scary socialism is… compared with where we are much more likely headed.

“The essence of this overestimation of one’s own position and the hate for all who differ from it is narcissism,” wrote the psychologist and social theorist Erich Fromm. “He is nothing,” Fromm wrote, “but if he can identify with his nation, or can transfer his personal narcissism to the nation, then he is everything.”

A person deeply invested in his group’s dominance “has a euphoric ‘on-top-of-the-world’ feeling, while in reality he is in a state of self-inflation,” Fromm wrote. “This leads to severe distortion of his capacity to think and to judge….He and his are over-evaluated. Everything outside is under-evaluated.” And underneath may lie the fear that he cannot live up to the constructed ideal of his own perfection.

The social theorist Takamichi Sakurai wrote bluntly: “Group narcissism leads people to fascism. An extreme form of group narcissism means malignant narcissism, which gives rise to a fanatical fascist politics, an extreme racialism.”

In both instances, Fromm found the working class to be among the most susceptible, harboring an “inflated image of itself as the most admirable group in the world, and of being superior to another racial group that is singled out as inferior,” he wrote. A person in this group “feels: ‘even though I am poor and uncultured I am somebody important because I belong to the most admirable group in the world—I am white’; or ‘I am Aryan.’ ”

A group whipped into narcissistic fervor “is eager to have a leader with whom it can identify,” Fromm wrote. “The leader is then admired by the group which projects its narcissism onto him.”

The right kind of leader can inspire a symbiotic connection that supplants logic. The susceptible group sees itself in the narcissistic leader, becomes one with the leader, sees his fortunes and his fate as their own. “The greater the leader,” Fromm wrote, “the greater the follower….The narcissism of the leader who is convinced of his greatness, and who has no doubts, is precisely what attracts the narcissism of those who submit to him.”

can't we all just get along?

I mean, I don’t think we can.

I can't “get along” with proud racists.
I can’t “get along” with violent extremists who think some humans are less than human.
I can’t “get along” with people who proudly dis-believe scientific evidence, facts, research, and knowledge just because they don’t like the implication of said evidence, facts, research and knowledge on their own life. .
I can't “get along” with people who don’t give a damn about the planet, or who would rather think short term instead of long term or who value money over everything else.

If HItler asked me to just get along with him, am I supposed to?

I don’t really know what to do with any of this either, except to say this goal of “getting along” may be the wrong goal?

10 years ago...

10 years ago tomorrow was the launch Sunday of a new church that some amazing friends and I (along with so much help from my wife) started. It was called Branches. We would always have quite the anniversary parties (especially the milestones) and if I was still there, I imagine our 10 year anniversary would have been a real banger.

But, I left Branches over 2 years ago.

Since it has been 10 years I figured I had to acknowledge it somehow - so here are 10 thoughts around who I was then, the experience, and who I am now. For those of you who don't give a damn about church or religion, I think these learning points are bigger than either. So don’t worry.

—

10. I loved every minute of being the pastor of Branches (okay most minutes.) I always stood behind what I said and what we were trying to do. I loved how the church pushed boundaries, how people reacted, and what we were able to do.

Importantly, that’s why I quit, when I did. So that I could type what I just typed two and a half years after quitting. (My pet peeve is people saying that I was burned out. If burned out means quitting before you can say you loved every minute, fine. But to me, burned out implies you’re already not loving every minute and that’s why it bugs me.)

9. People have a very hard time understanding how you can love something so much and then leave it and be so happy without it. (This is many break-ups.) I think it’s especially hard with “church”. Does it mean everything you said was a lie? Does it mean you were faking? Does it mean none of it was real? (Again many break-ups.)

