now that I have...

Now that I was a pastor for 10+ years and am no longer one, I feel like I've earned the right to say this:

"Following Jesus" is not "becoming a pastor". I just heard it again from a pastor who said he was "climbing the corporate ladder" and then decided to follow Jesus and go "all in"... and ended up quitting his job and becoming a pastor. 

And? I would ask? And... then.... you... what? 

I once quit my corporate job and made much less money to become a pastor too because I thought the job would be more fulfilling and interesting than what I was doing, even though it happened to pay less. Pastors or non-profit employees are not more "Jesus" than CEO's, nurses, Uber drivers, game designers and pilots. I think we know this.

Side note: It does help leaders of churches and non-profits pay their employees less, because, after all, it is a more Jesus job - that's got to be worth something. 

Just another reminder: God is not here or there, just both. 

two fundamentalists.

Two men walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the first man and sighs. "Yes, we do serve beer here." 

The man looks around, sad. He sees people drinking wine, of course, but also beer. Laughing and smiling and raising their glasses. He looks down in disgust. 

"And," the bartender continues, looking at the second man. "Yes, we do serve wine here." 

The second man looks around and sighs. He sees people drinking beer, of course, but also wine. Laughing and smiling and raising their glasses. He looks down in disgust. 

Both men leave the bar, leaving the bartender to mutter something under his breath. 

Each of the men give one another a final stare with a mean look. "I'm sorry you will never appreciate the flavor of beer," the first man says. 

"And I'm sorry you will never appreciate wine," the second man says. 

A final glance of judgment is thrown out before they return to their homes where their wives welcome them with beer, to the first man, and wine, to the second. 

They both sit at their respective tables in their respective houses and, of course, say a prayer before eating. 

The first man says, "Dear God, thank you that we have tasted beer. Thank you that we don't drink wine. And thank you that someday, everyone will drink only beer and that the evil people drinking wine will see the truth." 

The second man, in his house not too far away says, "Dear God, thank you that we have tasted wine. Thank you that we don't drink beer. And thank you that someday, everyone will drink only wine and that the evil people drinking beer will see the truth. "

Yeah, pretty silly story, right? 

the gods of guns.

The gun gods offer us much: control and power. A leg up on fear. 
But they require much: blood. On a regular basis. Of the young. 
It is worth the sacrifice, we say, without words.  

And then, we laugh at the lunacy of those primitives who used to bring their children to a carved rock, believing their crops would receive rain. 

How sad, we say. How fortunate, we're so much more advanced. 

let’s do this one more time.

It’s called gun legislation. It prevents people from shooting other human beings with guns and stealing their lives. It works. It prevents tragedies like we just had again.

Again. Again. Again.

We know it works like we know the Earth is round. There are some who continue to claim the Earth isn’t round and there are some who continue to claim gun control doesn’t work. Those people are one in the same at this point. 

So there will be more shootings.

Again. Again. Again.

Until this country stops living in ignorance and insisting on things that are not true. Until then, the rest of the world will continue to shake their heads and mourn with us, wondering why we worship the gods of guns with such devotion.

love and pain.

It's Valentines Day and Ash Wednesday (the start of Lent). Rough combination at first glance. 

But, wow, are love and pain much more intertwined than we sometimes want to admit... 

Can love exist without the risk of pain? 
Without pain? 

I don't know. 

Can pain exist without the risk of love?
Without love? 

I don't know. 

I do know that from dust we've come and to dust we will return is a pretty true statement no matter your belief system. And it's that very truth that makes love all the more valuable and astounding and worth appreciating. 

I hope you can appreciate love today. And ashes. 

where is it?

I don't know. 

Maybe it's there? Have you looked? 

Or there? Have you looked there? 

Or way over there? Have you explored? 

It's amazing how often we think we know the answer to the question, without ever actually confirming it. 

welcoming, inclusive, enlightened.

Damn you Twitter. I mean seriously, another thread of Christians arguing about what it means to be a Christian and a Jesus follower and a progressive and a conservative and all the big names are weighing in and wow.... 

I had 5 responses written before remembering that I made a promise to myself to never engage in debate via Twitter. 

So, I'll vent here. 

It all started with Jonathan Merritt saying this: Progressive Christians like to pretend they are welcoming, inclusive, enlightened and all those nasty conservatives are hateful, oppressive ogres. But many progressive Christians have become what they claim to dislike so much.

You could read the entirety of the Tweet thread here if you care. 

But, it does bring up a point that is brought up often. And one I've thought a lot about because I've been accused of it many times, myself. 

You can't claim to be welcoming and inclusive to everyone and then not welcome and include people who disagree with you. 

So, a few things I think we need to start getting out there into the world. 

1. Being hateful and oppressive anytime, to anyone, is not a good thing for the world. 

2. Claiming to be welcoming and inclusive to everyone, is really tough. Even Jesus wasn't.  Unless we think calling someone a "son of Hell" and a "brood of vipers" (along with some other gems) is welcoming and inclusive...