No it doesn’t mean any of that. It just means people change, and some people have the guts to change their life when they change. (Sadly many don’t.) I think the people that can’t understand how you could mean something a few years ago and not mean it now, have never experienced a radical change themselves. So if you can't understand such change, you might interpret it as a red flashing warning sign that you should change more. (The first break-up is always the hardest because we can’t understand how someone could change. And then we change and understand how. :)

8. I wish our society valued leaving things we weren’t passionate as much as it values finding a new passion. I wish it valued people quitting a job more than accepting a job. Let’s be real. It takes far more courage to quit a job that no longer does it for you than to start one that might. We should reflect that in our society. (In case it’s not obvious, religious society should really really really really really really really reflect it.)

7. I’ve always said it’s easier to start fresh than to try and change something. I still hold to it. Part of what made Branches so cool was that it was brand new. I would argue that “brand new” smell kept it going for about 5 years. It was then people started to get bored, you could see it. They started to go to the next shiny thing. It was way more work to keep people. This is way bigger than “churches”. We spend a lot of time trying to change stuff only because we’re afraid of killing stuff and then starting over. Which I understand, but I wonder if it’s better to kill things and let something new grow - which is ironically much of the Jesus story, in my opinion.

6. This is a very “Christian” one so I apologize for those of you who don’t care. But there’s this verse in the Bible that might be the most confusing and controversial verse there is: it basically says that whomever blasphemies the Holy Spirt commits the unforgivable sin - which is no small thing. I mean, that’a a giant verse and concept and it’s one that most people say - well if you’re worried about doing it, you haven’t done it. (Just to let kids sleep at night.) But I have a new take on it. Jesus said the Holy Spirit would come and teach after he left. (Again, if you’re not a Christian that sounds weird but if you think of a guru saying “hey don’t worry about learning new stuff after I’m dead, there is mystery of the Universe - the spirit of humanity and creation and learning - she’ll come and tell you more than you can imagine. Just pay attention to her.) Anyway, my take is this; if you want to start getting close to unforgivable sins, start thinking you have nothing left to learn. That’s dangerous fucking territory.

5. Speaking of Christian… Am I a Christian? It’s funny how often I hear some form of “people are wondering.. is Ryan even a Christian anymore…” from someone. Let’s put this in language we understand these days: If Christianity were a brand I’d be boycotting it. I wouldn’t support it. I wouldn’t buy from it. I wouldn’t endorse it. I think it’s a garbage brand, honestly, that stands for more atrocious things than good things and I think more people should boycott it so that it goes out of business (literally).

4. They say food takes a few weeks to leave your system. I think jobs might take a couple of years. I left that job 2 1/2 years ago and feel like it took a long time for the habits, the chemical releases, the ego, the attachments, and just the whole phase of life to leave. That stuff gets imbedded in us and it takes a lot of work to break off those crusty chunks of metal that form around our core identities so that we can find who we are, again, without that job.

3. People generally first believe what they want to believe and they make the evidence fit what they want to believe. People are incredibly susceptible to good con-men (and woman) - by the way the word con came from confidence - especially con men who are selling them something they really want to believe. In other words people are kind of stupid unless they work really hard to not be. A lot of people in a lot of churches don't work very hard to not be stupid - they just make all the evidence fit with what the con man is telling them - and that scares me more than anything. Was I ever that con-man? Probably.

2. Along those lines… there is a very fine line between you aren’t right and you aren’t right…yet… and only time will tell the difference between those two. I do know that if no one ever risks not being “right” than there is no chance of ever being right eventually. In other words, I said things that people didn’t respond too well to until years later and they’ve said to me “I guess you were right back then.” Some things they still haven't responded well to. Maybe I was wrong. Or maybe it wasn’t or still isn’t the right time, but, again, it will only be the right time if someone is wrong at some point. Every eventual right starts with a wrong. (I have no more ways to say the same thing.) Except, this isn’t about being right and wrong either - it’s about evolving the world.