3. To claim all conservatives are hateful and oppressive ogres is ridiculous. The word "all" is usually a bad sign in any statement. (It's wild that the Christian tradition says all things will be reconciled.)

4. Someone can claim to be welcoming and inclusive to everyone except people who are hateful, oppressive ogres - especially those who do it in the name of a hateful, oppressive, ogre God. By the way, that is what I claim. (Yes, this is not perfect, because my judgment of who is hateful and oppressive and an ogre can be poisoned by ego and shame and pride. I admit that.) It's what I strive to do better though while striving not to be hateful and oppressive and an ogre, myself. (And what I think Jesus generally modeled for us.) 

5. Welcoming and inclusion is not the same as love. Jesus loved the world, including Pharisees. But, he did not invite the hateful, oppressive Pharisees to be his disciples and to hang out with him at the parties of prostitutes, tax collectors and others... and when he did, they usually left pretty quick. 

6. Do hateful, oppressive, dehumanizing ogres want to be at parties of welcoming and inclusion? I feel like they wouldn't like that party in the same way I don't want to be at a White Supremacist party. I'm fine they don't welcome and include me. I'm honored. So, I don't argue that White Supremacists should include me? (This is why Heaven would honestly be Hell to lots of hateful, oppressive people who think that some people don't belong there.) 

7. I'm not welcoming and inclusive to everyone, but I really want to be to the people who feel like no one is welcoming and inclusive to them and especially to the ones that feel like there is a god who isn't welcoming and inclusive of them (usually not Pharisees.)

Bonus: Complex thoughts don't fit into 280 characters. No Twitter debates Ryan. Ever. 

what god?

I don't believe in god. 
What god? 

I do believe in god. 
What god? 

She loves god. 
What god? 

He's such a servant of god. 
What god?

She's a serious evangelist for god. 
What god? 

It can be used rhetorically, judgmentally, and even honestly. 

So... what god?

Well, I can only speak for myself. 

Humanity & relationship. 
Mystery & metaphor. 
Experience. 
Equality. 
Love.

That god?

bipartisan debt.

Well if there's one thing to unite both Republican and Democratic men and women elected to keep our government functioning at a sane and efficient level it's... spending more money. 

Around 300-400 billion more dollars.

Estimates are now that the federal deficit will reach 1.15 trillion in 2019 (that's just for that year) up from 439 billion in 2015, taking into account the new spending deal and the latest tax cuts. 

Yes, if there is one thing that bonds our culture together, it's spending more money we don't have. 

Maybe it's true. "In God We Trust" it says on our money. And I guess if the god is the one we're holding in our greedy hands it makes perfect sense the words are printed on it. 

$22,196.85

Sound like a lot of money? 

What about every second? 

That's how much money the United States will be spending every second on defense (if the current measure passes) in 2018.

It will go up next year.

Like I said, fear isn't cheap. 

fear isn't cheap.

We live in a really safe neighborhood. I would bet that we are in the top 1% of safe neighborhoods in the world. I don't know many of your stories but I would imagine most of you do too. 

I recently passed by a car in a driveway of a house near to us and the car had a steering wheel club on it. 

I'm not sure if a car has EVER been stolen from any house in our neighborhood in the last 100 years. 

Which made me think a few things. 

Fear isn't free. Or cheap. 

It's costing us money everywhere we turn. And even more time, opportunity, and contentedness. 

stevenson.

When Bryan Stevenson talks - or writes - I listen. I recommend everyone read this article, especially if you're white. It's long but worth it. 

You can't do reconciliation work, you can't do restoration work, you can't do racial justice work, you can't create the outcome that you desire to see until there has been truth-telling. And truth-telling has to happen when people who have been victimized and marginalized and excluded and oppressed are given a platform to speak, and everybody else has to listen.

we don't.

She had to be in her 80's. Maybe 90's. But she had a fire. Lifelong Patriots fan and the person interviewing her said: "What do you think of the Eagles?" 

Her answer: "We don't." 

Bam!

One could argue - maybe they should have. Might have won the game. (Congrats Philly.)

One could argue - blatant arrogance. 

One could argue - always know your enemy. 

One could argue - always have to be aware of the competition. 

Here's the thing. She didn't respond "Who?" She knew who the Eagles were. She knew they played football. I imagine she knew all kinds of things about them and how they play. But she didn't think about them: dwell on them, worry about them.. they didn't consume her thoughts. (And, if I'm honest, they do sometimes consume mine.)  

Radical difference. 

Be aware. Yes. Now stop thinking about them. All of them. Any of them. Yes, even them. 

I wonder after the game how she would have responded with the same question. I hope her answer would be the same. "We don't." 

Failure is no reason to start being consumed with them. 

sub this for that.

If we knew their story, we'd probably be more sad than angry. So, the next time we feel angry, try subbing sadness for the anger and see what happens. It's generally a more productive emotion. Sadness leads to vulnerability and empathy instead of violence and separation - like anger does. 

Just swap out sadness for the anger. See what happens.