1. My dad has said a few times that a “church” should just close its doors after 10 years. I couldn’t agree more. But I think it speaks to something bigger. A decade is no joke. It’s probably smart to take a good look at whatever we’ve been doing for a decade and really see if we should still be doing it. It’s probably good to give humans more options to leave things they’ve been doing for a decade than pressure to keep them in it (i.e. politicians, pastors, C.E.O.’s, etc…)

I feel like my life has kind of rolled along in 10 year chunks. Game Design. Pastor. Now. I don’t really know what now is… yet. Maybe that’s because it feels like the 10 year pastor chunk has just really ended (although it was about 12) or maybe because the next chunk is more of a not knowing chunk. Either way I’m excited about it. I hope you are excited about whatever chunk you’re in or about to be in or wrapping up.

learn from Poyais.

The year was 1823 when the first settlers arrived to Poyais.

Poyais, they had been told, was a fertile land filled with plentiful water and rich soil. The capital was St. Joseph, home to 1500 people, and built with stunning European design of opera houses, banks, and more. It had been a long journey, crossing the Atlantic Ocean and they had given up everything to get to Poyais, because, after all, who wouldn’t want to go and live in Paradise, especially with some kind of leadership position?

Long story, short, most of the “settlers” died from disease, shipwrecks, and overall depression at being deceived in a giant con. Poyais didn’t exist and never had. One would be tempted to say it was the greatest con in history but there are lots more.

Gregor MacGregor ran the con. He convinced hundreds of smart people to sell everything they had, quit their jobs, and give him money for the chance to live in Poyais. He developed a brilliant marketing campaign (propaganda) with pamphlets, fake money, great stories, amazing pictures, and books to prove how great a place Poyais was and that you should hurry to get your place on a boat that was going there to help settle it.

You can google the story or go read the amazing book Truth: A Brief History of Total Bullsh•t by Tom Phillips, from which I pretty much stole all of the above. You should read the book.

Later Phillips references another book The Ponzi Scheme Puzzle (from the reviews it looks pretty bad) in which the author studied the profile of con artists and came to this conclusion:

Some of the traits she identifies are unsurprising: con artists are lacking in empathy, narcissistic, greedy and self-justifying. When caught, they will deny and deflect, blaming just about anybody else rather than taking responsibility. They often justify their actions with the belief that they’re simply reflecting the behavior of others: everyone else is crooked, too, and the victims deserved it because they were equally greedy and corrupt.

But that’s not all. In addition, con artists often have what Frankel calls an “addiction to unrealistic dreams and overwhelming ambitions”; comparing the skills of the con artist to that of an actor, she suggests, “It may well be that con artists act the character they have long been dreaming of.”

And then this:

“Their belief can make them believable.”

All that to say I spend a lot of time wondering how the hell people can actually support and believe Donald Trump, after all this time and all these lies. But, it’s not that hard, really, we’re desperate to believe fantasy, especially fantasies that promise some kind of utopian life that can be ours. We want to believe it so badly that we will believe any kind of lunatic who offers us the opportunity to get it.

Of course, the same could be said of Biden and every leader and every visionary and every religious figure. Which is probably smart to spend a few cycles thinking on.

For now, beware of anyone promising Poyais, especially narcissistic, greedy ones that never take responsibly for anything and think everyone around them is as greedy and corrupt as they are. You might end up broke with malaria in the jungles of Honduras and not much else.

of course they would.

Just a simple thought experiment again. (One that’s been done a few times before.)

If a guy showed up claiming we should treat everyone equally, that money is perhaps the most dangerous thing, even more dangerous than power, that violence and guns are never the answer, that immigrants are welcome, that love is more important than anything else - like actually anything else… and that the religious in America are generally egotistically, hypocritical, jack asses… who would want to kill him?

Probably not the liberal atheists. Probably not the Hollywood elite. Probably not even most Democrats.

I would wager most evangelicals would want to.

And it’s crazy that when this guy showed up 2,000 years ago with basically the same message he also added, you’ll know them by what kind of choices they make in their lives… not what kind of god they profess to believe in.

Anyway…

is looting violence?