Then, be sad with those who are sad. Be happy with those who are happy. And leave the anger for better emotions. 

yoda.

In case you missed the yoga firestorm this week, here's the quick summary: Matt Walsh tweeted something about yoga being evil and then the internet responded (per usual) with blazes of agreement and disagreement, then he wrote an article, and then there were other articles... and wow, is it 1991 again? 

I remember in High School a pastor was informing us of the dangers of Star Wars because... Yoda.... Yoga... he kept repeating slowly. Wait? Yoda is bad because it sounds like Yoga and, of course, Yoga is bad? Correct. 

Seriously, I thought the yoga-is-evil argument died when Mark Driscoll left his church in Seattle. But, apparently, it's back! 

Beyond reason 9,231 as to why Christianity is becoming more uninteresting, confusing, hypocritical and, thus, dead, every day in America, the back and forth does raise some interesting thought, beyond the whole idea of whether a pose can be inherently spiritual or whether something that started one way can change into something else - like pretty much every cultural thing we do, including church. But, I digress. 

What if Christians are flocking to yoga because it is more genuinely spiritually appealing? Yoga offers an actual experience of body, mind, and spirit vs much of Christianity which offers a theoretical concept that just sits in a brain. And eventually rots. (And sometimes takes the rest of the brain with it.)

What if Christians are really tired of being told what is good and what is bad and, instead, are starting to discover how to help make all things good (reconcile them)? 

What if Christians are actually starting to believe in a God that is everywhere - as in every...

every tree,
every person,
every rock, (they will cry out)
every pose,
every tradition,
every religion,
every building,
every ritual,

vs the god that is only in Merry Christmas (not Happy Holidays) and Easter Bunnies (after they've been mysteriously approved) and worship songs (if they say "Jesus" or are old enough to be called  hymns)? 

What if Christians are leaving Christianity and finding God? 

I guess that's the real fear for people like Matt Walsh. I just wish he would say that. 

confidence.

How much is a little more confidence for the rest of your life worth to you?

Or how about a little more empathy? 

Or joy? 

$1000? $5000? $10,000

I'd say this: I've met people who have left the country for a month and returned with at least 3 time as much confidence, empathy, and joy... for well under $5,000. 

It's not just travel. It's not just confidence.

It is about spending money for completely different reasons than we often do. 

stop waiting.

Taking my daughter to school yesterday morning I found myself behind that car. The driver was waving his arm out the window, trying to get another car that was attempting to leave the parking lot to turn in front of him, before he turned in himself. 

He was... being nice. I guess. Giving up his right-of-way to let someone else get out before him. 

But, here's the problem. 

Well, first, the driver was on his cell phone and oblivious to the guy waving his arm out the window - but that's a whole other problem. 

The other problem is that, in trying to be nice, he was actually backing up the traffic behind him, including me, and confusing everyone around him. Is he going to go? Is he in trouble? Is he going to pull out right when the other guy does? What's he doing? 

I'm all for breaking bad rules and destroying unjust systems. This is not that. 

Go. 

You're meant to go. You're meant to be "selfish" by pulling into the parking lot. You're meant to stop waiting and stop waving your hand out the window. 

Eventually the man did go. I pulled in after him and the man who had been waiting to leave, left right behind me. 

Lots of added drama and stress just trying to be nice. 

The moral of the story: be careful how you choose to be nice. Sometimes you need to stop waiting and press the accelerator - everyone will be just fine when you do. In fact, they might be even better. 

arrogance.

Sometimes... freedom looks like arrogance, especially to someone still in prison. 

And sometimes... we excuse our arrogance by calling it freedom. 

And sometimes... freedom and arrogance seem indistinguishable. 

And sometimes... we need a little arrogance to leave the cage. 

And sometimes... it all gets complicated. 

Most people don't want to be arrogant but most people do want to be free. 

So remember.

Arrogance always comes from and leads to division and inequality.
Freedom always comes from and leads to equality and unity. 

8 years.

I've got a new proposal. 

We've all noticed that the kind of people who we want to run for president don't run for president very often because getting there, and the job, are both not worth it.  Can you imagine if it was a lifetime deal? No one would run. (Check that, the worst kind of people would run.) 

I don't think it's a huge stretch to say the role of "pastor" is following the same path as president, if it's not there already. 

So, in the same way that presidents can serve a maximum of 8 years, in order to protect both the country and themselves, I propose the church institute a similar policy. You get 8 years as a pastor/leader. To protect both the church and the pastor. 

I can't say.

I have a new rule. I think it's a pretty good rule - feel free to adopt it if you'd like. 

If I'm in a conversation and someone says anything along the lines of "I heard something about you. Or an opinion. Or an idea. Or a whatever." I immediately stop them and say "Will you be able to tell me who said this?" 

If the answer is "no" or "well I can't say who said it" or "out of respect for..." then I will graciously decline to hear whatever was about to be said. 

I'm done responding to imaginary people. I won't let that evidence be submitted into the court of my head. Too many real people I'd rather respond to.