I was just reading through this article which attacks a defender of looting and I had a realization: yes, violence never wins, but is looting violence?

I think there is where the real divide on pro-looting vs anti-looting comes in or maybe better said, it seems like “proper” looting should be defined.

Is it violent to burn down buildings? What if insurance pays to rebuild the shop?

Is it violent to break a window and steal items? What if the company is worth millions? What if the company is a small business? What if both are compensated for their losses?

Is it violent to harm humans? (I think we’d all agree… no.)

Is it violent to harm humans in an attempt to defend the burning down of buildings? (not sure we all agree.)

Is it violent to break stuff (like tables in a temple)?

Is it violent to break a law (Gandhi Salt Laws)?

I certainly don’t have the answers. But I know in our run for non-violent third way alternatives (which I agree with) we sometimes have to take the time to better define “violence” rather than assume we’re all on the same page.

holy fucking hell.

Do these Christians ever stop with their utter nonsense? They’ve raised $300K on the Christian version of GoFundMe (yes had to have a Christian version - makes perfect sense) for a kid that illegally owned a gun and killed protesters. Just read a few of the comments. They would be entertaining if they weren’t so fucking sad and terrifying.

“Prayers for this warrior who loves god, family, and country. I pray I have the courage to act like Kyle, protecting the innocent when the time comes. I believe the time will be soon. god speed. will try to send more if budget allows.”

“Philippians 1:28 ---without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will destroyed, but that you will be saved- and that by God.”

“God bless you Kyle, you did everything right by helping people to keep their livelyhood. You were helping people in the street & in their businesses & homes. You did everything right & nothing wrong.”

Yeah I just say fuck a lot these days.

Fuck.

powerless power.

“With great power comes with great responsibility.” It’s one of those rules of nature. It might as well be gravity. It’s an undeniable truth.

But, it’s much more fun to have power without responsibility. But, it’s also hard to deny. So, what I’ve noticed is a tendency to limit the power.

God. The great omnipotent force of the universe. The most powerful being to ever exist.

Yet, I grew up with the thinking “give god credit for the good things but don’t blame god for the bad things”. Well, what kind of all powerful being is that? This being can’t prevent rape, murder, torture, pedophilia, genocide… hell, not even a hurricane?

Okay, so this being isn’t that powerful. And so, it doesn’t have to have that much responsibility for the state of the world.

Trump. The greatest president to ever exist in the greatest country to ever exist.

Yet, all I hear is that Trump can’t be blamed for COVID, for unemployment, for racial injustice, for the unrest in Democratic cities, for much of anything, honestly. This president can’t prevent all the things that he says we should be scared of…. unless he gets more power.

Okay, so this president isn’t that powerful. He needs more power.

And this is the scary thing with both gods and presidents - they will always claim the need for more power, not more responsibility. It’s a rather amazing branding and propaganda job, really. Yes I’m in charge but when I’m in charge other people are really in charge and so I need to continue to be in charge to prevent these other people from being in charge even though they are always in charge…

Well how about this: let’s talk about the power you have, what you’ve done with it, and go from there, before we start handing out more power? Oh, I think there’s some parable about this too.

anger zen.

The proceeding poem is from my second "single" Anger Zen. Volume 2 from my conversations with "the teacher" this one is exclusively about “religion”.

Available on Amazon now! Easy to read. Easy to think on.

Paperback and Kindle. $2.99 and $5.99.

The newly released second "single" from Ryan Miller and "the teacher". Given the racial turmoil and general state of the world, Ryan managed to spend another day with the mysterious "teacher". He took notes on their conversations and tried to soak up as much wisdom as he could. In this second volume of some of their conversations "the teacher" talks through a variety of topics related to religion from "anger" and "guilt" to "sin" and "zen". Each of the 26 chapters is short and concise - perfect for the times - but packed with wisdom, especially needed, it would seem, in 2020. Read them in 20 seconds but think about them for 20 days.Relax and learn with the teacher.

I can't breathe.

I can’t breathe 
The world watched 
This blue take another black life
His knee representing millions more
George, another link in the chain 
Suffocating the breadth of history 
Didn’t even seem to phase the man who swore 
To protect and serve 
But it’s never bothered most of those
Who benefit from these old ways

But all lives matter they say 

I can’t breathe
The ventilator is doing its best
To replace her COVID lungs
Another virus spreading and stealing
Spreading ignorance, stealing unity
No more masks they chant
Because, ironically, they can’t breathe 
At least not like they are used to 
And they have rights you know

But all lives matter they say

I can’t breathe
Were the last words
That slipped from his lips
Hanging from the rope
Clinging to his rainbow flag
And equally colorful heart 
His dad forbade him from using 
Because the Bible does too
He preached the only thing worse
than slavery Is being gay 

But all lives matter they say 

I can’t breathe
Trying to keep the water out
Trying to keep his head up
While the boat sinks
Along with his dreams
On the way to the land of opportunity
That told him he wasn’t welcome 
Because it’s already full of people
Too different and too needy 
And it wants to be great again

But all lives matter it says 

I can’t breathe
She cries from under him
I know there’s a lot to see
But don’t forget about me
Bearing the weight 
of his toxic masculinity
In my bedroom
You like it he lies
and my boardroom
You can’t be CEO he sighs

But all lives matter he says

I can’t breathe
the poor plead
Under the weight of corporate greed 
I myself can’t breathe 
Under the weight of ignorance and pride
And I feel guilty because 
I can 
In privilege and fragility and 
supremacy that I abhor 
And benefit from at the same time

I can’t breathe
It’s Jesus this time
If he’s somehow alive 
he must be living in hell
Constantly begging for life 
while his followers steal it from him again.
Repeatedly killing this poor guy. 
Who probably wonders why
They still don’t listen to anything he ever said
Too busy worshiping the dead 

But don’t worry they pray. 
Dear god show us the way
Jesus come back soon
They plead in the most ironic way

It’s hard to see 
When you have your eyes closed

But all lives matter they say.

This poem appears in the book Anger Zen.

attention zoo.

Things have been a little more important than a new book lately so, a little late, here’s the announcement for my new "single" called “Attention Zoo”. 

It’s the shortest book I’ve ever released (though it’s only Volume 1) and it’s about as easy to read as they get. I managed to spend a day with the "teacher" not too long ago. I took some notes on our conversations and this is the result. Concise to the point wisdom. 

Available as paperback and kindle. $6.99 and $2.99. Enjoy! 

universe.

“How do you think the universe was formed?” I asked.

“In a way, I will never discover.”

“What about why the universe formed?”

“To keep me searching for an answer my entire life.” 

“Not very satisfying.”

“Pride and certainty are toxic to humility and wonder. The mirage of control creates chaos. The universe knows this and will make sure to never poison us with too much of either, so that we wake up every day and find a reason to smile.”

yes.

“Can I hit you in the head with a stick?” he asked. 

“Not this time,” I answered. “I’ve learned.”

“What have you learned?”

“To use the word no.”

“And how did you learn that?” 

I had to think for a second.

“Have you ever wondered how it is that three little letters can be so powerful as to give us the key to open the doors of our prisons of fear? To teach us all that we must learn? How is it that we refuse to use them just because we carried a sting for a few seconds?”

“It’s sometimes risky,” I answered.

“For every yes, there is a no. For every no, there is a yes. There were two men. Each had ten coins. They both loved peaches. One man bought 100 peaches. He ate them every day for three months while the other man salivated at the sweet juice and nourishing flavor. But he had a bought a tree instead. So he watered it and took care of it and waited. For three years. After the first man was long out of peaches the other man had so many he did not know what to do with them all. 

They each said yes and they each said no, just to different things. I will say in your culture you much prefer the peaches to the tree. I’m not sure that is always most helpful for you.”